Bad Holidays

[Naori]

I don't know what is wrong in our relationship. We always get into fights at the beginning of the holiday and end up not talking to each other the entire weekend.

We do most of or skyping on the weekend. But everytime we argue and waste it.

But the thing that bother me the most is my boyfriend never wants to talk about the things we argue.. He just chooses to ignore and stop talking.

He thinks I force him to do things. But all I want his for him to want to do things for me without me asking and just think in my shoe for a moment.

I mean, I wish he would say or do thing to show he loves me like when I say I am listening to this song or watching this show he would should some interest and watch or hear it. But he doesn't. So we argue... I say how come you dont spontaneously you know show me affections. I feel like Im forcing him to do things he doesn't want to and I hate that. Is it wrong of me to ask?
[edit] Another thing about this is... I think he feels like I am forcing him... Like how he always sleeps when we skype, while we could be awake and talking.. I mean.. when he falls asleep I tend to too.. but once I get sleeping I stay sleeping.. and he gets upset at that...

We don't talk like we use to, or as romantic as we use to. Things just got dull and boring. We ever talk about anything. I feel tired of always finding trivial things to talk about but he isn't very responsive or really interested.

I feel really tired and I cry a lot because of things like these and I don't want to.
I keep doubting our relationship he doesn't even seem to care enough about our relationship to even argue or say anything.

[Mio]

I'm sorry you are going thru a tought patch, all I can say is that I hope you can have a deep talk with your boy and let him know how you feel, and for both of you to compromise about this. Best wishes!

[Naori]

Like we can talk... I mean everything feels forced..

[Waldoonfire]

I know exactly how you feel about the crying! I don't want to cry about it especially in front of my boyfriend because I'm sure he would just be more annoyed and think i'm being a baby but at the same time I really would like to talk to him about more important things without fighting all the time, and wasting the precious time that we do get to talk.

[BJL_Sweetheart1109]

How often do you talk? How often do you see one another?
I know for us, we both do the same thing day after day. We make sure we call each other everyday, even if it is just to say hey...I'm going to bed...what did you do today?....the same thingi do everyday. It does tend to bother me some times that we don't have long conversations, but we just don't always have a lot to talk about. Plus, when I start missing him a lot, I want to talk....I need to talk to him more, hear his voice more. But when he's going through a harder time, he just wants to be left alone....he'd rather just zone out on his game and not think about it and talking to me just makes him miss me more.
ALSO...the first year we were together, we tried to visit one another every month or two, but it was new we needed that. I find we can make it to that 3 month mark fairly well between visits, then we go through this rough patch where we both miss each other a lot and find it more difficult to cope with the distance....still we don't quite know what to do to help fill the distance. Once we make it through that we're usually good for a bit again. But the visits just help so much more, someone on the forum once described visits as hitting the refresh button, I know I come home all amped about making it so far, and ready to push through another however many months.
I know I'm always asking the SO to do things. I send (well did) packages almost monthly, letters almost weekly, and I send a text now and then during the day just to let him know I'm thinking about him. I've only gotten 2 packages from him ever...valentine's day and my bday....and one other card bc I insisted on it. It's not that he's not thinking about me or doesn't care about me....it's just it's not his thing. His way of showing he cares is through actions, by taking care of me....last time he was home he bought new tires for my vehicle bc he was worried mine were too old, the time before that he washed my vehicle. Sending cards, writing letters, etc just aren't his thing....he doesn't really think about those things...that's just not how he thinks about showing me he cares. Cards and stuff just come naturally for me, I don't really think about doing it....he has to put lots of effort into those sorts of things. So maybe the things you're asking for......it's just not how he shows he cares.

Arguing about it will not solve it. It will come to the point where you won't look forward to talking bc you just know it will be a fight and you two will be miserable. Maybe he'd be better at writing you when he's upset....I'm much better with the written word when I'm upset. Idk....hope it works out and you two can compromise.

[Naori]

well I messaged my boyfriend since I couldnt wait around for him.. we ended arguing and almost ended up like (The breakup with Jennifer aniston and vince vaghn) but i guess one person had to pull the reign this time so i did but yeah i know if he'd really wanted to break up he wouldn't have let it go but he did... and said he needed a week to cool off..

i dropped it. At least this time was a time limit. I hated not knowing the time.. but I can't say our problem is solved but at least ... its off my chest and all..

[xsomanymilesx]

maybe you talk too much - maybe try something different than skype - its more awkwardon a video call i think and i run out of things to say alot easier.
why not try MSN or something for a while?
or maybe you just need a break from eachother and see how much you miss eachother. i guarentee you will miss eachother so much and things will get better
sorry i couldnt give any better advice...
good luck!!!

[Naori]

we do msn... ahaa.. we msn, sms, skype, and email.
we just run out of things to say......