Grandchildren

[NaNi]

My mom doesn't care if we have children or not. She just wants us to be happy.

[Jazi]

His parents can't accept our relationship/me so I doubt they are wanting grandchildren right now.. lol

as for my family.. they love my SO and joke about kids every now and again. My mum is sending out a Christmas card this year with a photo of me, my siblings and my SO on it. I said to mum that she'd have to explain to some people who he was and she said to me that my SO is 'a long lost son', in a joking way lol. we also joked that my SO can't leave the family now that he's in the official family Christmas card. So yeah mum absolutely loves him and will be delighted to be a granny whenever the time comes i'm sure.

[Riyko]

my parents are good for now with grandchildren since they have 3 nephews, my guys family on the other hand are telling him do not have kids until your divorce is final and you can dedicate yourself to the child and other woman fully :|. So no there is no pressure, but I have a huge hunch i could possibly have a bun in the oven!

[lucybelle]

Are you's going Child-free Lucybelle?

I don't really know yet. I guess I'm going back and forth right now. I almost feel like I have to. Because I have freaking great genes and to not pass these good looks on would be a sin!

[Engel]

Funny, I just told a friend I will get married and she asked me if we will already start to try to have babies now!

I got kind of pissed, because its none of her business, and the way she asked.. i dont know, was like preassuring me in a bad way.


I said to her that people are never happy. If you are single, they ask when will you find a boyfriend. if you have a boyfriend, when will you get engaged, if engaged, when you will get married!
When married, when will you have a kid, when you have a kid, when will you give your kid a sibling! and people may give their opinion, regardless of you wanting it, about you being a parent too young or too old.

So, as we could never possibly please them all, we wil just do it our way, and whomever has a problem with it would better keep it to themselves. sorry for the rant, is just i dont know how me not wanting to be a mother now at 23 years old is possibly any of her business, I just idnt like the way she was kind of demanding information in a non polite way. erhh.


I just hope, whenever I have a kid, someone Im close with, a relative, friend, friemd from the SO, has one around the same age (til 2 years of difference or less), would be great for playdates, me and him would also get to have a good time with the other parents and talk with people we get along with!

People see my age though as optimal child bearing age or something, and I get many not so subtle hints from people who know I've a long term boyfriend, mostly my aunt, it's getting quite embarrassing.

how old are you, if you wouldnt mind me asking? i have no idea what are optimal child bearing ages, or what people may think they are

[Brieasaurus]

Considering my SO is Desty IV, his entire family (and himself included, he never stops dropping hints about having D5) are more than excited for us to settle down, get married and start having babies. His mom has even started picking out baby clothes. I still think we can wait a while longer haha. Future plans of our 6 kids and 2 dogs work just fine with me for now.

[kiara_silver]

Were still in our teens, barely going into our twenties, so no one is in any rush for us to start reproducing haha. My parents are a firm, wait wait wait. My grandma tells me often, don't get pregnant. So they all are not ready to be grandparents. I haven't spent any time with my SO's family, so haven't had this come up. But he told me once, that his mom said we should wait at least a year before having kids when we get married, or together. lol so yeah everyone is okay with waiting. But I see kids in our future in a few years.

[Madge]

My SO and I have talked about this and we don't really want to have children until we are more stable (same country, finished my masters, financially ready) so we are thinking 4-5 years from now I want to enjoy just being with my SO before I bring children into the picture.

His family haven't dropped hints..this my be due to the fact that my SO was a long distance baby and they know the stress that can occur when you are in different countries.

My family haven't really said anything although I think once my SO and I are married they might start up.

[Trethsparr]

I said to her that people are never happy. If you are single, they ask when will you find a boyfriend. if you have a boyfriend, when will you get engaged, if engaged, when you will get married!
When married, when will you have a kid, when you have a kid, when will you give your kid a sibling! and people may give their opinion, regardless of you wanting it, about you being a parent too young or too old.

This is so true, sadly.

I'm, personally, fine with waiting much longer, but I have started to think about having kids relatively soon-ish as I'm 27 and my husband is 30. When I was younger I heavily considered going child-free for a long time (I'm really not a kid person and I never have been), but a few years before I met my husband I've had a bit of a change of heart. Then, meeting him sealed the deal for me. I want to make his babies.

I'm still in no hurry to go through pregnancy, labor, or motherhood, though. My husband (and his mom) would be so fine if I found out I was pregnant tomorrow, though -- they've said as much -- despite the fact we're not quite ready.

My mom encourages me to wait until we're in a more stable position (i.e. he's done with school -- he's in his last year). Oh, and until I move back closer to her. Typical, right?

[kat4301]

My parents want grandchildren but not anytime soon. My SO's parents probably would have loved me married with four kids by the age of 25. They only have one grandchild, and the daughter he came from is probably done having kids so they are ready for some more tiny babies. Its both a running joke and somewhat annoying how much they want grandchildren, especially when the future is so undecided.

[SquishyLove]

Not really since I have yet to meet his parents but it's something I dread thinking about a lot As the only one among my sisters who is in a relationship I feel quite responsible to my parents for bringing them a grandchild someday in case life turns out that my siblings stay single for awhile, and as my boyfriend is the only one possible to bring his parents a grandchild...yeah. It really, really scares and upsets me since the idea of having a baby is something I can think about a lot and get all torn up inside about and having the extra factor of feeling like I owe both my parents as well as his makes it even worse.

You don't actually owe your parents a grandchild and he doesn't owe his one either. You guys should only have kids if you truly want it, not because your parents want it. They aren't the ones who have to feed, clothe, finance it, or raise it. It's a personal choice made by a couple, and you shouldn't make the decision because you feel your owe someone something. Parents should never birth a child expecting it to give them a grandchild. It's honestly absurd, if you think about it. Having a child is a big decision, and you should only go into it if it's what you truly want, after weighing all of your thoughts and feelings about it. Best of luck to you!

[CynicalQuixotic]

Considering my SO is Desty IV, his entire family (and himself included, he never stops dropping hints about having D5) are more than excited for us to settle down, get married and start having babies. His mom has even started picking out baby clothes. I still think we can wait a while longer haha. Future plans of our 6 kids and 2 dogs work just fine with me for now.

What is Desty IV?

[SquishyLove]

Are you's going Child-free Lucybelle?

Just to put it out there, my fiance and I are child-free and so happy with our choice. We're approaching our 30's, and for both of us, neither one of us ever wanted kids. We talked about it in the beginning of our relationship, although I think both of us were afraid to "scare the other off" because sometimes the kids thing can be a dealbreaker. But as time went on, we opened up about it more and more and found we are on the same page. The whole "You'll change your mind" thing is the biggest annoyance. Why can't people respect that the decision to have a child is for US as a COUPLE to make, and not for anyone else to stick their nose into? I don't feel that I owe my parents grandchildren. If you think about it, it's ludicrous. Our parents all made a decision to birth and raise us, and simply being born to our parents doesn't entitle them to anything from us, other than gratitude if they did a good job. Our destinies and lives are for us to decide, not our families. I've decided that my body is going to be a recreational facility, not a manufacturing plant. Nothing about children appeals to me. I don't even think they're cute, amusing, fun, etc. I'm mostly pretty neutral to them. I hope I don't get flamed, because sometimes the subject of children really gets to people's emotions, and if you tell them you don't care for kids they start to get very defensive and angry about it (in my experience). I'm childfree, my fiance is childfree, and we are happy with our choice. We feel it will work better for our life together, we'll have a happier marriage without children, and we'll get to live the lifestyle we want. The decision of whether or not to procreate is up to the couple, and is a personal decision. My mom has hinted at the possibility of grandkids, but she also knows my rather blase feelings about kids. I think she might be hopeful that I'll change my mind and get baby fever, but I've never felt at any point in my life (and I'm getting pretty near to 30) any desire to have a kid, ever. The thought of being pregnant terrifies me. The thought of the responsibility of parenthood and the sacrifice a couple makes in their sex life is something that also terrifies me. I don't want to share him with a kid, and he doesn't want to share me. I know I'm super lucky to have a partner on the same page. Sorry to ramble, but I wanted to add a child-free perspective to the discussion, with all due respect intended to everyone who's opinion may differ from mine. It's a personal lifestyle choice.

[books]

For years, my Mom was the worst with this, even when I was single with no boyfriend in sight she would ask me when I planned on having kids! My older brother has since given her a grandchild, and his wife has another on the way, so she's calmed down. I've explained to her that I want to plan things out with my SO...he's in his last year of engineering school and I'm working trying to pay grad-school loans off. In due time (hopefully ~1 year), we can be together- marriage, a family, the whole deal. My SO's family is surprisingly understanding about all of this. They have put no pressure on us to rush things- I say it's surprising b/c in his culture it's definitely the norm to have children super early, but they really seem to respect our decision to plan things out beforehand.

[SDPersona]

My dad said he'd look forward to holding my own baby in his arms, but that was part of a very weird and funny disscussion about getting certain pets. Trust me, you don't want to to know in what way he meant it. But, I think he wouldn't mind being a grandpa in a couple of years. My mom on the other hand said she isn't ready to be a grandma yet. She still feels too young for it and she's also caring for my far younger siblings, both 7 and 13 years old. Her words, not mine.

My SO's family is totally in the family way, because his eldest sister got married a few months ago and he told me they are planning to try for a baby next year. Which they are all excited about! My SO wasn't overy excited, he just got that smile that says that he likes the idea that he might be an uncle in a year or two. His mom of course is deliriously happy and talking very often about babies and doesn't hold back that she wants grandkids from all of her three kids. It was made so obvious when his mom got my SO something to play for his kids once. He showed me and wow, did it weird me out! I'm not ready yet to think about kids, at least not at this stage of our relationship.... Maybe in two or three years? I want to be married by then.