Should I fight or give up?

[kiti28]

I guess all of us have been through what I am going through right now. I feel like I can't take it and want to give up. Sometimes its so hard to be so far away from the ones we love. Especially if you realize that this person is your true love. In my case, I've been waiting for a man like this for 15 years and when I finally found him, I can't be close to him. We communicate a lot but still it's some days are so unbearable, that it seems my heart would break and I would die. I love him so much and miss him like crazy, but this distance is killing me. Please, I would really appreciate if you would suggest me what to do or maybe just tell me what helps for you when you want to give up??? I live alone in London, my sister was living with me but she had to leave for some time and I don't have friends here cause I moved here only like 2 months ago. Would be grateful for any advice and support

Thank you!!!

[LilyChiba]

Personally, when things get hard, we remind ourselves that giving up was never an option from the moment we began. Having each other in our lives has affected us so greatly that we just wouldn't be the same if we didn't make it. Kinda like life wouldn't be worth living and I have -never- been one of those people that thought dying for someone after losing them was worth it. But I think a part of me would die if I couldn't be his wife. That said, I do everything in the world I can to distract myself if I'm down. Sometimes watching things can make it worse, but can be good. I play games or just talk with friends (my irl friends don't know about us, but it is still nice to hang out). I live with 3 of them, so my situation is a little different. Most of all, if I need a huge dose of cheer up, I go for a long drive with the stereo on. I can just zone out and normally feel much better after. Would be like having a train ride with nice scenery or even when it rains, its calming. Just imagine life without them and whether you can really do it. If you can't, then don't give up. It's easier to give something up than to fight with every bone in your body to have them. But once you do, you can stand proud that you actually achieved such a great goal.

[yayagrl]

You mentioned you are new in town. I find that when I miss my love that if I keep myself busy I don't think about our distance as much. If you have things you like to do I'd look up places to do them. Like if you like skating or something find someplace to do it where you could meet people. Or if it's something you think you'd like to do. Maybe sign up for pottery making lessons or a local book club. Maybe volunteer someplace like an animal shelter so you have something to do in your spare time. If you really love you SO, and I can tell that you do then absolutely DO NOT GIVE UP. Tough times are put in your life to show you how strong you are and if you can pull through and make it through this then you can make it through anything. Best of luck to both you and your SO

[uniquefem]

Its always seemed easier to let things go but is it easier for you to live without him?

LDR never related to the "easy" word. But for me it would be extremely HARD to live without my SO or erase him from my life. You will realize some one you love meant a lot when you loose him/her. That moment you will say i want to hear his voice, or a single text msg from him... just one, but you cant get it because he/she not yours anymore.

Just ask your self, if the relationship worth the struggle??does he worth the stress you feel?

[dukes2011]

I went through something similar where I moved to an unfamiliar place and it affected my relationship a lot. Just try to keep busy. I started going to a yoga class and it helped me with stress- it's a great way to exercise too! Get involved in something you love and you'll gradually meet people with the same interests as you. It took me about 3 months to fully adjust and start forming solid relationships, so hang in there.

You're right in saying many of us have been through this too. It's important to recognize your feelings are normal, so don't be afraid to feel this way. I've learned I'm more resilient than I ever gave myself credit for and I hope you are discovering this too. Although it's hard to miss the ones you love they can also help you get through times like this so keep fighting and don't give up.

[kiti28]

Thank you all so much for taking time and supporting me. I can't imagine my life without him, so I guess giving up wouldn't solve that. I know I am a fighter and for love like this I will fight till the end and he is worth every tear, every heartache I have while we are apart. I already started to keep myself busy,attended bakery class and now every day I am going for long walks,it helps me a lot cause then I am with other people,even if its just passing them by
Yayagrl, actually I was thinking to voluntier in some animal shelter, cause I love animals so much, thanks for reminding me about that-really appreciate it. I am so glad I have you all as my support, cause we all are in the same situation,we all have long distance relationships,so its easier for us to understand each other. I love you all and promise to fight for my love till my last breath:angel

[HollzHeartsChris]

I have a single quote that sums up pretty much how I feel on the subject of impossibilities.

"Nothing is impossible. The word itself says I'm Possible."

You want something bad enough, you'll fight your utmost hardest for it, and it's no different when you're in an LDR. I sometimes question myself when I feel down and tell myself I'm not strong enough, but then I remind myself I am, because I'm starting to believe (even though sometimes I feel like I'm weak) I'm not weak at all. I second what's already been said, keep busy and you can't go wrong

[heylittlekrissy]

After having recently lost the man I fell so in love with, I realized no matter how tough things were being so far away from him, it's nothing compared to the heartbreak I'm currently facing no longer having him.

If you love him, fight for him.

[xbriellex]

I'm so glad you realized that every pain of being away from him is worth it.
Just like everyone else, I face the same pain. I feel like giving up sometimes, but then I realize that the moment that we will be in each others' arms again will be so worth it. My boyfriend said, "No one said it will be easy, but I know we can make it because we love each other and we will have our entire lifetime being with each other once we got through this distance."

[Alemap]

If it ever comes up again, ask yourself one simple question, which may help put it in perspective; would you rather be across the world from your SO, or across the table from someone else?
I find that one really helps.

[Ianthe]

When I start to miss J too much, I tell myself I'd have to shave if he were here...and then I feel better.

When I first started dating him, I had just moved to a new state and was SO SO lonely. I missed my friends and mom desperately! It actually took a few years before I stopped feeling lonely all of the time. And the solution that did it for me was finding things to do that were totally separate from my guy. I mean, sure, I can play online games, but that's how we met! So I needed something that was all me, to remind me that I am more than just a girlfriend/fiancee.

I also keep in mind that I wanted to be single for a few years after my last breakup to work on myself. Since that didn't happen (darn love!!!), I am trying to use this time before we move in together to work on myself.

[kiti28]

Thank you so much everyone for advice and support. I will keep in mind everything whats been said here and I also believe that there are no such words in my life like"can't do or it's impossible". We can do and have anything we wish for and do impossible things if we trully love and have faith in our hearts. And when it gets hard again I know what to do and where to look for support. Thank you again so much