Finally ... the Confidence I Have Been Waiting for has Arrived

[Sierra]

Throughout my 8 month LDR, I have really struggled with having confidence in our relationship for a variety of reasons. Firstly, I wasn't 'allowed' to go visit him where he lives because he was so ashamed of the condition of the house he was living in (his old family home, blah blah blah, I let this go and respected his boundaries as I had no reason to think he was married or hiding anything from me.), because of such I hadn't met any of his friends ... I just felt isolated and that he was ashamed of me.

After my last visit, having met ALL his friends, having him 'show me off' at work and what not, I feel really confident in our relationship. It helped me with some of my body image issues, as well as just having faith in us.

In the back of my mind I always worried that he wasn't really in this for the long haul, and I came to find out that I was right, in the beginning he thought that the distance was going to tear us apart, and that's something I have recently been battling too. Knowing that he went through the same thing and now has confidence in our relationship allows me to have confidence in it as well.

I love my boyfriend, and I can't wait to move in with him. He's the love of my life and I know we can make it through this. I think I just needed to hear a vote of confidence from him and meet the people that he hangs out with all the time.

I can't tell you what a relief it is and how I feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know we can do this. I know I can trust him. I know I can believe in us like I've wanted to but been afraid to this whole time because I didn't want to get my heart broken.

[HollzHeartsChris]

Glad to hear that, Sierra It's nice to hear you have the confidence factor, tells me that you guys have a very strong relationship which is always lovely to hear =)

[Sierra]

It's really been a struggle for me. Like any relationship we have faced our ups and downs and I think the biggest issue has been my insecurity. While I know there are some things I'll still be insecure about, it's nice to feel stronger, and I guess confirmed in my relationship.

My last relationships have left me feeling so ... broken down and like they were all doomed (and I work in family law and that makes those feelings worse looking at divorces all day). I didn't really know I could feel so ... ok and safe. I've been looking for this and while I know it's no guarantee that our relationship will work out, like any relationship, for now I feel good. I've needed this and it took 8 months for me to get here. I feel blessed to have a boyfriend who has been so patient with me and waited this long for me ... well I guess be the girlfriend I should be.

I've just struggled so much, I mean I really have, to not have that struggle is a true blessing.

[heylittlekrissy]

I'm really glad to hear things are going so well for you Sierra, and I do wish you the best of luck in everything continuing to go so well.

[HollzHeartsChris]

It's really been a struggle for me. Like any relationship we have faced our ups and downs and I think the biggest issue has been my insecurity. While I know there are some things I'll still be insecure about, it's nice to feel stronger, and I guess confirmed in my relationship.

My last relationships have left me feeling so ... broken down and like they were all doomed (and I work in family law and that makes those feelings worse looking at divorces all day). I didn't really know I could feel so ... ok and safe. I've been looking for this and while I know it's no guarantee that our relationship will work out, like any relationship, for now I feel good. I've needed this and it took 8 months for me to get here. I feel blessed to have a boyfriend who has been so patient with me and waited this long for me ... well I guess be the girlfriend I should be.

I've just struggled so much, I mean I really have, to not have that struggle is a true blessing.

Consider yourself lucky that you no longer have a struggle =) I can relate to you a little, I know where you're coming from with feeling like the relationships were doomed and they've left you feeling broken down, because this is now my fourth LDR and I wasn't sure I could attempt another after what happened a few months back. I guess I was proved wrong

All I'll say is now you have no need to dwell on the negatives Focus on the future and never look back once, and you'll be fine.

[Sierra]

Exactly Hollz. I found it easy to let go of that insecurity and embrace the way I'm feeling now. It's nice to be happy and confident that things are alright. I'm used to coming back from visits and just feeling like garbage, but this time it's the complete opposite. I know I have a reason to have faith and because of that it's easier to let go of that insecurity and negativity I was feeling before.

Hopefully this feeling doesn't go away lol

[aggie]

Yay! Hopefully now things will be only better!
Confidence is very very very important in LDRs so don't ever let it leave you, now that you know you hold a special spot in his heart.
Wish you all the best!

[meganpillow]

In my opinion, one of the "ingredients" of a strong relationship is FIRST be completely happy and secure with themselves. I can't say how many times I've seen sad relationships where one is completely reliant of the other financially and emotionally that they forget who THEMSELVES are. I think it is so wonderful that you are taking steps to becoming secure both within yourself and your relationship.

My mother (a successful long distance relationship candidate) always told me "If it's meant to be, it will happen".

Just keep smiling [: