What to do when people mess up your plans?(*sigh*)

[IdDieForYou]

Hi everyone,

What do you do when parents, family or however mess up your plans?My boyfriend and me wanted to see eachother in February(with the job and so on)

But now it seems a whole rambling of the parents about how it could be more acceptable(money and so on although he pays the tickets by himself) to come every -amount- months or he comes to me, I go to him and so on.

Of course I understand that it's nothing to do with me and the tickets cost a lot of money sometimes+he also has some things to pay also, they adore me as he says but some people don't understand the following:

Just I feel a bit upset...I have health issues that are for a lifetime, disable me for many things that affect my daily life And understandable is that my mom would worry so much if I'd fly on my own to there.

I'm sure we'll come up with a solution but this can be so upsetting, also when a lot of other things are already going on at the same time, I hope I'll be ableto stay strong.I'll never allow anyone to get inbetween me and my SO!But I want to so badly be with him, especially now.

I know this can solve itself on his own, but I just want to be understood.I know I should talk to my SO about that if it bugs me or I'm upset over this.I just want to be happy with him and make our visit official again as soon as possibly as we planned to but now it got delayed..for the first time.It's upsetting.

[AEAS]

I was supposed to go visit my SO for the first time in his city this Christmas, but his family changed their plans of inviting me because thier going to see my SO's aunt or something. I was so excited to see his mom again, to meet his awesome friends, and to see his city and a country i'd never been to before. It honestly did not set me back too much, I always assumed I wouldn't get to go, cause that's just the kind of person I am. I think the best thing is to just persevere You and your SO are there for eachother, and it seems like you have a very strong bond! So don't let it go to waste. Just keep planning, and trying and eventually it'll happen and pay off!

[IdDieForYou]

Thank you so much for your comforting words, it means a lot.Sometimes it's just upsetting if things seem to go a bit 'wrong', especially in the moment/period that you really want to be even more close to eachother than the other times.I'm trying to stay strong for us and remain positive.

[squirrelz15]

Its frustrating. I might be kinda annoyed for a while, but I get over it. I understand it. Sometimes I do wish he'd just tell his parents off and do what he wants, but I know him better than that. Overall we don't have to many issues, and usually his reason for cancelling is mostly legit. Stay strong. It will be worth it in the end.

[Jazi]

I feel for you.. this kind of reminds me of my own situation.

my SO and I had been planning for me to be with him and his family this Christmas. We didn't think they would have a problem with it as a spent 5 with him/them in July this year and treated me fairly nicely to my face.. he took his time to officially bring up the idea of christmas up with them and when he did they basically shot the whole thing down and put a time limit on me being there. They also very disapprovingly questioned how i could manage to take 5 weeks off work/school (It's the Australian summer.. and I finished my course in June anyway.. and I can take leave without pay from work.. AND it's NONE of their business really!) they also said about him taking too much time off from work and said the whole 'if you were with a local girl you'd go to her house for a few days and she'd go to your house for a few days..' They also said a lot of other things.. none of them good. They are sticking their nose into how me and my family are feeling about it and assuming a hell of a lot. They have said things along the lines of" We’re a very close family because we are a small family, and we miss each other if anyone is away for a while. as yours is a bigger family it is easier for them" his dad also said to me in an email 'because of (my SO's) career prospects you (as in me) would be moving here, you must be having mixed emotions about that." I'm PRETTY SURE that's upto me and my SO to decide where we live, thanks! (and we weren't even talking about who would live where when his dad emailed me this!)

it was EXTREMELY hurtful to know that they don't support us AT ALL@! and when we told them it wouldn't be possible for me to be there for christmas because of their 'time limit' they didn't care at all, they are probably pleased that I won't be there.. as they are such a 'close small' family and all. honestly, I have the same amount of living BLOOD relatives as they do.. The reason our family is 'bigger' is because we WELCOME in the husband, wifes, girlfriends and boyfriends of our family members! My family consider my SO a member of the family and they've spent the same amount of time with him that i've spent with his family (a month)

sorry about my ranting, I suppose you could say i'm not dealing with it too well myself lol so i'm not in the best position to give advice.. I would say it helps me when i see other people going through difficulties that I can relate too. It helps to talk about it with people who understand.. and also i tend to have dreams where I yell at his family lol, it's kind of a nice release because in reality i would NEVER do that, I have always/will always try to be the best verison of myself around them and just hope that one day they'll come around..