Facebook relationship status (public or private?)

[Ms.Justine]

Oh Facebook status...I feel as though we rely on Facebook to make our relationships "official" so to speak. Honestly, I don't think it's a huge deal; I currently have my status as "in a relationship" with my SO but that's because I only add people on Facebook that I know personally or have a significant amount of trust in. So it really doesn't bother me. But if someone used their Facebook account as say a business or promotional purpose...I could understand why they wouldn't want to reveal their relationship status. With that being said someone that likes their privacy I can also understand them not wanting to reveal their personal material status.

Be that as it may, my SO was keen on being "Facebook official" and I didn't have a problem with it.

[thatgirllit]

I think the only discussion you need to have with your partner is when you are setting the boundaries for your relationship. Thus, if you are having a relationship. It should be clear to you both what is going on in the relationship.

As for Facebook, you should put up whatever status makes you comfortable. If you want to say that you are in a relationship then that should be your status. If you partner is not comfortable sharing that information, then he or she doesn't need to have their status as being in a relationship. They can remove that feature all together. However, if they are adamant that it remains single...that might be a bit worrisome.

When I am in a relationship it usually changes to "in a relationship," but I remove the activity from my profile. So the status changes, but I delete the notification that lets everyone know that I changed the status. Because of the way Facebook it set up the only people who will notice the change in the status of my relationship will be someone who is going to look for that information (i.e. opening the information tab).

Before, I didn't think anyone noticed what your relationship status was unless you announced it to the world. However, this one guy who asked me out (when I was dating someone else) mentioned that even though I said I was dating someone else, my relationship status said single...and stayed that way throughout the relationship. When he asked me out again and I told him I was seeing someone, he again said, "but your relationship status says 'single.'" He was obviously checking on the status of my relationship with the other guy. This was not an isolated incident and has happened more than once. They were both international students and I have since noticed that my non-American friends take information that is posted on Facebook more seriously than Americans (younger) do.

[thatgirllit]

Oh, sweetie.
Seriously?
There are so many red flags here that he should be in a ring, wearing capris and a bolero. You deserve better than this guy.

+1

It is one thing for your boyfriend to be a private person...however, going out of his way to hide your relationship (or lying about his relationship status) is really unacceptable. You deserve better.

[lucybelle]

Up until a few weeks ago I was in a fake relationship on facebook, and my SO was listed as single. I didn't care. The man's living with me, it's obvious we're together!

Then a few weeks ago he told me to "break up" with my "wife" and be in a relationship with him. I didn't understand why after all this time he would want to do it now, but I did because he asked me to.

LOTS of my friends who aren't my really close friends, had no idea I had a boyfriend nor that he was living with me for the longest. But, I don't think it's my job to tell them every time I'm dating someone. If they need to know, they will

[Ianthe]

I'm so fascinated by all of the different answers!

I didn't want to start an official relationship with my guy until we had met face to face, so for about six months, our FB profiles both said "it's complicated" with the other. On the last day of our first meeting (which had gone amazingly), I hopped on my laptop and sent the request for change of status to "in a relationship"...in my own shy way, basically asking him if he wanted to make our relationship official. He checked his Facebook account shortly after, and when he saw the notification, I got glomped.

Of course, now the status says "Engaged" (publicly for both of us.) I work in customer service and a hundred or more strangers see me and the ring on my finger daily...I guess the 50-ish friends and family on my Facebook can know.

[lademoiselle]

I deactivated my original Facebook account soon after we became a couple. A few months later I created another, but abandoned that one too within 6 months During the time I was there the topic of revealing that we were together did come up. We both eventually decided against it and kept our statuses hidden, although he was less reluctant about telling people than I was (for various reasons). As far as I know my SO's relationship status still isn't visible, but most people he's in contact with know of my existence. He still has some photos of himself and his ex on his profile but I honestly couldn't care less! I'm far happier without Facebook in my life; I don't feel the need to announce anything on a social networking site in order to validate my relationship.

[lala]

I don't have a stutus and never had,cause I think it's too private and those friends who knows about us don't need a "status" and the others could ask if they won't or not- I don't care.
My SO had "single" in his status.. also when we dated and when I left. He was and I think is afraid to call it a relationship but I also thought that it would be wrong if he let the single-status on fb cause that won't be the true.. I just told him how I feel about it and he changed it. Then I got a bad conscious but he told me that everything is ok and that I was right and he wanted it. So now none of us has a stautus ps. I hate fb -.-

[deecakkes]

My boyfriend doesn't want us to put "In a relationship with..." because he thinks it's personal and it's our relationship. Other people don't need to know. So I just changed it so that it says I'm in a relationship. And I agree, if someone wants to know who I'm dating, they can ask me. At first I was a little hurt because I've never had anyone say that to me before, but he explained it and I quickly understood that it was only because our relationship is ours, not anyone else's.

[SDPersona]

It took a while for us to change our Facebook status and even then it just says "in a relationship". I decided against being linked to each other, mainly because I don't care about Facebook and I'm a private person. If any of our friends wants to know with whom we're in a relationship with, we'll tell who, how, where and that's enough. Also, we're both not very active on fb, for a number of reasons. Me, I don't care about it and I don't need them in my life like some others seem to do (but they're nifty enough for birthday dates - I'm terrible at remembering them!). He on the other hand just doesn't have the time - he's super busy!

[Tooki]

We only have it set to "In a relationship".

We can't be bothered to add names to it

[Engel]

public. and our status is married! I love to see that every time I login!

[snow_girl]

Ours is public. Neither or us really cared about it or ever had it public till the first time we went long distance, it was kind of nice to see it 'on paper' after I left.

[Kristin91]

He wanted to change it immediately after he asked me out, but my mom didn't know about us as anything more than friends, so I wanted the chance to get home and talk to her first. Then we both changed it almost immediately

[~whendarknessfalls]

haha he wanted to change it right away, he was so excited. he just wanted to show the 'world' that i was now his. and i was fine with it, so we changed it together (: i don't really think about it all that much now...

[Caitlin2009]

from the start we made it public, although at first we just had it as "In a relationship" not saying who it was we were dating, because we were afraid of how people would react since were the same sex, but after awhile we decided to put each others name in it and if anybody had a problem with it then oh well that was there issue