Fear

[Jezah]

My SO's close friend just died last weekend, and I just watched his funeral that HBB attended via webcast. The thing that makes this all so hard, his friend was also in a LDR from Scotland to Canada just like me and HBB are England to US. Hearing her words read at his funeral, about meeting at the airport and how similar it was to when me and HBB met, it hurt. It made me realize that, like her, if HBB dies I cannot be there and he will be buried without me being able to say goodbye. It just scared me, and no matter what fights me and HBB have and get over, I still love him more than anything else on this planet. I just feel so bad for this girl in Canada, she was with him for like 2 years so I cannot even imagine. Plus HBB had been so distressed, the whole thing is just so hard and so shocking. He was a healthy 22 year old guy, but he had some odd illness they never figured out that made him have seizures every few years...and the recent one killed him. Its just so out of the blue, and could happen to anyone really, and that scares me so much. I guess I just wanted to vent on here my fears.

[snow_girl]

I'm currently living with my SO so I mostly have those fears about losing a family member and not being there. My Grandfather passed a couple years ago while I was away and I wasn't able to attend his funeral. The other morning I woke up and my SO didn't breath for like 30 seconds when I looked over. I thought he died cause it took forever for him to breath but his skin was warm. It got me thinking what would happen if I woke up to my SO dead. Anyway to get back on topic I think that you can't worry to much about these things, everyone dies and it can creep up at any time but there is no point in worrying about it because you could spend a lot of time fearing the worst and have nothing happen.

[Yaaamiii]

I've often feared this as well. I fear losing a family member, or my SO, or something similar happening to the people my SO really cares about. I know it would affect me just the same. Snow_girl is right though, you can't spend too much time worrying about this because in the end, it'll happen eventually. You also just tend to worry yourself sick. I completely understand your fear however. My condolences.

[LilyChiba]

My SO lost his closest friend the day before Thanksgiving this year. I understand the feeling. It brought up memories of when I lost my dad six years ago and I couldn't stop crying all that day. There is always that fear that something will happen, but you can't let that hold you back.

[DollOnAMusicBox]

This past week we lost a family friend. It was so very sad with Christmas only a week away. And though it did upset me n make me worry about being LDR and something happening to my SO, more than anything it was important to tell him that he meant the world to me and that I love him. That he was special to someone. I must have told him like 15 times. He understood and I think he just humored me really, but knowing i had the chance to remind him of that seemed to help with the "he could die and I wouldmt be there" fear. Because I know that he knows exactly how I feel. And thats what really matters.

[Jezah]

I am trying not to dwell on it, I guess I have very inoften gotten anything that I want, and I want HBB and our life we have planned more than anything else in this world so I think I am almost waiting for something to happen. The whole LDR part of his friends death just shook me, and I empathize so easily and hearing what that girl wrote just made my heart ache. I am not alone in this, HBB has been saying "Don't die" to me all day and I know he felt the fear too. I guess you always fear your loved ones dying but when they are so far away it makes the fear worse.

[lucybelle]

I definitely don't dwell on this, but I'd be lying if it didn't cross my mind more than I'd like. I worry less about my family, and more about my SO. He works with heavy machinery and I'm so sure one day something is going to go wrong... ugh! He already comes home every day with new burn marks and scrapes all over his arms.