Cheering up your SO when they are sad :)

[hunniebunn]

I looked for a thread like this, and decided to start one

My SO goes to school in the US, and was suppose to start in January, but his work visa and documents from the school wasn't submitted in time so he is having to delay his start back to school to September. He is really upset, and he tends to close off/want to be alone when he is frustrated/upset because he doesn't want to snap on me. I know that the best thing to do is let him have his space and he will talk about it when he is ready. But I want to do something for him to let him know that I am here for him/make his day, other than just talking.

Does anybody else have a SO that closes off, and what do you do/have you done to make them smile and take their mind off things?

[efish1042]

Oooooh yeah. I drop the topic and talk about something else. Something important, unimportant, funny, whatever. I also send lots of hearts and funny faces or say goofy things to take his mind off of it. Sometimes I just babble on the phone with him... he says it soothes him.
Other than talking? I sent him a letter once, and a gift box of cookies and goodies and pictures of us. I've made him little crafts before. you might be interested in the "gifts" forum for stuff like that.
Just get him to smile and take his mind off things. even if just for a few minutes. He will appreciate it whether he says it or not.
HOWEVER!
If he gets really stand offish, just back off. He will snap. He won't like it, but it will happen. Sometimes they have to be miserable for a little while before you can help them. My SO gets upset about school and family all the time and he just closes off. Try to make him feel better, but read him well enough to know when to back off. Retreat and try again later.

[Brieasaurus]

My SO does that too, if he gets frustrated or angry he'll just simply say "I need my time or else I'm going to snap, I will talk to you later.". The best thing that I've found that works is to truly just give him his space for a little bit without giving him a hard time about leaving and then we comes back around to just keep the peace and not stress him out or anything. Some other things that I've done that's cheered him up a little bit afterwards was that I wrote him a letter saying that he is the most important thing in my world and all that cute stuff and then took a picture of it and texted it to him. If you two are on skype or something and he signs out then you can send him a nice message so that when he does come back online, he can see that you not only recognized his need to be alone but also wanted to cheer him.

[Zapookie]

My SO tends to not wanna tell me things when he's feeling upset or something like that... I just tend to pry it out of him because I want him to be able to talk about his feelings to me without worrying about judgement or shame. I feel that its important to be open in a relationship... you know, we're meant to be there for each other through the good and the bad. I wouldn't want to just leave him to himself because then he might feel like I don't care, when I do care and I just want him to be happy.

Everyone is different though, so its best to handle it the way you feel works best for you and your SO. I would try talking to him about it though, it never hurts to talk

[squirrelz15]

I'm the one that closes off in the relationship, and coming from someone who does close themselves off, a lot of times it is just best to give them their space, especially if they ask for it. I just need some me time to cool down. I don't get mad easily, but when I'm frustrated I just wanna do my own thing to blow off steam, sometimes that's something with my SO, sometimes not, but usually, I just wanna be left alone for a while.

[kiara_silver]

Its hard with the distance to cheer up your SO when they need it. You can't be there to hug them or give that comfort. I feel handicapped sometimes, when he's down and I feel like i can't make him feel better. I think the best thing you can do is the same they do for you, just letting him know your there for him emotionally. Reminding him that you love him, and that your here to talk whenever he want to or needs to vent. That if he needs he can come to you.