*whine!* I miss him and just need to vent a little!

[SquishyLove]

I miss my man so much, and I always have a little underlying feeling of longing and what he and I both describe as a sadness on the background while we're waiting to know when USCIS will approve our petition for a K-1 visa to bring him here so we can have some sort of idea of when we'll get to be together next (this time with the distance closed for good!). Today I'm feeling super sad even though Christmas and New Year's (as well as my birthday) are on the way and I should be feeling cheerful...*sigh* For both him and me, we're always just looking forward to the weekend when we can have our uber-long chats since during the week my work schedule makes it so we can maybe, at max, videochat for about a half hour to 45 minutes before I go to work and then talk on the phone a little on my lunch break. On weekends, we have 2 days to chat for 10 or 11 hours. We never fight, and we're in touch every day, and so we have this LDR thing down to a science after doing it so long, but we're both ready to be living together and the waiting just sucks. I miss him so badly today and the pangs are so bad I want to cry. I actually did tear up a little while talking to him on the phone on my lunch break earlier. He always soothes me very well when I get emotional and doesn't get annoyed with me. He never avoids me and is always there for me. He puts me first, and I him. So I know how lucky I am to be with him, and he always says to me every day, "We're always together, and I'm always with you," even when far away, and I know I'm never alone...I just feel so sad right now, and nobody I know really understands my pain. I can tell friends and family members how I feel, and they sympathize, but I know it's hard for them to really understand. Does anyone else ever get to feeling this way? That's probably a silly question, I'm sure all of us do. *sigh*

[squirrelz15]

Yeah, I'm sure we all do. It's hard, we just keep telling ourselves their worth it, because they are. Hope you can find something to put a smile on your face today. And Happy Birthday (soon!)

[xbriellex]

Every single day is like ten years of waiting til I see and be with my SO. It's like I can remember the times we were together, both good and bad, and I wish that it never had ended. But I'm holding on to those memories because I know all the wait and the tears and the sadness will be worth it once we see again. But then the thought of being separated again, and who knows when we're gonna see each other again kills me. Still, I know we can make it through. We just need patience.

Hoping for the best for you! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

[Lizzie2579]

I completely understand how you feel. My boyfriend is in the Turkish army at the moment doing his national service so we cant even talk, I wont see him until May and I was coping quite well but im having a really bad few days. I haven't spoken to him since sunday and he tried to call 3 times today and i had no signal at work so in the end he just had to leave a voicemail, I cried when i listened to it its so so hard sometimes but dont worry you're not the only one who feels this way. Think about when you close the distance, how amazing that will be, ive got years ahead of me before we can even start to think about closing the distance....so depressing, but like you say, we are doing this because we are lucky to have them, so concentrate on that!

[chef.rae]

It is really hard, just take it one day at a time. I always look at is as one day that passes is one more day closer to my SO. Just try to hang in there and keep your head high. He is worth the wait. Happy birthday soon!!!

[dafred_masta]

I know how you feel. My boyfriend is from the UK so not only are we so far apart but we have an awful 9 hour time difference I just got home from seeing him and after these visits is when I feel the most sad... Just know I have to wait months just to see him again.
It's awesome to hear that He's coming over for good! My man and I are starting the same process, it's very confusing! How has it gone so far for you two?

I know the pain of being apart is so unbearable at times, but keep your chin up and remember that the next time you see him it'll be for good and you wont ever have to worry about missing him again. You are very lucky
If you need more encouragement we'll be here for you every step of the way.

[kiti28]

I really do understand how it feels,because right now I am going through very tough times. He is super busy and I was feeling very down and couldn't reach him and I just freaked out. It was going on 2 days. Today I finally got him on the phone but he said he really can't talk and I just broke down and started to cry and said that I thought I am gonna loose him which is silly of course. Because I know he loves me very much and he told me, that I am not gonna loose him and that I just have to understand that he is very busy right now and I do understand. I just couldn't control myself and now he is feeling bad for sure because I sounded to histerical and normaly I would never do that. I guess this long distance relationship is harder then I thought, but still he is love of my life and despite all tears and sufferings I am going through I am still sure we are ment for each other and it's just a phase in my life when I lost control over myself,because sometimes the pain is killing me and it feels like I am done,but I am a survivour and life goes on. Tomorrow will be a brighter day and I will feel better again. We all support you, so whenever you feel down, you can always talk to us and we will be here to go through this all together. Wish you happy birthday girl

[uniquefem]

Its been 6 month for me not seeing him, it drive me crazy too.... and we wont be able to see each other any sooner---not until at least march.. i know how you feel *hugs*

[SquishyLove]

Thanks everyone for the kind words and the birthday wishes! It's so nice to hear them and to know I'm not the only one who gets in these melancholy moods!

My man and I are starting the same process, it's very confusing! How has it gone so far for you two?

Are you a member of visajourney.com? If not, join! It's been me and my man's #1 source of info during this process. It has TONS of guides on how to do everything, and a lot of members with very good advice as well! The guides are on there are far more informative than the USCIS website itself, and it will help you make sure you have everything you need to make it less confusing. We've been waiting almost 6 months with no word from USCIS as to whether or not our petition is approved. We included everything required and organized our packet meticulously to make everything easy for the agent who reviews our case to find. Still, no word. And a lot of members of VJ who applied after me are getting approved, and so it's frustrating. I've even contacted my congressman, who looked into it with USCIS and was told the same crap I've been told (wait 45 more days for an answer ). My congressman told me to contact him if in 45 days I've still heard nothing and maybe he can do more to help. *sigh* We're both feeling sad and frustrated with the waiting. The visit we had recently during November was amazing, and I know that when he gets here we won't have to be so far away from each other anymore and it will be awesome, but just not knowing when it'll happen can be frustrating of course...

He is completely worth it, because he's my Soul-Twin, and there's no other for me in this Universe, so of course it's worth it because I'm so lucky to have him.

[dukes2011]

I think a lot of us on here miss our SOs to the point where it hurts. I've been sad a lot lately too since it's the holidays and it seems like everyone around me at the mall and whatnot is holding hands with someone they love. That always makes it harder, but then I remember how my boyfriend and I never take simple things like that for granted. It makes it harder too when family and friends don't get it but you can always vent or blog on here and have tons of people from all over the world that get it. Sometimes you need to whine or cry to get all the emotions out. It took me a long time to learn it never helps to hold back. I hope your K-1 gets approved and hang in there! Have a wonderful holiday and birthday and focus on what you do have- a wonderful relationship with the man of your dreams.

[MonandTue]

I totally understand the longing and pain.

I totally miss my SO too. I came here today and registered as a member because of those same exact feelings.

I had lost contact with my SO two days ago. I noticed he wasn't texting me back like usual so I thought he lost his phone (which he has lost 3 times this year), so I panicked the next day. I called every hour and emailed him and got no response...then this morning, I get a general text (which he probably sent to everyone else too) that he wont be answering his calls or emails until the 27th because of his job, which has given him immense stress and frustrations.

I was left hurt, feeling neglected and rejected. I wondered why he didn't contact me sooner to let me know instead of ignoring me for two days? But I understand his feelings of wanting to be left alone to work due to pressure. I'm like that too, so I didn't text him back. I want to give him the space he wants.

But it's disappointing...as I was expecting to spend Christmas Skyping with him...and seeing my sister's boyfriend hanging around the house these past days didn't help either. It only confirmed that I can't be with my SO - I couldn't even talk to him or see him.

It's hard...so very hard... I thought it was best to seek support, which is why I am here. I want to keep my sanity and make my relationship work.

So, hi everyone. I'm loving this site lots. It has been very helpful and comforting.

[SquishyLove]

I totally understand the longing and pain.

I totally miss my SO too. I came here today and registered as a member because of those same exact feelings.

I had lost contact with my SO two days ago. I noticed he wasn't texting me back like usual so I thought he lost his phone (which he has lost 3 times this year), so I panicked the next day. I called every hour and emailed him and got no response...then this morning, I get a general text (which he probably sent to everyone else too) that he wont be answering his calls or emails until the 27th because of his job, which has given him immense stress and frustrations.

I was left hurt, feeling neglected and rejected. I wondered why he didn't contact me sooner to let me know instead of ignoring me for two days? But I understand his feelings of wanting to be left alone to work due to pressure. I'm like that too, so I didn't text him back. I want to give him the space he wants.

But it's disappointing...as I was expecting to spend Christmas Skyping with him...and seeing my sister's boyfriend hanging around the house these past days didn't help either. It only confirmed that I can't be with my SO - I couldn't even talk to him or see him.

It's hard...so very hard... I thought it was best to seek support, which is why I am here. I want to keep my sanity and make my relationship work.

So, hi everyone. I'm loving this site lots. It has been very helpful and comforting.

I'm sorry to hear that your SO is refusing contact til after Christmas. Maybe he didn't mean to be insensitive to your needs, but maybe you should let him know the next time you talk that you weren't expecting that he'd be unreachable during the holiday and that you were disappointed because of it, and would have liked to know ahead of time that he'd be unavailable. Personally, my SO and I are always in contact so it seems odd to me when I see couples on here going days without contact (but I understand there are a lot of different situations dictating why these circumstances exist). If he's usually pretty good at communicating, he might have just not thought you would be disappointed, maybe he figured since you were with your family you'd be busy too. I advise talking to him about how it made you feel but don't be accusatory, just use "I" statements, like, "I feel disappointed that I didn't get to Skype with you on Christmas. Next time you will be unavailable for contact, I would appreciate you letting me know a few days in advance, or as soon as you know, so that I'll know what to expect." I find if you make the request about what you need and want from him, rather than focus on what he didn't do, it will be more effective. Don't backpedal, however...you want him to know that you didn't appreciate not being informed, as you are his girlfriend, who should be the first to know these things, but I think if you word it correctly you can let him know what you need from him next time without causing any negative conflict. Good luck, and try to still have a happy holiday! Focus on your family and have fun! And I hope things will work out for you! This is a good site to get support from others going through it!

Thanks again everyone for the kind words! I was Skype-ing with him today for several hours and I just started crying because I miss him so much, sobbing actually...and then after I got it out I felt better, then we had a cheerful chat the rest of the time before I had to leave to come over to my parents' house to hang out with my family tonight and tomorrow.

[MonandTue]

Thank you for your kind words. *hugs*

My SO is pretty good about communication and I think you may be right. For he responded to me yesterday after I decided to text him a holiday greeting. He apologized for not responding and that was all the text I got. He can be slow and after the fact kind of guy sometimes...

But I have told my SO what I have wanted from him many many many times. Since his job and lifestyle is constantly crazy, he always tells me he doesn't know when he becomes busy, it just happens. So the hardest part for me have been to be flexible, since I like consistency, but I've been trying to be understanding and flexible for this whole year, however, it has been so hard! But my SO tells me I've been getting better at it. I hope so too!

*sigh* It's so hard to keep the faith when his job and lifestyle prevents him from seeing me and sending me stuff. Like this year, he's only visited me once (for 4 days tho ), sent me two gifts (bday and Valentines..and he had plan to send me something for Christmas, saying if it arrives early, I shouldn't open it until Christmas, but there was no present in the mail). I had told him in advance that his present will be delayed.

But he's been good about texting me daily and Skyping on weekends he's free (which is like every other weekend) and usually we Skype for 6-7 hours. So I really appreciate that, seeing how crazy busy he is.

*more sigh* Insensitive is the word to describe him and forgetful too...and I have told him that I want him to be more sensitive and remember more and I can see him trying, but every time he becomes stress (like this week), he reverts back to being insensitive and forgetful. It's just so hard...

And it's even harder that I do not feel like I'm number one given his actions. He usually attends to me as soon as he finishes everything else (which makes sense, of course), however that makes me feel like I'm last on his list of things to do, but he says that I am indeed his number one priority so I'll take his word for it...*sigh* It's so hard...so hard

I'll occupy myself with hobbies. I usually have lots of them and I do pass the time quickly with them. And I have this site now, which I am so glad I've found.

I'm sorry to have ranted..but I needed to vent the frustration and pain.

Once again, thank you for your kind words.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

[dafred_masta]

Are you a member of visajourney.com? If not, join! It's been me and my man's #1 source of info during this process. It has TONS of guides on how to do everything, and a lot of members with very good advice as well!

Thank you! I havn't heard of that site but I am definitely looking it up right now
I'm sorry to hear that it's taking so long to process though... waiting and seeing other couple reunite is always frustrating :/ I envy other couples who both live in the same country. But when the love of your life live miles away, the wait will always be worth it <3

Good luck, and let me know how everything turns out! I'm very excited for you and you SO, you two will finally get to close the distance for good.