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Is this just part of the hardship in an LDR?

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    Is this just part of the hardship in an LDR?

    He doesn't hold a conversation with me. I try... and he pretty much shoots down any attempt I give.
    Here is an example of our conversation on a daily basis....

    Deklyn
    [12/21/2011 7:11:30 PM] Deklyn : Hi?
    [12/21/2011 7:12:27 PM] Sam ]: hi
    [12/21/2011 7:12:47 PM] Deklyn: what are you up to babe?
    [12/21/2011 7:17:34 PM] Sam : just listening to sick puppies
    [12/21/2011 7:17:42 PM] Deklyn : <3
    [12/21/2011 7:17:56 PM] Deklyn : Thats it?
    [12/21/2011 7:28:59 PM] Sam: <3
    [12/21/2011 7:28:03 PM] Sam : yea
    [12/21/2011 7:28:17 PM] Deklyn: >.>
    <.<
    Sounds like fun.
    [12/21/2011 7:42:50 PM] Sam : yep

    and if you check the time stamps.. it always takes him forever to reply. I've talked to him about it, told him how it makes me feel for him to take 10 mins to reply to me and how he doesn't seem to want to talk to me by giving me short replies and he says it's because he has friends over or is playing xbox, eating, sleeping.. but this is ALL the time. Couldn't he hold a decent conversation on with me sometimes? Also... he doesn't flirt with me anymore. Like... at all. i really like this guy.. a lot but this is getting old already. we've only been together for 2 weeks (as of today). How can i help? i don't want to break up with him... just want to talk, flirt, be a couple really. Any advice?
    Last edited by rcknmommy; December 22, 2011, 10:50 PM. Reason: took last names out

    #2
    After only 2 weeks? This is strange to me. Do you guys talk on the phone at all?

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      #3
      I'd say if he is like this after only two weeks he isn't interested in you anymore. You haven't invested that much into it yet, go find someone that actually seems interested. If you've talked about it and nothing is changed then it seems like a lost cause.

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        #4
        Ya no doubt! I agree with the posters above me, if after 2 weeks he has lost interest already then he is not worth your time energy and love! I would say move on or if you rely like him the you ignore him for a few days to see if he realizes what you are feeling and that he misses you as well, and if that does not help I would move on!

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          #5
          It seems strange to me too. I don't think he has very good communication skills. In an LDR you have to have conversations and talk a lot to keep the relationship going. It's not like in CD where you can just cuddle up together and watch TV, eat together, play xbox together, etc. It's up to you what to do in this situation, but I personally wouldn't waste my time with someone who didn't give me the time I deserve or wasn't responsive.

          From being in an off-again on-again CD relationship for 7 years with my ex who was only interested in showing affection to me when it suited him or was convenient for him, I finally learned that if it feels like you have to force things or force your partner to meet you halfway by meeting your needs in the relationship, it's never going to change.

          It's only been 2 weeks. You say you like him, not that you're in love with him. It doesn't sound like you've invested enough in this that it would be tragic to turn away. Someone who loves you and wants you will go out of their way, no matter how far away they are, to make you a priority. If he really wanted you, he would put time talking with you over xbox, tv, etc. and he would have real conversations with you. Maybe he does care for you but doesn't have the maturity to handle an LDR. Maybe he's strictly a CD person. This could also be the case. Either way, your needs aren't being met and it's making you unhappy, and talking to him about it has done nothing. A healthy relationship shouldn't feel pushed or forced, but rather flow naturally. Good luck!

          Comment


            #6
            I agree with all the above posters. I understand you like him, but sometimes its just not enough or he just doesn't feel the same, which I know is hard to hear. The only way for a LDR to work is communication, because it's basically all we have. It's hard to say what is really going on, but you deserve someone who wants to be with you and spend time with you and talk to you. You deserve to be treated better.

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              #7
              I agree with the others. There can be no LDR if there's no communication and it's a two way thing, not all on one side. Either he can't handle the commitment of an LDR or he's just not a good communicator and isn't interested.

              Comment


                #8
                I've had previous relationship like this. And to be honest, I didn't ended it because I thought it would change in the longer run. But pffft, it was a waste of time. I mean, I'm giving all my effort to make the relationship work and then the other guy just take it or granted.

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                  #9
                  I used to type like that to people I wasn't really interested in. Go find someone who will be happy to have a conversation with you.

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                    #10
                    You might want to talk to him about it. Not be confrontational, but just ask him about it. He may be busy or stressed or even depressed.
                    Ask him why he's being so distant and if things don't improve, then I agree with people here. Just try to remember there may be other explanations, as well.


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                      #11
                      I talked with him about it. He apologized and said that he would try harder and "be better for me" because he doesn't want to lose me. It's weird but he's the first guy I have ever been with that I don't want to just give up on. By now, in any other relationship of mine, I would've broken up with him. I don't want to lose this one. So far he's doing a lot better... were talking and flirting a bit. Honestly, I think he's just not that great at communicating. If you've read my last post, when we are on cam or mic.. he talks like crazy. So I think communicating online is a bit difficult for him. Hopefully it keeps getting better and we can get through this, I already can't imagine being with anyone else.

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                        #12
                        Well, I hope for the best for you either way!

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by snow_girl View Post
                          I'd say if he is like this after only two weeks he isn't interested in you anymore. You haven't invested that much into it yet, go find someone that actually seems interested. If you've talked about it and nothing is changed then it seems like a lost cause.
                          that.

                          if it was a one of for him to take so long to reply and seem just not ´quite there´, is understandable, we all have bad days. but all the time, and after such a short time together? nah. I wouldnt be able to stand it.


                          Originally posted by NaNi View Post
                          I used to type like that to people I wasn't really interested in. Go find someone who will be happy to have a conversation with you.

                          I did that too. polite, but showing without words i was just not that into the person i was talking.
                          our story.

                          sigpic

                          02.02.2012 - When we got married and closed the distance once and for all

                          "If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."

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                            #14

                            Thats unusual. Its been such a short time you should both be bubbly, trying to talk each other's head off. Its really early in the relationship and he's so distant. I dont think he's all that interested in trying to connect with you.

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