Holiday Sadness

[kj32005]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to the forum. Me and my BF of 4 1/2 years recently broke up over distance. I moved about 180 miles away for a new job last year and promised him I'd move back home (in Aug. 2012 when my 2-year contract is up). We've been arguing on and off for about 6 months and when we are together there's no love connection. He says the distance is too hard for him and that it feels like he doesn't have a girlfriend anymore. He says we're living two separate lives. I've tried everything I can think of to make it work, but after no luck, we mutually agreed to break up (after arguing over the phone). Now I miss him, and can't stop thinking about him. I mailed him a Christmas package and he hasn't responded. How do you get over a 4 1/2 year breakup?

[lucybelle]

Time. That's really it.

Best wishes.

[greensweatergirl]

*Hugs*

That's really crummy that things didn't work out when you've made it through more than a year apart already, and there was a set date to come home. That must be really hard.

I don't think there's a cure-all to getting over a break-up, but some things that I found helpful:

Filling each day and keeping busy, exercising, listening to music, finding a friend or family member to listen, cutting off contact until you've finished grieving, writing down things you're thinking and feeling, doing things to mark a pre-break up and post break up (rearranging the furniture, cutting your hair, starting a new hobby), and letting yourself have bad moments and not beating yourself up for them.

Again, *hugs*.

[floridaellen]

Time is the only thing that really heals.

I also find that exercising helps!

[Ms.Justine]

I'm sorry to hear this. Time heals all. I'm sorry for the cliche but it's the only thing. And because it was 4 1/2 years it will take longer. It'll be okay in the end.