Newbie looking for fellow LDR friends...

[VRose]

Hello, Everyone...

I've been in a LDR since august of this year... my bf moved to another country for 2 years to finish his college... this has been the hardest thing that I ever had to do in my life. I don't have any friends on whose shoulder I can cry or with whom I can talk about these things... I kinda found out how fake and backstabbing my previous friends are and I don't feel like getting close with other people any more. My bf on the other hand, keeps blaming himself for letting me and him go trough this, but it's all for the greater good. I don't want to demotivate him, I really love him and hell yeah he is worth the wait. I asked my parents if I could go to see him next year, but I can't 'cause... I'm not allowed to sleep at my bf's place and blablabla... so... He decided that he'd come home for vacation, but he's not sure yet. We chat everyday, when he's at his studentroom, we skype from the time he's back from college till the time he has to go again, yes we leave our skypes on while we sleep... we call it 'sleepover'. we use chat apps on our mobiles when we're at school and when he's visiting his family members there we use facebook messenger. But whenever we're not chatting I start crying and feeling empty inside.. it was his birthday last week, I sang to him he went to college and after that I cried the whole day... the whole weekend actually... being in a LDR is hard. I don't care about other guys, I don't want to be this far from my boyfriend it's killing me inside, but I won't tell him. I just want to be in a touchable distance from him other people who I talk with keep telling me that it won't work out, but I know we will.. we all will...

I just wanted to share this, so I wouldn't cry myself to sleep tonight...


GoodLuck with your LDR... if you got tips for me please share, thanks in advance (:

[anlgp]

keep busy when not talking to them is the best advice I can give

[chef.rae]

Just hang in there! Every day is a different one, some are harder than others. Maybe find an activity that you enjoy doing, and while he is away for a little bit it can give you something to talk to him about the next time you do. I usually read my book when my SO and i are not talking because he is busy. Movies are also good things to pass time.


We are here to listen and help in anyway we can.

[VRose]

thank you anlgp yeah I'm gonna look for something to keep myself busy (:

---------- Post added at 12:32 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:27 AM ----------

thank you chef.rae I tried watching movies, but my tears keep coming... I should probably start reading

[chef.rae]

Read and watch something thats cheerful. Don't dive into a romance novel or movie. Watch something funny

[VRose]

Lol, I forgot about all the comedies I saw :P thanks again (: #ImSoUncooltodayyy :$

[Brieasaurus]

Like chef.rae said, some days are definitely harder than others. You'll wake up and just miss him more than anything else in the world, but they're are other days where you're going to wake up and think "Man, I have the best SO ever and I love him and I love life and I'm ready to get this day going.". Hopefully, as you adjust to the change of having him gone and find other activities to spend your time on when you're not chatting with him, you'll have more happy days and less sad days. It's okay to have those sad days though.

Like you said, other people just don't understand. Being here has definitely helped me a lot, it reassures me that these relationships aren't as crazy as they seem and that they definitely do work. We get it though. My boyfriend and I don't miss a night of skype sleepovers, they're fun right? Not as fun as being next to him. Just think of all the goofy times you two have together and all the goofy times you'll have together in the future. No need to be a Debby downer.

[VRose]

that's sweet of you! thank you Briee goodluck with yourrrs

[Tabitha]

I'm not longer in an LDR, but had a successful one and we now live together.

The best piece of advice that I can give it to occupy your time. Do things that you love to do. Go out with friends, have fun, but make sure you make time for each other on a regular basis. It's hard, but if it's meant to be, it'll work out. Some days are easy. Some days are so painful, but it's worth it in the end.

[squirrelz15]

Everything has already pretty much been said, come here for support, there are a lot of wonderful people here. And welcome to LFAD

[VRose]

@Tabitha so lucky! I wish I had a time machine :P thank you for your reply yes I'm planning on keeping myself busy starting... 2012

[VRose]

@squirrelz15 thank you! yes it's true! I've been here for a few days and already found wonderful people and people who give me goood advice

sorry I'm still learning how to post in forums... haven't done this for 5 years Lol

I wish you all a happy new year!

[loveknowsnodistance27]

My biggest piece of advice would be to take each day one day at a time. I know about looking too far forward, because I do this all the time, but I'm working on it. When you take things one day at a time, you can focus on yourself and your own needs and the time apart seems more tolerable.

[VRose]

thank you all! thanks to you I've been living my life differently, I'm not that sad anymore... just when I really really really really need him close to me [you know what I mean]
I've gotten into new things, more stuff to do xD
I'm alone, but not lonely
I'm doing things for myself and it's going great. I hope other saddies can learn from this post!

xoxo

Vni...

[Bethypoo]

Hello and welcome.

I know someone said to keep busy when you are not talking and I think that is honestly the best advice. Don't hide from you friends and go out with them. Enjoy the time alone and just relax. Make a plan for when you will talk. I think that is also very important. Above all, communication. I know that in any relationship, you have to communicate but when you are miles and miles and in some cases oceans away from each other, it is more important. They cant see you and be there in person and hold you. You need to be very open with what you need and understand what he needs.

Communication is the most important thing.