Devastated.

[Sixx]

I feel horrible.

My SO and I were talking yesterday, and I still don't know how, the conversation lead me to even think about breaking up..
because in a way, it'd be best for both of us.. but then there are my feelings for him, and his feelings for me that make us keep going.
We didn't argue, but the fact that I feel so frustrated with everything in my life right now, made me make a mountain out of a molehill.

The distance is one of the main causes of my frustration, I mean, if we knew for sure that in x time we'd be together, everything would be "fine", but for us right now it has no end. I must admit that I'm a really impatient person.
But I try to do my best getting distracted with anything whenever I feel sad so I don't think too much about it.
He's coming here in a month, but after that we both know that we won't be able to see each other in a really long time..


When I talked to him about what was going on in my mind he got really sad, he was on cam and I saw the look on his face... it completely broke my heart, and if I ever thought about breaking up it'd be for his own sake, NOT to hurt him...

Before we went to sleep we kind of made up, but I don't know.. it's like I'm really confused. I've never cried so much in my entire life.. and it's been a week or so that I can't really sleep well, waking up a million times in the middle of the night.
And let's add that this afternoon I have my four final exams, pffff
He knows all this and I know it makes him worry so much, which makes me feel worse...


Any kind of advice is appreciated, thanks x

[Caitlin2009]

awww put i do have those feelings from time to time....but i know what triggers them and i wont let them get the best of me so i ignore them.....I dont know when i'll officially be with Denise either but knowing we eventually will live under the same roof keeps me going. You cant let distance and the fact that you dont know when your officially gonna be together stop you, I know you love each other with all your heart and i feel this is the man your meant to be with the rest of your life. Nobody really knows there future but if you know in your heart it will happen then you gotta hold onto that, in your case and many LDR cases certain things have to fall into place before anything big happens like that. I know about the impatiance thing trust me im often teased about it lol but you gotta try and be patient and know in the end it will all be worth it

[agentholli]

ahhh I hate those feelings! I use to get them all the time. I use to worry about all of it too. But for me, it was before I knew he loved me. Before when we were just friends i would think...this is never going to work out, he has kids and i can't ask him to just leave his kids for me...and then his kids started having some issues with their mom and I broke it off. I told him that it would be better if we just didn't talk, that way he can live his life, and I can live mine...because he was getting really depressed and upset because he wanted to be here with me, but he didn't want to leave his girls and so on.

It took us about 6 days to acutally finally say goodbye...i didn't feel right...i knew it was a mistake, but I didn't want to cause him so much pain in trying to decide what to do. We were seperated and not talking at all for 2 weeks. I could not stop thinking about him. I cried more without him, then I did with him. I wasn't sleeping or eating and I was praying asking God that if it was the right thing to let him go, then to help me stop thinking about him...but my feelings and my thoughts got stronger and more. So, I emailed him. Asked him how he was, and how his girls were and such, and he replied. I was sooooooo happy he replied. Then we emailed back and forth for a couple of days..and I was in my car and his song (To Be With You, David Archeluta) came on..and I just fell apart. So i had to call him.

I called him and we have talked everyday since. We worked out the feelings that I had, and now look at us..lol. i KNOW with all my heart that things do have to fall into place before they will work out. I keep telling Mark, that we have to learn something from this distance, before we will be able to be together. I have told him this for awhile. Well an event took place in my life, that is effecting my life horribly...and I believe this is what we had to learn before we could be togther.

I also understand what you mean about if you knew a time frame. I FEEL THE SAME WAY!!!! It is so hard not knowing when the visits will be, or when the distance will finally close, but my break up with Mark, it proved to me that I am meant to be with him. And this distance, is only going to make it THAT much SWEETER when it happens. You can't focus on all the negative things...that will get you no where.

Good luck, I hate feeling that way. I am sorry this is so long.

[kasia516]

I go through patches like that too. i think about breaking up and how hard the distance is, and i havent seen him for 8 months! so i understand what youre going through exactly. it is REALLY REALLY hard and its a struggle every single day because i miss him so much.
we dont know when we'll see each other again, probably late this summer, but it is hard because i dont know when it will be. i was supposed to see him in december, but it was really expensive and not enough time, so we didnt. i never expected to go 10 months without seeing him, if i had known that at the beginning it would have changed everything. but we've made it so far now, and we're so perfect for each other. eventually i remember that and he reassures me and i'm happy again for a few weeks/months until i hit a rough patch again. he never gets them, and it really helps that hes so strong.
ive thought about breaking up, since we're still young and should be carefree and flirting with other people and whatnot, but then we talk about it, and he makes me so happy. plus i know ill never find another boy like him.
for me, the feelings of breaking up eventually fade, usually with his help as he knows im sad and he tries to make me happy. if the feelings dont fade, then maybe you cant handle the distance and breaking up is the best option.
when youre feeling down, just remember why he makes you happy, i usually re read all the letters hes sent me and look at pictures of us

[BJL_Sweetheart1109]

Well you're just stressed out with everything else. And this is just an added stress. But you sound so in love and so happy with one another.....I really don't think breaking up would help anything. Sure there would not have the distance....but you wouldn't have him either. I tell the SO that even though the distance sucks and it's hard, I'd rather live away from him than without him! It's just one of those rough patches. We all have those where we miss the SO more than ever and it's just harder to cope with the distance....it happens, it's natural especially around this time of school!

I think you just need to explain to him that the distance is hard, but you cope with it. But when all the other stresses of life start getting to you....it makes dealing with the distance much harder. If you feel it would be best for you, I don't think you can deny that.....but I think it's just stress from everything else makes the distance harder to cope with. Just give it some time, a week or two. You'll be back to just not seeing your life without him!

Good luck with all this....and the exams

[Naori]

Funny thing.. I usually get really upset with relationship problems right before an exam...then i do bad because of it... so sad..

now.. yeah I get upset about the distances thing too.
But it seems that the horizon is near. Things are falling into place. I am planning to move soon.
Fought out 2 years of being apart and now that I am finished school and family problems put aside it seems possible now.
I think in situations like these patience is really essential. I mean we argued about the distance thing a lot. At first I was the optimistic one and he was the pessimistic one then... it became the opposite... and then back again. But then eventually now... it seems that it might work.


Plan and save and total commitment to one another ... If you have the latter, then I think it will work.

[Sixx]

I do hope it's only a rough patch and we'll be fine again in a few days or a week I hate hate HATE feeling like this, and also seeing him all sad because of my confusion..
even thought that, he doesn't want to give up and keeps reminding me how much he cares about me, which in part is helping.

Thank you sooo much everyone!!!!

[Semperfikindoflove]

Sometimes you will have that feeling. I don't have any end to my soon-to-be LDR because of college and him being in the Marines. My last two LDRs were with Marines as well and we didn't have any set date for it to end and sometimes it felt like the days dragged on, especially with my ex (who we were supposed to get married later this year but not live together) who was on deployment. You just need to have patience and don't take the visits and little things for granted. I know it seems like a lot right now but it could be a lot worse. You could not be able to talk to him at all or go for a long time without talking to him, that's what I think about every time I'm talking to my SO. It's important to remember that sometimes these kinds of hard times happen to us for a reason and they only make us stronger. It will hurt for a while but if you love him and he loves you then nothing can stop you two. No amount of time or distance will get in the way. Time is only a constraint you place on the relationship and distance is only as far as you make it out to be. Hold onto the hope that you two will make it work sometime soon. I wish you the best of luck.

If you need anything please message me.

[Molly]

If part of your reason for thinking about breaking up is honestly that you think it would be better for him then I think you should stop and ask yourself if you think it would be better for you if he broke up with you? At one point I told Derik that I thought maybe we should break up because I think I may things harder for him and he told me that was selfish and I realized he was right. It felt like a slap in the face at the time but when I thought about the prospect of him ending things because he thought it may be easier for me I realized that I would never want that. Anyway, not sure of that applies but I wish you luck.

[Hannah]

I recently had a falling out with Taylor very similar to this and oh god, I could not stop crying. I completely understand how you feel. We're almost a year and we've gotten to see each other once, and it's absolute torture. Especially since he'll be going into the Navy soon and I'll be going to college... arrrgh!
But we both love each other WAY too much to let it go. We've decided it's better to fight and suffer through it together than be miserable alone. Keep fighting! I know sometimes it seems absolutely fruitless but you have to remember that love! Best of luck to you two. (:

[Mio]

Just think about how wonderful is when you are together, sometimes we just feel so bad with the distance and we see no end, but you know there will be an end to the distance. Best wishes girl!