Just sorting my thoughts out.

[ushiwakafox]

Ok...I hate being the jealous type, I really do. Usually I can pretty much just ignore it and be done with it before my SO even realizes anything. I've never really had a reason to be jealous over other women, since he doesn't even know anyone else beside's our married best friend. But lately ever since this girl he knew in high school came back to town for a visit with her family (who lives in my SOs neighborhood), I've been getting jealous over her, as much as I hate to admit.

So the back story is we all went to the same high school. The only thing I really know about this girl is her name, and enough indirect interaction with her to know her general character. She's a huge tomboy. I had never given any thought about her until now. My SO and her knew each other and hung out a bit in the past, but it seems like when we started dating, she slowly stopped coming over to him to say hi and talk. So because of that, and how much she likes to smack him around, I'm sure she probably was interested in him. Which I never cared about, because I was there in person as like a physical reminder to her or whatever.

So the topic at hand, my SO and her and one of our good friends hung out together at my SO's place. They all hung out about a week ago too, which I got jealous of again, but got over it by the end of the day. I'm not at all intimidated by this girl, and I have nothing but the highest trust in my SO. I guess the only thing that can make me jealous is the fact that I don't know this girl. I don't know what she's about. She doesn't seem to be the type to be a "wrecker", but I can never know for sure.

I feel really ridiculous for being jealous. It's not like a hot "omg he's gonna get an earful" anger or anything, but it's just enough for me to be venting about it on a forum lol. I feel like my jealousy would be a bit more justified if the LD was permanent like it was before. But I'm only away for vacation. I'll be home in a week, and
I'll have only been gone for about 3 weeks.

I really hate that this bothers me. I really don't like getting jealous. Luckily I can usually control it, as long as I write down my thoughts somehow.

Anyone else been in a similar situation??

[efish1042]

I think this is a natural reaction, tho. You're not threatened, you trust your SO, but you don't trust her. Also, I think you may be jealous that she is there and you aren't. I think it will be better when you get back. I would recommend talking about it to your SO, just to vent and get his perspective and reassurances and maybe some more info on her.
Jealousy has never really come up with us before, but I do understand to a point. I'm a little jealous of my SO's brother's gf (he lives with his brother), but just because she is there all the time and I'm not. I am sooo not threatened by her, but I don't know her well and I'm jealous that her situation with the brother is so much easier than my SO's and I. When I feel really vindictive, I wish our situations were reversed, but I can't truly wish that on them...

[ushiwakafox]

I think you may be jealous that she is there and you aren't. I think it will be better when you get back.

That's pretty much what it is. I still feel ridiculous because I haven't been gone long and I'll be back very soon, but I guess to an extant I can't really help how I feel. I'm sure it'll be just fine when I get back. And to be honest I'll probably not even care by tomorrow.
I think it irritated me also that my SO didn't bother to even tell me that they're all hanging out today. He's the type where you have to get very specific with him, that's just how he is.
I've somewhat talked to him about it before, just to get some friendly venting out. But in the past I was so naggy about everything, and every little thing that irked me I rose hell. Now that I'm progressing and have had a healthy mental state for a few months, I don't want to bother him with something that I can handle on my own. It's an independence thing as well I guess lol.
Sorry for the long reply! I have a tendency to write mini novels XD

[ushiwakafox]

So I ended up telling him anyway XD. He didn't quite understand where my uneasiness about her is coming from, but I think he got the main idea. He's never been the jealous type so it's hard for him to understand. But he made great effort to, and he didn't give me a hard time about it.
He thought it was cute that I was jealous of her getting to spend time with him XD. Well I'd rather he be amused than irritated.

[Rugger]

I get this a lot. It's not over the gender of the person, but over that person getting to spend more time with my SO. Normally I keep it to myself because just like with you, I talk to someone and it passes.

[SDPersona]

I get this too. My very good friend flew on Christmas Eve to SA to be with a man she had feelings for. My boyfriend wouldn't be there as he would be with family on a camp. Unfortunately, plans changed and he's now at home nursing an injury and he's been spending time with her since the day before. I have huge trust in my boyfriend AND in my friend who's not the type to be a wrecker, but I'm still jealous that she gets to spend time with him! They both know and understand and we just make fun of it to make it pass and make me feel better at the same time. I'd say this is normal in any relationship, especially in a LDR. As long it doesn't become a problem by way of starting fights over it and whatever.

[ushiwakafox]

I'm relieved to see I'm not the only one lol.
And actually now that it's mentioned, I do tend to get slightly jealous over anyone spending time with him.