can love trump all things??

[mant12]

Thank you all for the replies and the advice! i really do appreciate the time and effort you all spent in making such detailed responses.

i feel that i have a lot to think about and i will take into account all your posts...

sorry it took so long to post back but its been a long exhaustive flight getting into sydney both physically and mentally!! although we did say we would break up i feel that there is still more to come for this relationship... i will finish my degree by mid year and then hopefully i can get back to the states asap.

and Sora1101 i apologise if it came across like i hated the states. That is not true. I enjoyed it thoroughly and all the people i encountered were so terribly nice to me. However i got incredibly homesick and missed my family a lot. it had nothing to do with the states, it is just my life back in australia that I'm having trouble turning my back on...

[Sora1101]

Well then maybe you should discuss having your SO move to Aussie with you instead, or at least have a trial period in both places to see if you can learn to get used to the states or if your SO can get used to Aussie.

[FadedSunrise]

Man am I ever in the same boat.

I was the exchange student to his city-Beijing, China. I left before we decided to make it a relationship, the day after the most magical first date and first kiss I could have...never imagined. He decided he wanted to ask me to be his girlfriend about a month after I got back. I decided to tell my parents and hoped they'd share my joy. They threatened to disown me and forebade me from contacting him. I never listened of course, and now I have a secret questionable status long distance relationship across 7000 miles of the Pacific.

I have no advice for you, because my situation is probably even worse and I have even less answers. He is not sure he will move to me, but I am sure I cannot move back to China. My parents immigrated here with me when I was 8, and gave me a good American education with plenty of opportunities. To move back permanently would be to spit in their faces, which is right up there with murdering for my conscience. Also, my future legal career-I've applied to law schools and am waiting to hear back, won't really be very...international in nature. He is not sure because he can't speak carry a basic conversation in English at all yet, and of course because immigration is a lot to ask of anyone. However, because he is working in athletic training/has a background in sports medicine his career is very transferrable and not country specific.

Our relationship is only 10 months now but this question haunts me also because I don't want to waste his time as he is of the age to get married in China, if this relationship we're in is on a dead end road.

[Moon]

Thank you all for the replies and the advice! i really do appreciate the time and effort you all spent in making such detailed responses.

i feel that i have a lot to think about and i will take into account all your posts...

sorry it took so long to post back but its been a long exhaustive flight getting into sydney both physically and mentally!! although we did say we would break up i feel that there is still more to come for this relationship... i will finish my degree by mid year and then hopefully i can get back to the states asap.

and Sora1101 i apologise if it came across like i hated the states. That is not true. I enjoyed it thoroughly and all the people i encountered were so terribly nice to me. However i got incredibly homesick and missed my family a lot. it had nothing to do with the states, it is just my life back in australia that I'm having trouble turning my back on...

Nope, love doesn't trump everything, it would be nice if it did

You can maintain an LDR for an extended period though, if you're both strong enough. Your profile says you're only 23, so it might just be that you simply aren't ready for such a huge move yet, but given some time, that could change. Same for her. Aussie/US relationships are hard because it's such a long distance and visits are so expensive, but people have been successful in making them work.

If you really feel like she's the love of your life, and you think you're strong enough to go the distance, then maybe give it some more thought before making any permanent decisions. It might work and it might not, but that's the same as in any relationship. Good luck!

[Bethypoo]

As much as it hurts to say, love cannot conquer all. We do not live in a fairy tale land. If it is meant to be then it will. But if now, neither of you can see yourself moving even though you love each other, then i think you are in fact making the right decision.

Im sorry.