"Why are you in a long distance relationship?"

[Babypuppy21]

I think people who I’ve just met may be genuinely interested and in that case I’ll answer them with the following or something similar: It’s not a matter of how it’s the why, we’re both committed to each other and don’t feel like we should let something silly like distance keep us ‘apart’. Mentioning keeping in touch and always talking..and as regards the cheating..I can’t predict the future but I trust him with my heart..and that’s all I can do.
As for the ‘haters’ it’s normally a smart comment of sorts that I think about on the spot. Lol!

[marbear31]

This sort of thing has really been bugging me lately, actually, so it's great to hear from others about the same thing! I'm working on not "apologizing" for being in an LDR, because why should I compromise my long-term happiness for immediate gratification? I'm with someone who loves me for me, who treats me like a queen, and who I would do absolutely anything under the sun for. You don't come across that too often. Yeah, we both screw up, but we're human, and we love each other for who we are, faults and all.

I wouldn't give that up for anything.

Plus, he's got an Irish accent. Tell me that's not worth waiting around for! :P

[Bethypoo]

I am lucky and haven't really run into this. Our relationship was hush hush for the first 4-ish months. And once i told my family and how we knew each other and such, it wasnt that big of a deal. Some people on campus who are in CD relationships have asked, but again it isnt that big of a deal and its not like most people in school that i talk to i really care about their opinion. So you just need to do what works best for you.

As for the questions:
How do you do it?
I do it because it is someone that I want to be with and that i want to spend time with. LDR are different that CD but they are at the same time they are the same. It is a relationship that you have to work on and that takes two people. I do it because I want to be with him. I see myself with him.

Is it hard?
Yea. All relationships are. LDRs are hard, again in a different way, but again they breed a whole new type of relationship. There is a whole new level of trust that you have to build and you get to know each other in a different way.

What if he cheats?
The same thing as if he cheats in a CD. You leave him. It is hard on both of you and it takes work from both of you and you both need to be in it and respectful of each other. No excuses and no exceptions.

[HollzHeartsChris]

I just used to turn round and say "Well I love him. That's the reason why." If people didn't understand that was their lookout not mine

[efish1042]

Our relationship was hush hush for the first 4-ish months.

We were hush-hush for about 6 months. When we came out, sadly it was kind of a big deal -but not as bad as we'd feared.

Why? -because I can't imagine being without him
How? -lots and lots communication, compromise, and laughs
Is it hard? - oh hell yeah! but it's so worth it
What if he cheats? -depends on the situation, I guess... I believe a good relationship can survive infidelity

Fortunately I've not had to deal with this much. I think some people secretly think we are doomed and just don't want to "break it to me", but I don't care what they think as long as they stay out of our business.
He had an acquaintance give him crap about it and try to hook him up with a girl, but when my SO flashed the girl his claddagh ring, all the girls thought his friend was a d-bag... which he is. But it was funny, since he was looking to "get some" also.
Other than that, our biggest problem has been our parents. His want him to date someone closer, more his age, blah, blah, blah everything I'm not. My dad is a stubborn jerk that is holding a grudge over nothing. We just tell them to get over it (respectfully). They've backed off.

[Alemap]

I always just use the line, "Because I'd rather be across the ocean from him than across the table from anyone else."

"How do we do it?" By keeping each other in our hearts, while chatting when we can - even if if that's only once every couple of weeks - and emailing whenever we have something to say, and by looking forward to the next time we'll see each other (in six months).

"Is it hard?" I think I'll be in the minority here, but - no. I haven't found it hard, yet, but we've only been apart for a couple of months. I think it helps that I have a really busy, full life, and am super emotionally independent. Obviously, I'd rather he was here to kiss and snoodle, but the fact that he isn't I am finding easy enough to deal with.

"What if he cheats?" We've agreed on mutual "don't ask, don't tell" non-monogamy (though we're not allowed to date anyone else), and I am completely unafraid of what he does with his willy while we're apart, as long as he's safe about it, and confines its activities to me when we're together.

P.

[EmGem13]

I have had the same questions as you all the time!!

My reply is: You know it is hard and painful not seeing him as much as I would like, but I am one of the lucky ones. I still get to talk to him and occasionally see him. I know that him and I are very close and we have 100% of trust in our relationship.

You know before we were dating we still had a connection and our trust has done nothing but grow. That meaning the cheating part is not happening. I know that IF and I know it ISN'T happening but if he had cheated on me then he would tell me. And I don't know what my reply would be to that. But I don't have to worry about that so it doesn't matter.

I also tell them that he is my best friend and I love him with all my heart. I know he has the same feelings for me. We have done nothing but grow in our relationship in every way possilbe.

My friends have came to terms with it they are always supportive because they no that he means the world to me and we are a match made in heaven.

There are always going to be struggles and tears cause your not with him.. But I always think of this quote and it helps me.
"Distance never really seperates two hearts that care for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself of how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss."

EmGem13

[especially in michigan]

I'm a freshman in college, and I get asked these questions literally every day. And sometimes it bothers me, because it reminds me that he isn't here to share everything with me anymore, but the answers always help: Because I'm in love with him. A long-distance relationship is almost easier for me than a close one. I have time to myself, and the feeling of that first kiss after so much time apart is indescribable. Sure, there's always that fear that some girl's going to take him away from me, but then I think about what we have and how I feel when we spend time together and when we talk, and I realize that it's impossible. He loves me, and I love him. We love each other for everything we are, and the 816 miles separating us can't change that; only we can.

[carolynred]

"Why?" - He treats me the way a girl should be treated. I have never been this happy, why would I want to give up on something I have been waiting for? We love each other more than the distance in between us.

"How?" - Lots and lots of texting and calling. A few Skype dates here and there, and we cherish the moments when I come home to see him. Every little bit makes it feel like he's really not that far away.

"Is it hard?" - Yes and no. Strangely enough we have been doing just fine with the distance. We never feel affected by it to where it hurts our relationship. It becomes hard when we make it that way. Constantly missing him and wishing he was here, while its natural for me to think, it makes me sad to not have him right next to me. That's when it becomes hard, but its always manageable.

"What if he cheats?" - He won't. Why? Because he's been cheated on and knows what it feels like. Being cheated on my his first two girlfriends made him very loyal. Plus his mom said she would kill him if he ever cheated. xD

I don't know if he gets asked about LDRs, but when I do I just tell people he makes me so happy that the miles between us don't matter. And that I love him of course

[Leigh]

I haven't been asked but would say because we love, trust, and don't want to be with anyone else.

[Aaron]

Because the girl I'm sure I was meant to be with, my best friend, the person who understands me better than anyone, the person who gives me that strength to get out of bed in the morning, who has the same humour as me, makes me smile, picks me up when I feel like everything is terrible... She just happens to live over the other side of the world. Distance to us is just a number. If she lived next door or across town, I would still love her.