Loss of sexual appetite?

[sweetshay]

The only time sex was a problem in our relationship was in the beginning when I was the one who shied away from it, and our only option for sex is via skype. It seems as though my boyfriend has lost his desire to do anything sexual any more. There's been a couple reasons he says that is why he doesn't want to anymore, which includes him taking medication that might botch his sex drive, and him simply being bored with skype sex, we've already met in person before and he just wishes he had the real thing. This just makes me feel awful because we can't have the real thing right now.

On the other hand I still find skype sex enjoyable, so i'm more or less sexually frustrated. I feel unsure of our relationship and am always thinking "what if's?" I feel unsure of myself, wondering what i'm doing wrong or if he isn't attracted to me anymore. I've backed off from issue and stopped trying to talk to him about it because it's almost as if he doesn't care that we have no sex life now, it doesn't phase him.

I just wish I could have some light shed on what's really going on.

[killerkaytee]

Look into the medicine he's taking because meds can really KILL sex drive. I took a medicine back over the summer that made me so tired and killed my sex drive. Went off it and it came back and things were normal again. Went on birth control in November and that killed it again! So I'm getting off that too. My advice is to be understanding if it's because of his medicine and show him you still love him even if things are different for the time being. I could tell it was hard for my boyfriend because we were used to having it a lot on skype and the phone and then suddenly I never wanted to do it anymore but he helped me through it and reassured me it was just the medicine. Maybe he can try to get off the medicine or switch to something else?

[11MikesGirl21]

I know my drive slows down ALOT when we're apart; almost non-existant, which is odd for me because I usually am ready to go at the drop of a hat. His is always ready regardless of distance--but he's also a 20 year old male. I know for me personally, I get nothing from skype sex. (The way we do it only my camera is on...because frankly--watching him 1) cuts out his internet if both cameras are on and 2) watching him really does nothing for me) I do it to make him happy. I know he enjoys it and I'm not going to complain because it does feel good, but if he didn't ask for it and "get me going" it wouldn't happen, except for maybe one or two days a month-but that's not the norm at all. I prefer the real thing, no doubt about it.

So your ideas about what could be causing it are completely valid and you should probably look into them. My SO got frustrated with me one time--kind of in the same position you're in now--he asked what was up and I just told him straight up how I felt once we got that understanding things went a little better, when we were together and apart.

[sweetshay]

kaytee - I confirmed which medicine he was taking last night and it's called Citalopram, which is actually an anxiety pill and I did look it up and saw that decreased sexual appetite is a side effect. He has talked to a doctor about it but I don't think theres anything else he could take that won't interfere with other medications he's on.

MikesGirl - I suppose this is just something that ill need to go back to my old self on, I just don't want that to happen because I was much like you and only did anything sexual for his enjoyment. We barely did skype sex back then and it bothered him to the point were he would warn me that he might not stay faithful. Now we've switched shoes except im not worried about staying faithful i'm just worried about the future of our relationship.