Possibly moving back in with his parents

[sjaneec5]

My SO currently lives with a roommate but says he can't stand him nor can he afford a place on his own so he is thinking about moving back in with his parents. The perk would be he would have more money and potentially be able to visit me more but his mom would be totally against us staying together so I would either have to get a hotel alone or get one with him and disappoint his mom. I haven't met her yet and I just don't wanna do anything to make her not like me.

Have any of you ever had to deal with any thing like this? If so what was your solution?

[snow_girl]

How old are you both? I think moving back home might be a good move for him. When it comes to visits, I don't think it would be disrespectful to his mother if you both stayed in a hotel, It would be one thing if it was in her house but if you both are of age then I think staying in a hotel is something she'll just have to deal with.

[Jazi]

I feel your pain. My SO is still living with his parents, he's 20 and not on a very high wage because he is in a junior position in his job. His sister also lives at home.. she's 27, has never had a job and has no intention to forward her life.. but that's another story !

basically my SO's family have some messed up dynamics and views that I will never be able to understand. They can't be honest with their opinions on me and whatnot.. anyway, the point is that they have set a "2 week maximum" for me staying in their home. I stayed in their home previously for 4 weeks and there didn't seem to be a problem, obviously there was lol..... So me and my SO are staying at his home (the family home) for a week, a hotel for 2.5 weeks and then at his home again for a week...

a 2 week maximum would be fair enough if we were in a different situation but I feel like they aren't really seeing the bigger picture.. Australia - England with a $2,000 flight and me having the ability to take as much leave-without-pay from work as i need makes 2 weeks completely unreasonable... Sigh at future inlaws.

addition - my parents have offered for him to move in (I live with my family too) and are completely in love with my SO. Its really hard when people won't accept you especially when you're from a very accepting family background.

Goodluck with his mum..

[Bethypoo]

It really shouldn't matter what she thinks if you are both adults and are paying for you own hotel room. I understand her maybe not wanting you to stay in the house. My dad loves my SO who is 24 ( I am 22) but he is old fashioned and wont let chris stay over. When chris and I get hotels for anniversaries or birthdays you can tell it makes him uncomfortable (He is my dad, i will always be is baby girl) but he isnt paying for it and therefore doesnt say anything. So i am pretty sure that his mom can get over it.

Just take it a step at a time and dont look at the downside yet. Like you said, he will have more money by living with his parents. Utilize that.

[sjaneec5]

I'm 21 and he is 27. It's not like we're underage and have to ask permission or anything. It's just that my mom is the same way as his mom and I know she would be really upset if she knew we stayed together so I don't want her to hate me.

[ChibiFelicia]

My SO and i went through this the first time i went to the states. Kinda was like that when he came to visit me the first 2 times. I have my own place though and my parents are pretty old fashioned and being chinese they really did not like the idea of me living with someone (and actually having a sexual relationship before marriage). I was 24 at the time and he was 30. I just told my mum and dad that he's staying for 6 weeks, i didnt even ask. Its my place so i was just letting them know. His mother on the otherhand was a bit wary that a chinese girl would let him stay, she was worried my parents would not like my SO for doing that. He wanted to stay in a hotel but i dont even live with my parents so i was like...eh no way lol.

Going to the states though was a different matter. He was crashing at his aunts place (long story) and his aunt was not comfortable with me staying there. Understandable really since she didnt even know me. We just went to a hotel for about 3-4 weeks then we got an apartment together. He's now living there on his own. Money is tight though but i really do not want to live with his family, not because we dont like each other, but because i've had the over bearing parents and his are too and i've politely told him that i dont want or need that. He agrees so it's all good.

I guess im jsut agreeing with everyone else that since you are both of age, both of your parents will jsut have to deal with it. And if it aint your house they you have to live by their rules under their roof.

[13000km]

My boyfriend lived with his sister for 2 years and recently moved out because she's having a baby (due anytime in the next two weeks!), and I'm living with his mom. We pay rent but it's a lot lower than what he is paying living with room mates now. So, money-wise moving back in with his parents could be a good idea.