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Advice on how to deal with disappointment when plans change...

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    Advice on how to deal with disappointment when plans change...

    Well, I was supposed to be seeing my SO tomorrow night. Long story short, his new job is requiring him to work on Saturday and fly out on Monday. This means he can't visit, and as a result, I'm feeling very, very disappointed.

    Like many of you, I literally count down the days until I will be seeing him next. Sometimes, the best part of my day is knowing I'm one day closer to being in his arms. Now we will be waiting at least two more weeks before we see each other.

    How do you all deal with disappointment related to delayed visits? I'm struggling because what got me through this week was anticipating seeing him, making plans for the weekend, cleaning, grocery shopping so I could cook gourmet meals for him, etc. I'm realistic, and I understand that his plans have simply changed due to work. I'm fine with that, and I'm not freaking out or crying hysterically. But, I am just feeling so down, sad, and hopeless inside. I'm feeling a little beat down and worn out with the chaos that my SO and I have been through as of late - moves, new jobs, gets this job which involves travel, moves again.

    I'd appreciate any advice y'all can share on how to deal with changing plans and postponing visits from your SO.

    #2
    Go read your fav books, listen to song that makes you want to sing along with it, call a friend, do something, even if it is doing nothing together. start a new countdown, go to the hairstylist and treat yourself to something
    our story.

    sigpic

    02.02.2012 - When we got married and closed the distance once and for all

    "If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."

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      #3
      I know you hate having to wait 2 weeks to see him but in fact that's such a relatively period of time! I'd love to see my fiancee in 2 weeks. I don't know when I'm going to see him again.

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        #4
        Count yourself lucky that at least you know you'll see him again in 2 weeks. I've been feeling down because I don't know when I'll be seeing my SO again and that to me is a let down. It's had me down since this semester started. I saw him last Friday before I left but already I feel like I haven't seen him in weeks. It kills me inside especially because we're both low on cash so neither of us know when we'll be for sure able to visit. So I don't have a countdown to make...I've been feeling really hopeless all week. 2 weeks will come and go in a snap! Keep yourself busy though. :P

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          #5
          I just think you need to focus on the positives. It's only two more weeks now until you can see him again. That time will fly by if you keep yourself busy. There's a possibility that I won't see my SO for another 6 months.

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            #6
            Yes, focus on the positives, but I know the disappointment sucks, and two weeks seems like forever when you miss them. Keep busy, do your favorite things, the time will go by before you know it.

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              #7
              I discovered very quickly that I don't handle disappointment well. I don't handle suspense well either, but it is easier for me than disappointment. Therefore, I try not to get my hopes up until things are concrete. Sounds like this was pretty concrete until just now tho. I'm really sorry. I get like you do. I recommend reading, staying busy, looking forward to when you do see him, knowing its not too far away. I always feel better knowing when I will see him, even as I hate getting my hopes up in case things fall through.


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                #8
                Ugh I went through something similar. I was supposed to be in Norway by last fall. I'm still here. Def stay positive or it can hurt your relationship.
                “But now, I know, how absence can be present, like a damaged nerve, like a dark bird.”

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                  #9
                  Thanks everyone for your support. I'm feeling slightly better after a good night's sleep. And right after I posted, I felt bad because I know I am going to see my SO before many of you will, and the gaps in time between visits are shorter for me than most of you, too.

                  It will either be 2 weeks or 1 month before I see him again depending on his work travel. His schedule has gotten so crazy and unpredictable. He doesn't even find out his travel itinerary until approximately 2 days before he flies out.

                  I decided I'm going to keep myself busy this weekend, like you guys suggested, to help with the disappointment. Today, I'm going to go shopping after class (retail therapy!). I have to do a bunch of studying this weekend, but I also want to get started coming up with Valentine's gift ideas and maybe start making him something, too (I love making him little gifts!). He also suggested that we Skype (long story, but his computer sucks terribly and we very rarely skype, so it's very exciting if we do). I also want to do laundry. Like my SO, most of my friends have graduated and moved away from the small city where I live to one of the 2 large cities in my state. So, it's lonely, but I will keep it positive and do what I can to stay busy!

                  Again, thank you guys. I'm new at this LDR thing, so I appreciate and take your advice to heart more than you can imagine. Hugs!

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