Negativity

[sagittariusgirl89]

So, for those of us who do see our SO's once a month or so...do you guys focus on the negatives rather than the positives?

I don't know about any of you, but lately Ive been stressed out with shit that is going on at home and my feelings. As silly as it sounds, I cant look forward to seeing my BF on Wednesday b/c I have to do a speech on Tuesday night at 5:30. Im so nervous. My boyfriend will be working so I cant talk to him before or after the speech...idk....

Write back if you're stressed out and its causing your relationship to crumble.

[Zephii]

It's hard not to let real life stress interfere with the relationship, sometimes as much as you love your SO you just have other things going on. That's perfectly ok.
Perhaps you can get him to write you an email of encouragement that you can read just before you're due to give the speech? It's not the same, but it might help. Just remember that even when you don't have contact he still loves and supports you and wants you to do well. I'm sure you'll look forward to seeing him when relief of getting past the speech hits you.

[ntenzer]

My SO is in St. Maarten in Med School and lately I've been transformed into an EXTREMELY jealous girlfriend. He's been telling me that I need to let him have his experiences and just understand that he's mine and he loves me and only me, but all I've been thinking is of the negatives lately :\ Before he left, we were still LD, but I never thought of these things before. Ugh, I guess it comes with the extra distance!

[ntenzer]

It's hard not to let real life stress interfere with the relationship, sometimes as much as you love your SO you just have other things going on. That's perfectly ok.
Perhaps you can get him to write you an email of encouragement that you can read just before you're due to give the speech? It's not the same, but it might help. Just remember that even when you don't have contact he still loves and supports you and wants you to do well. I'm sure you'll look forward to seeing him when relief of getting past the speech hits you.

I agree!! Maybe have him email or text you before your speech, to ease your nerves

[sagittariusgirl89]

Thanks guys! I never thought of the whole email thing...Ill mention it to him. Ive been so stressed and not feeling like myself. So sad and crying all the time. My back is messed up today, I think I pulled a muscle...and i just want my bf...

[ntenzer]

Aww, Wednesdays not too far away! Even thinking about the fact the day after your speech you get to be with him again may make it easier.

As for your back, I have so many back problems (been in two car accidents in 6 months). Try icing it. IcyHot patches work great

[Sixx]

I was feeling exactly like you a few days ago (I even posted a thread on here), and now I'm sure it was because of the stress.
Relax!!!

As people already said, have him text you or call you so you can have this kind of support for your speech, and the next day, you have him there with you!
Enjoy your time with him and good luck!

[xsomanymilesx]

i have been stressed this past month and it put a lot of strain on us. were good now but i hate it when it happens
also... think of it this way.. after the speech thing you will be so happy its over and so happy you are seeing him
you might feel crappy now but tuesday night you will feel sooo good!
good luck w/it

[sagittariusgirl89]

Thanks everyone. I know I'll feel 1000000000% better by tomorrow night. Its just the fear of the unknown. I feel like Im not as prepared as my last speech...but Im just gonna do it tomorrow.

[kaylaburgett]

It's normal to have off days, even weeks.My boyfriend and I just came out of an off week. He's stressed and confused and doubting his judgement in his life and needless to say it does transfer to our relationship. That combined with me not seeing him for a few weeks and not having a job and other friends put strain on our relationship but after talking with him about it and he talking to me, and after seeing each other this weekend it made everything a lot better, it made it worth the work. <3

[Semperfikindoflove]

Being stressed out really can cause your relationship to crumble that's why you have to separate relationships and outside issues or the pressure will start to wear on your SO as well. It's hard to be so far away from someone and not have the comforts of seeing them every day to get your mind off things but you have to just keep pushing through. Think about the things you plan to do with them. When it comes to speeches I think "wow in less than 6 hours I'll be doing this or that" and when it comes time for me to do it I think "get through this and I'm in the homestretch for the day". You have to think about it in a positive light. Sometimes focusing on the negatives will lead you straight to disaster. Relationships are about looking for a positive. I'm in a relationship course where we study marriages, marriage styles, relationships, and relationship styles. For every negative thing you say you are supposed to say 5 positives things so that's a 5 to 1 ratio and relationships that didn't work out had a .8 to 1 ratio for every negative comment. It's important to remember that keeping your head and spirits up will do wonders for the both of you. Things are only as hard as you make them seem.

[Mio]

We wouldn't see each other too often, so no advice on that! But hope your stress levels come down!