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**snow_girl** · January 17, 2012, 10:00 AM

I think only you can answer that question. How much do you love him and how long are you willing to wait to close the distance? Everyone is different. I believe one person here has been in an LDR for almost 10 years, I personally don't know that I would be able to go that long but for them they are willing to wait. So each person is different, its up to you how long you are willing to go.

**Engel** · January 17, 2012, 10:05 AM

for us... we closed the distance one year in our relationship, spent one year together, i had to go to brazil for 3 months, returned to germany for 4 months, went o brazil for 3 more months (visa issues) and i went back in december, we will get married at the second of february, just a few days after our third year anniversary. so for us, to close the distance for good, it took 3 years.

**Madge** · January 17, 2012, 10:13 AM

My SO and I will have been together for 3 years and a half years before we close the distance officially. So end of this year YAY

To be honest, I never wanted to be in a LDR in the first place (who does really?) but somehow over the past couple of years I have gone along with it. I did stress to my SO that I wanted to close the distance as soon as I graduate. I don't think I can go past 4 years as it is quite expensive traveling back and forth all the time.

Pretty much what snow_girl said. Every couple is different it just depend on how long you can cope with being apart.

**kiara_silver** · January 17, 2012, 10:13 AM

We been together 2 and a half years, and haven't closed the distance, it will still be another year, maybe 2 before we have our closing the distance plans worked out. Like snow_girl said, it depends on the couple. I know if I had to I could wait, but i don't know if I want to. It's hard, and those who have made it 10 years LDR, you guys are so strong!

**loveknowsnodistance27** · January 17, 2012, 10:15 AM

That question is different for each couple. My SO and I were together 2 weeks before he left to go to college 360 miles away. We are still living in the same state, but he is 7 hours away and we only get to see each other when he comes home for breaks or if I go visit him. We were long distance for 9 months, then he came home for 3 months over the summer and we've been long distance again since he went back. So, we've been long distance 14 months out of 17 months together. We're looking to close the distance hopefully in a little over a year and a half, if all goes to plan. For me, I'd like to say that I could go as long as it takes, whatever the time frame, to close the distance, but in reality I can't do this forever. By the time we are looking to close the distance, we'll be together a little over 3 years. I'd say that's probably the maximum amount of time I'd like to be LD for. If circumstances surrounding my current education cause me to delay moving up there, so be it. Then, we'll just keep on trucking through the distance until I can move there. Realistically though, 3 years sounds like a good maximum for me. Originally we were looking at being apart 5 years, but due to changes in my academic plan, we cut the time apart in half by 2 years!

**ChibiFelicia** · January 17, 2012, 11:18 AM

Agreeing with what has been said above, we all will give different answers.

For me, i've been with my SO in an international LDR for 2 and a half years. We wont be closing the distance for another 2 years (most probably in a year an half cause we're starting the visa process in summer but i'll give it around 2 years). So i'd say we'd have been in an LDR for nearly 5 years before we close the distance...sounds a little too long for me but i'd wait. I dont want to regret or change my plans jsut to be with him (took me a long time to be ok with that idea) but it's what's best for me and him as a couple.

I actually asked him the same exact question that you're asking now. His response "5, 10, 15 years.. i will wait however long because you're my woman now"...my response "lol what the hell babe??!"

**Sierra** · January 17, 2012, 11:53 AM

I REALLY think this matters on the couple and their circumstances at the time. For me, entering into this relationship, my boyfriend and I agreed that we would only do the long distance thing for 18 months. If we couldn't close the distance before then there was either something wrong with one of us, the relationship, or it just wasn't going to work out.

To some people this may seem really strict, but we are both settled enough, but still mobile to put a time limit on our relationship. As the time has gone on, the distance has taken more and more of a toll on our relationship and we set a date to close the distance and I took the steps necessary to keep my life moving in a positive direction, just there.

For us, having an end date has helped us push through the lonely times. By the time we close the distance we will have been together for 15 months and I've decided not to move in with him right away. I'm going to get my own apartment and we're going to adjust to each other being there all the time before we do move in together when his lease is up in November. So we won't move in together until we've been together for 19 months.

For me, the living separately part is important. In reality, even though we've talked every day for 3 years now, and been together for just over nine months, we haven't spent much time together. We only get to see each other for weekends, and while we see each other more than it seems most people on this site do, it's for a much shorter period of time. By us being together but living separately it'll help us close that gap mentally and go from being a long distance couple that sees each other every month or every 6 weeks, to one that sees each other all the time before we do move in together.

I don't think that everyone should put an expiration date on the time that they are willing to be apart, it's really up to the couple and how their relationship progressed, their morals and values, their goals, and their individual and joint life journeys.

**lucybelle** · January 17, 2012, 01:03 PM

My relationship had an expiration date, like Sierra said. I told my SO I would wait 3 years, and that's it. There's plenty of couples who say they would wait forever, but I'm not one of them. We closed the distance in just under 2 years.

Again, you have to decide what you can handle and what you can't. Come up with a plan. Save money. Best of luck.

**~whendarknessfalls** · January 17, 2012, 01:04 PM

well it definitely depends on the couple, but for us, we've been together for 14 months, half of that has been long distance. he graduated last year and now lives across the country because of his job and I'm still working my way through college. in the best, most reasonable circumstances we could close the distance in 2.5-3 more years... and we are both willing to wait for that (:

**LilyChiba** · January 17, 2012, 04:24 PM

Been together 2 years next month and having our first visit this year. If everything went ok, I would be moving there this time next year. I'm going to try and not worry on this haha, but hopefully all will be well. As for how long I'd wait.. I'd like to say I would wait forever for him, since I couldn't see my life without him, but both of us getting pretty bad with our depression and with me, I tend to act out if it gets overwhelming. If it is too much longer, say 3-5 years, I don't know what I'd do.

**Zephii** · January 17, 2012, 04:46 PM

For us staying long distance was just never an option on the table, we never considered it, so we didn't have a use-by date.
When we met we decided if we were going to have a relationship or not. We went with option one. Then we sat down with some paper and worked out what would be possible. We both had a year of school left, give or take a couple of months. We made each other a priority over everything else that we knew would come after. Instead of looking for a job fresh out of school (which likely would have made getting his career started 100x easier) he flew to me. Now, we don't consider "settling down" to be closing the distance. When we're together, no matter where we are, it's closed and that's that. So he stayed with me until I finished school, and then we both migrated back to his home country.

I don't know how long I'd be willing to wait if we went LD again with no end in sight, because I can't fathom that ever happening. I can't imagine a time where one of us wouldn't compromise and go to the other, no matter what it took. But, knowing me, I'd say I could probably do it for a year. I wouldn't wait forever.

**Brieasaurus** · January 17, 2012, 05:42 PM

Like everyone else has said, it definitely depends upon your relationships, your wants, and compromising. I've been with my SO for a little bit longer than a year, and we've been LD our entire relationship. Considering I have to stay here for about two more years of school, we will probably continue being LD for that time period. So all together we'll be about 3 years of LD before moving in together. However, he has plans of moving here within that time frame so although we won't be living together (he'll have his own apartment), we'll be CD. Although it seems tough, I think we can all survive it.

**floridaellen** · January 17, 2012, 06:22 PM

My SO and I dated long distance for 16 months, then broke up for 7 weeks, and have been back together long distance for four months today

I'm away at college and he lives back near my hometown so we are actually only long distance for essentially half the year considering school breaks and summer.
We plan to close the distance after I graduate. I love Florida but I want to move back to my hometown. There are good options for graduate school and jobs along with the potential of moving to PA which I would really like. I graduate in 2.5 years if everything goes to plan. I will then pursue my graduate degree either living with him or living near him.
I could not be in a LD relationship without an end in sight. I don't think I could survive more than 5 years of it.

**Yaaamiii** · January 17, 2012, 06:37 PM

Waiting is really tough. I've been seriously thinking recently that after I graduate college in May 2013, I seriously do not want to continue being long distance. To me, its frustrating, exhausting, and lonely. Of course there's good that comes from it too, but by the time I graduate we will have been together for 4 years, 3 of which were long distance. We might have to continue the distance if I can't get a job after I graduate in that city. If so, we may have more frequent visits but still we will be long distance for an extra 2 years. 4 straight years of long distance just isn't going to cut it for me, so I seriously need to try and find a job in his current city before I graduate.

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How long is too long before closing the distance?

How long is too long before closing the distance?

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