Not first, your last.

[KatieVogel93]

So my boyfriend is back at school, it's been about two weeks and we text during the day, then go home and do homework. We don't really have good conversation much. Texting isn't really a good conversation tool because you can't say a lot or really get much from the person it's usually a shortened story and you don't get to hear how they're really feeling. Well today he called and we were having a nice conversation when his roommate came to ask if he wanted to go swimming. He said "Yeah I have nothing to do anyway" and said bye to me. It really sucks, I always feel like I'm last to him in these situations and the fact that he said that he doesn't have anything to do anyway upsets me. Maybe I'm just being taking it too offensively but I want him to devote some talking time, as we only talked for half an hour...and we were talking about something really important.

Is there someway I can tell him how I feel?

Am I wrong for feeling this way?

[marbear31]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting him to pay attention to you! If you do decide to bring up this issue with him, I'd use that specific example, and maybe just say you've been feeling a bit neglected lately. It happens in all relationships, and when it's happened in mine, the best way I could bring it up was by joking about it! What's life if you can't laugh, right? I totally just creeped on your signature, too--you've been dating a very similar amount of time to my boyfriend and I (and his name is Stephen as well, how funny!). I know especially around that time length in our relationship, there were points when I'd blow things out of proportion, and it turned out that he didn't know I was feeling a certain way (e.g. not texting back right away, etc.). Keep it light-hearted, and I'm sure it will resolve. Best of luck!

[snow_girl]

Just tell him exactly what you wrote. I'm sure he didn't mean 'I have nothing better to do' in the way you took it. I understand where you are coming from but maybe all he had planned was sitting around that evening and when the chance to go swimming came up he thought it would be a good opportunity. Tell him you'd like to be able to set aside some time where you both can devote completely to talking instead of texting or worrying about only having a short time.

Ps- thats my SO's name too!

[KatieVogel93]

I never know exactly how to tell him! Whenever I say "You never talk to me, you're too busy for me" Which is the wrong way I've learned. Sometimes he'll say "what, do you want me to text you all the time??" Part of me wants to say yes, but I don't want to look ridiculous, or needy!

[Soyokaze]

Just tell him you want to set aside say maybe a half an hour a day to talk to each other. It's not that much and it can run longer but when I was away at school it worked for my SO and I. All you can really do in your situation is tell him how you feel, he might not like what he hears but it's better than just ignoring it until you go crazy.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I never know exactly how to tell him! Whenever I say "You never talk to me, you're too busy for me" Which is the wrong way I've learned. Sometimes he'll say "what, do you want me to text you all the time??" Part of me wants to say yes, but I don't want to look ridiculous, or needy!

First off, the choice of words makes all the difference. If you start off with the word "you", he will instantly tune you out and begin planning his rebuttal because guys get defensive with the word "you". Don't feel needy, believe me, this is something I'm still learning too. If you express to him that you'd like to spend a little more time communicating or chatting, he should be understanding. As long as you're not asking for a ridiculous amount of time, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to. He's your boyfriend, he should want to make you happy, because if you're happy, he'll feel accomplished that he made you so happy! Also, praise or compliment him. If he steps it up communicationwise, let him know you're glad you guys are talking more and thank him for making the time, because he'll be more willing to if he realizes how much it means to you and how appreciative you are.

[KatieVogel93]

Alright, update! He just called me and we talked I made sure to leave out "you" and he understood how I felt, and promised to talk to me more during the day. He did become upset because I wasn't happy with him. Things are better, thanks guys! <3

[Bethypoo]

The way he said "i have nothing to do anyway" when he is obviously talking to you us kind of rude. I would be upset too. But The way that I have dealt with this in my own relationship (and this what worked for me and is just a suggestion), was to tell him that i know when he says stuff like that i shouldn't take it personally, but i do. I followed by giving examples and that i didnt feel like i as as important as other things in his life at times. I recognized that i might be feeling needy but just said that wasn't getting all that i needed from him.

From my experience you just have to lay it out. Dont attack him, just let him know how you feel.

[Joyce:)]

I'd feel a little hurt when i'd be on skype with him, he'd answer a call and say he wasn't doing anything important. Just let him know, i let my boyfriend know and now he's a lot more careful about what he tells people.