Hello everyone,
I have a rather long story, but I'm at the point to where I'm questioning exactly what I'm doing in my life.
I met my current 'girlfriend' in Korea.(I'm in the Army.) We'll call her Jane. She's an Irish-born girl that decided to go teach English in Korea. We hit it off great and were mad about each other. Like most things good, all has to come to an end though. I had to leave Korea in November 2011 and she was meant to be coming back to Ireland in February 2012. I made a big decision and decided to request to come to Germany to give Jane and I a chance at really making it work. (my contract in Germany is for 3 years)
As the last few months dwindled down, both of us were pretty confident that we were going to really make this work. We could visit each other once or twice a month on weekends and, in my mind at least, maybe we'd get married. I gave her a promise ring before I left. (I know it doesn't really have too much value when you're older, but it was the thought that mattered for me.) I've told her I want to marry her and meet all her family and friends.
Fast forward to about 3 weeks ago. Jane had just gotten back from a vacation with some friends and she came up with a random (to me) idea. She decided she would extend until June in Korea and then go to Australia in September.
(A little background for people that don't know much about the UK and Ireland. Apprarently, many Irish and English folk leave and move to Australia for jobs and vacation. Almost all of Jane's friends are in Australia now. Also, Ireland is in a massive recession, much worse than the US. So theres not many jobs.)
This was the first time she ever even MENTIONED the idea of living in Australia. She always told me that she would never go there. So, I was really angry and upset about it because it felt like she was giving up on the idea of us. Here I am, counting down to February for her to get here and then she basically ripped it from my hands. It felt like someone ripping away a toy from a baby. I could not believe it.
Before we get too far ahead, let me tell you her choices for the next 1-3 years. She really wants to be a teacher, but she needs 1 more year of college to finish. She didn't get accepted for this year's program though. So, A. move back to Ireland and try her best to find work and have the opportunity to stay within a reasonable distance to me. B. I proposed to her on Skype (I know, lame.) But it was one of the best webcam proposals to date
So, live in Ireland for a few months, then marry me. (Money wouldn't be an issue because of the military.) C. Move to Australia where there is jobs and her friends, but no me and no true career-like jobs. It'd basically be a lot of partying and good times, which honestly isn't a bad thing. The fact is that I thought we had a commitment. 
Her reasoning for not coming to Germany and marrying me right now is that she wouldn't be able to work and she'd have no friends, but personally I think this is a load of shit.. She's currently in Korea for almost a year now and she has only a few friends. She tells me that if I wasn't in Germany for 3 years, then we could make it work. She said she would have lived with me in the US, but not here. But thats total bullshit.... The whole reason I chose to come here was so that we would have a chance at making it work. I feel like I'm getting stabbed in the back.
As of right now, she told me that we're not in a relationship because of circumstances so technically, we're single. She tells all her friends that shes single, but yet we still talk almost every day on Skype and we still say 'i love you.'
Now, I know I'm making her out to look like a total bitch, but shes not at all. She's the most wonderful person I've ever met, but I think shes just not interested in keeping the relationship going right now. I honestly can't handle this situation. I've made multiple attempts to get SOME kind of sure answer from her, but she gives me nothing. I have vacation in July and I mentioned coming to visit her in Ireland and she basically shot it down right away. She said we shouldn't make any commitments right now. I think she thinks of me as just one of her friends now... I'm so confused. Every time I try to bring it up, she says the same thing.
I would really like to hear other people's personal experiences with a similar situation? A woman's advice would be even better! Sorry, I kind of write this really fast so if anything is unclear, just let me know and I'll add more details. I just want to know what I'm supposed to do?
I have a rather long story, but I'm at the point to where I'm questioning exactly what I'm doing in my life.
I met my current 'girlfriend' in Korea.(I'm in the Army.) We'll call her Jane. She's an Irish-born girl that decided to go teach English in Korea. We hit it off great and were mad about each other. Like most things good, all has to come to an end though. I had to leave Korea in November 2011 and she was meant to be coming back to Ireland in February 2012. I made a big decision and decided to request to come to Germany to give Jane and I a chance at really making it work. (my contract in Germany is for 3 years)
As the last few months dwindled down, both of us were pretty confident that we were going to really make this work. We could visit each other once or twice a month on weekends and, in my mind at least, maybe we'd get married. I gave her a promise ring before I left. (I know it doesn't really have too much value when you're older, but it was the thought that mattered for me.) I've told her I want to marry her and meet all her family and friends.
Fast forward to about 3 weeks ago. Jane had just gotten back from a vacation with some friends and she came up with a random (to me) idea. She decided she would extend until June in Korea and then go to Australia in September.
(A little background for people that don't know much about the UK and Ireland. Apprarently, many Irish and English folk leave and move to Australia for jobs and vacation. Almost all of Jane's friends are in Australia now. Also, Ireland is in a massive recession, much worse than the US. So theres not many jobs.)
This was the first time she ever even MENTIONED the idea of living in Australia. She always told me that she would never go there. So, I was really angry and upset about it because it felt like she was giving up on the idea of us. Here I am, counting down to February for her to get here and then she basically ripped it from my hands. It felt like someone ripping away a toy from a baby. I could not believe it.
Before we get too far ahead, let me tell you her choices for the next 1-3 years. She really wants to be a teacher, but she needs 1 more year of college to finish. She didn't get accepted for this year's program though. So, A. move back to Ireland and try her best to find work and have the opportunity to stay within a reasonable distance to me. B. I proposed to her on Skype (I know, lame.) But it was one of the best webcam proposals to date
So, live in Ireland for a few months, then marry me. (Money wouldn't be an issue because of the military.) C. Move to Australia where there is jobs and her friends, but no me and no true career-like jobs. It'd basically be a lot of partying and good times, which honestly isn't a bad thing. The fact is that I thought we had a commitment. Her reasoning for not coming to Germany and marrying me right now is that she wouldn't be able to work and she'd have no friends, but personally I think this is a load of shit.. She's currently in Korea for almost a year now and she has only a few friends. She tells me that if I wasn't in Germany for 3 years, then we could make it work. She said she would have lived with me in the US, but not here. But thats total bullshit.... The whole reason I chose to come here was so that we would have a chance at making it work. I feel like I'm getting stabbed in the back.
As of right now, she told me that we're not in a relationship because of circumstances so technically, we're single. She tells all her friends that shes single, but yet we still talk almost every day on Skype and we still say 'i love you.'
Now, I know I'm making her out to look like a total bitch, but shes not at all. She's the most wonderful person I've ever met, but I think shes just not interested in keeping the relationship going right now. I honestly can't handle this situation. I've made multiple attempts to get SOME kind of sure answer from her, but she gives me nothing. I have vacation in July and I mentioned coming to visit her in Ireland and she basically shot it down right away. She said we shouldn't make any commitments right now. I think she thinks of me as just one of her friends now... I'm so confused. Every time I try to bring it up, she says the same thing.
I would really like to hear other people's personal experiences with a similar situation? A woman's advice would be even better! Sorry, I kind of write this really fast so if anything is unclear, just let me know and I'll add more details. I just want to know what I'm supposed to do?
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