Hey everyone..i'm new here but I definitely have a question. Is anyone in a LDR wih someone but u have children? Meaning you have children from a previous relationship? If so, how do you work that out? I have two little girls from a previous relationship and have been with my SO for over a month, friends a little longer. He is in NC and i am in NY. I know LDRs come with alot of obstacles but this is definitely one we are going to have to deal with. I don't want hm meeting my children until i am completely sure he is going to be the one I end up spending my life with. So therefore, I am willing to make the trips out there when i can and pay for a sitter to watch them out here. How do u all handle it??
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First of all welcome to the forums.
I have a son and my SO has a son from previous relationships. We have been friends since 1996 though, so our children always sort of knew about the other person. When he came down to visit me in June, 2010 he met my son and we did initially try to keep from holding hands, etc from him. However he caught us kissing so we just faced it head on. Our kids are pretty far apart in age but they get along well and my son adores my SO and his son loves me (at least he says he does
). So I can't really help you there because I was always open about our relationship. My fear would be that if we didn't tell them that we were something special in each others lives, they might be upset if we one day just announced - this is so & so - she/he's the one we want to be with for the rest of our lives. It might be a good idea to introduce them gradually - just tell them he is your friend. Maybe have them get on Skype so they can see the other person so they don't worry about this?
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Hi there, and welcome!
I have a son who was just about four years old when I started dating J. I have a policy of telling my son the truth, always, so he's more or less been "in the know" throughout our relationship...although to be fair, at four years old, my son was far more interested in Hot Wheels and soccer than his mom's love life. :P But as blankita mentioned above, I wasn't wild on the thought of keeping J away from him and then all of a sudden going "Guess what, I met somebody a few months back and I want to marry them someday!" As a kid, I would have been FURIOUS to hear that.
If J and I don't work out, it will be a lesson to my son that relationships in life can come and go, and to celebrate the time you have with somebody you love.
J and my son get along very well, I have given them lots of opportunities to chat via Skype throughout the last few years and they have spent time together during various vacations. The only thing that has come up is my son's worry that his dad will stop being his dad when J and I get married. Thankfully I come from divorced parents who are both happily remarried to wonderful people, so I was able to use them as examples that you can have lots more than two parents!Comment
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Originally posted by Ianthe View Post
that sounds like the healthy way to approach things! congratulations on what seems to eb amazing relationships, with your son, partner and parents. I wish you all the best and that it remains this way!
may I ask how long you are together with your SO now and how old is your son at the moment?our story.
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02.02.2012 - When we got married and closed the distance once and for all
"If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."Comment
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Thank you!Originally posted by Engel View Post
I've been with J for four years this February, and my son is now seven (almost eight).Comment
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I have kids and we have been LDR for over 9 years... feel free to private message me if you want to chat about the ups and downs of it
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