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Ok this crap annoys the crap outta me.

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    Ok this crap annoys the crap outta me.

    The SO has been being a little punk the past couple of days.. I finally found out why. A grown 40 year old is playing MW3 with his brother day in and day out and he starts talking to me on IM and just leaves me hanging and today totally pissed me off because I had some serious stuff going on. I dont think he really meant to but you know how guys are with their games. I am such a hard time just chatting with him..I try for a few minutes once a day..I dont know if its smothering him to do this or if it would be better to seek on planned times with him. I am thinking skype and phone calls may be more efficient

    ---------- Post added at 09:31 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:31 PM ----------

    I did say that I understand he gets busy but tell me hes busy..Dont just leave me

    #2
    Wow that's messed up I am so sorry... *Hugs* if you've got serious stuff going on, he should at least try to make YOU his number 1 priority! *Hugs to you*

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      #3
      Maybe try and write him a longer message to let him know how you're feeling and then maybe asking what time(s) would be best for him to speak? and then have a designated time.. or even try skyping (or use a similar program like oovoo) him while he's playing video games and then you can at least have that connection there.. though communication is important for any relationship especially an LDR because you can't be there physically.. My advice is to message him and then when he gets a break from the video game he can see it and respond and then you guys can set up online dates where you'll spend talking to and growing closer to each other.. though if you webcam, the pressure to talk is less because you can show each other things, watch videos at (as close as you can) the same time, or whatever. Good luck to you!!

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        #4
        that is really depressing. I have talked to him about two seperate issues so I dont really feel I can bring this up either

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          #5
          I SO KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!!! If you have to go and do, dont say you dont and then just leave. I think there is an issue with men and multi tasking as well as being able to figure out when and how to split time. You know he has other stuff to do. But still. Vent away, it is annoying!
          Got together Jan 3, 2011~ Closed the Distance March 23, 2012~ Living Together Since June 19 2012~ Future TBD......

          I miss you more than I ever could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal." ~ Vita Sackville-west

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            #6
            well he agreed and were gonna start planning times tomarrow. he assured me he loves taking to me but its hard to get undivided time on FB..so Im game with that..I feel like ima punk for bringing so much stuff up but its early in the relationship..I guess I look at it as were still ironing out the kinks

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              #7
              ugh i know what you mean about the video games. My SO loves his Xbox, i do like to play xbox too but not many games are co-op multi player and i don't own an xbox myself. When we first started going out he would spend a lot more time playing but we did have a conversation about it and he has since then cut back a lot or he Skypes with me while he plays instead of talking with the people hes playing with.

              for me it's not the xbox itself it's more the general distraction and not having proper one on one time with each other. I do know that i do other things while we talk (like look at forums :P ). so when he's on his xbox in a slightly distracted mood thats when i'll do those things that I like to do. There does need to be a balance though, both of us take some time just to have our attention on each other and nothing else because that's when the best conversations and quality time happens. It is nice to just sit on Skype doing your own things and being able to hear each other though.

              When i'm feeling we haven't had enough time together i do mention it though, usually i'll say something like 'Hey can we have some 'us' time?' or 'i'm really looking forward to having some time together later'. if you want to bring it up it's best to bring it up outlining the postitives, what you want and the happy side.. rather than making it sound negative and what you don't want.
              Met Online: February 2009
              Feelings grew: January 2011
              First met in person: 4 April - 16 April 2011
              Officially together since: 4th of April 2011
              Second visit: 29 June - 1 August 2011
              Third visit: 28 September - 15 October 2011
              Fourth visit: 19 January - 25 February 2012
              Fifth visit: 24 March - 12 April 2012
              Sixth visit: 2 June - 7 July 2012
              Engaged: 1st of July 2012
              Seventh visit: 27 August - 23 September
              Visa lodged: 5th of November 2012
              Eighth visit: 8 December 2012 - 12 January 2013
              Visa granted: 8th of May 2013
              Hawaii: 19 May - 2 June 2013
              Closed the distance: 16th of July 2013

              Married my Englishman on the 4th of October 2013

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                #8
                Games can definitely be a problem, it's as if men's brains shut down when they play a game that they're really into, at least that's how my BF is. Honestly, I don't think a simple thing such as him playing a game is reason to have to set specific times for you do talk I mean, to me, it would just make sense that YOU are a priority over a game, so maybe talk with him and say "hey, pay attention to me first and then go crazy on the game." Skype and phone calls will probably help you feel more like you got to talk to him and not feel as bad when he leaves to play a game.
                "The Only Heaven I'll Be Sent To,
                Is when I'm Alone With You."


                Met: Sometime in 2016
                Started Relationship: August 9, 2017
                First Visit: December 7, 2017
                Closed the distance: February 9, 2018

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                  #9
                  Thats a good point...We did talk and he has learned I need undivided time. I dont mind that he plays just dont play while youre talking to me

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