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    #1

    Taking it out on him

    I think that I have lost my mind. I will keep this short because I hate long posts myself.

    Basically, I have been psycho on Chris for no reason but the fact of the distance. I know I might sound hypercritical because I tell people that if you are made at the situation aka the distance, don't take it out on each other. And that is what I am doing. We have gone through this before but it was the both of us who were upset. We worked it out and haven't done it sense.

    Now, I freak out on him and the truth is I am just over the distance. Maybe it has to do with the way our last visit ended (which we have already talked about) but he was upset that i had to leave (which is a switch because I am usually the one who is a basket case).

    Any ways to get around it other the the usual? Like i said we have done this before but this time is different. And any special ways to make it up to him?

    Thanks guys!

    Have a great day!
    Got together Jan 3, 2011~ Closed the Distance March 23, 2012~ Living Together Since June 19 2012~ Future TBD......

    I miss you more than I ever could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal." ~ Vita Sackville-west
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    #2
    I tend to get like this a little bit, too. I find myself getting annoyed at the smallest little things Anthony says or does and I know it's only because of the distance. Usually it has to do with a lack of communication since we don't get to talk that much when we're apart, which makes it worse. Mainly I read into texts like it's nobody's business and I misinterpret what he says. I don't know how to avoid it, if anyone knows, do share! Lol. I just wanted to say that you're not alone and I get like that, too. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk! As far as making it up to him, I try to either send a card or an email or a nice text, pouring my heart out and I always apologize to him too and let him know it's not his fault. I tell him it's the distance and he understands.

    "Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches."

    Like a drum, my heart never stops beating for you.

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      #3
      Dan and I have done this as well where we'll take it out on each other even though we're not mad at the other person. Lately we are both so over the distance because we've been LD since graduation in early May. Once I sent him a snail mail card soon a few days after he'd flown back to VA and he loved it! It was an inexpensive way to do something little and rekindle the "I believe in us and our ability to overcome the distance" spark that we'd lost.


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        #4
        When I am under a lot of stress and frustrated about the distance, I take it out on my boyfriend. I know I shouldn't, but it feels like the easiest outlet, and most times he is very understanding. I think it is because I feel safe expressing how I feel to him, but I have to stop myself sometimes and say, "No, do not take this out on him. Talk to him, but don't take it out on him." I have to take a step back and work through the things that are bothering me with him. To make it up to him, I will usually try to spend the rest of the evening doing things he likes.
        Canadian permanent residence APPROVED!
        Closed the Distance: 09/26/2019
        Engaged: 09/26/2020

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          #5
          I was guilty of doing this in the past. Best way of dealing with it is just talking it through with him and dealing with it that way. You can solve a heck of a lot more if you chat about things rather than letting them simmer

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            #6
            Wow that's interesting because I just had one of those episodes last night. Sometimes I get so butt hurt over the littlest things he says, then I freak on him. He never let's me win though. It's a good things, otherwise I'd have my fits more often. But because he won't give into me, it makes me angrier.
            I always apologize. In fact, I'm thinking about making him peanut butter cookies made from scratch. For LD, why not just send him a bunch? I'm sure he'd appreciate just a simple apology too though
            sigpic
            Began our story ~ July 1, 2007
            Our first LDR ~ August 2009
            Closed the distance ~ January 2011
            He joined the Air Force ~ January 1, 2013
            Our second LDR ~ January 2, 2013
            He proposed ~ July 4, 2013
            Our wedding day ~ December 30, 2014
            Closing the distance ~ Summer 2015
            Proud of my Airman!!

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              #7
              Well I mean I knew that I wasn't the only one who did this, but it is good to see that you all will claim that you have/are doing it too.

              I did write him an email. When i am talking about something emotional, sometimes I write it a lot better. And I figured maybe by him seeing it would get through it him a bit more. Anyway, I apologized and told him that i both loved him and missed him and that he has done NOTHING wrong. He said he read it and that we would talk tonight about it. But anyway, thanks guys!
              Got together Jan 3, 2011~ Closed the Distance March 23, 2012~ Living Together Since June 19 2012~ Future TBD......

              I miss you more than I ever could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal." ~ Vita Sackville-west

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                #8
                We all do it! as long as we can recognize that we're doing it and make the step to communicate with our SO's it's fine.

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