I am at my wits end.

[MsAngeeDepp]

I know I has discuss this many times but I am absolutely fed up.

I recently posted a thread about how my SO gets on and plays MW3 while hes supposed to be talking to me. This is twice I have talked to him on this subject. He agrees hes all over the place and is hard to get ahold of because he frequently jumps from social site to social site. He assured me that while its never incovienent to talk to me, undivided my be a problem. So I asked him if it were better to set up times and he was like sure. So I left him a note yesterday and asked him if he wanted to chat tomarrow. He said sure and proceeded to tell me that it would be nice to talk to me now. So Im like sure I have a few. And not even within ten minutes..he went off and left me hanging for like an hour.

So I got mad. And wrote him. I told him all I want and would ever want was not any sort of materialistic thing he could give me but him uninterrupted. It really pisses me off. I put in 12-13 days between going to school and teaching students.. Not to downplay his time cuz I dont know what his day is like but he has two theater classes for a couple hours three days a week. He is off work for a seasonal hiatus. He works at a golf course. It just keeps me wondering my I have to be the one doing all the fricking work. I mean if you digged your GF as much as you told your GF's mom..Wouldnt you be itching to spend time with her? And while I understand..its not real, its not physical in that capacity, thats all we have right now.

And this brings about bad juju. I have been with so many guys who have used me and have used me for sex. And although his comments about me are very affirming, I wonder sometimes. He had mentioned when I come to visit that rather than have to censor himself around his parents, he wanted to get a hotel room so we could have some privacy but I know fully he expects sex which heck I like it with him as well but it just gets me wondering. My mom who has absolutely the best advice in the world, assured me and sorry guys I know you arent all like that that this is typical inconsiderate man behavior and that Im overgeneralizing it and thinking the worse.

Well I hate playing these stupid games but Im giving him a dose of his own medicine..Im just gonna stop contacting him for awhile. Im wondering if hell actually take the initative to find out what is wrong or what. He was on today and never answered the notes I wrote him. I dont know..Im tired of having to guess whats in that thick man skull of his.

[lucybelle]

Yeah that would drive me insane. I saw your other post, but didn't reply. I don't know what to tell you. I'm glad my SO isn't into video games. I was brought up without TV so even watching a show is something I'm not used to.

He's GOT to pay more attention to you. It's just downright rude to leave without warning in the middle of a conversation. Perhaps if you're skyping on webcam he'll be less likely to leave?

[goalie_girl34]

I gotta say I'm glad that both my SO and I are into video games. It gives us something to talk about and do together and with Xbox live we can talk while he plays. It sounds like there isnt much you can do in this situation if he's deciding to act this way. At soem point I guess you will have to lay it all on the line and give him an ultimatum.

[MsAngeeDepp]

yah this is sad..I dont even ask for a huge amount of time..Throw me a bone here

[LeilaniJoi]

When video games are more important than you are, no matter what they say... it's time to cut it loose. It's an addiction that isn't fixed easily and most likely won't get better with time. This comes from personal experience. So sorry.

[CarolinaGirl]

Hm, while I'm probably much less inexperienced in relationships, I get what you mean. I'm pretty happy with my own relationship right now, but we've had problems before because he wouldn't have a lot of time to talk to me due to school, work, and just other things that kept him busy. It would really piss me off because when he had time to talk to me, he'd always be playing video games like MW3 or something along those lines, and I'd be sitting there feeling ignored because he'd try to do "both at once". I would always say that it wasn't fair either because I'd be the one making sure I didn't have a lot of plans so we could talk, whether it be on the phone, online, or through skype. If he'd ignore me while we were talking or just randomly leave on me, I'd let him know I was mad. Or upset. Most guys tend to care more if you're upset rather than being mad and "bitchy", since they don't want to deal with someone who's only going to yell at them. I think the best thing you can do for the sake of your relationship is to just not talk to him for a little while and see if he says anything about it. I used to do that when I wasn't happy with my boyfriend. He would always end up contacting me after a few days, if I didn't contact him at all, and then he'd ask me what was wrong and we'd talk about it. I'm very fortunate because my boyfriend was always willing to talk about problems we had and actually wanted to fix them. So, when he knew I was upset, he tried to make it better. He has tremendously. I would say it's key to be able to communicate and talk to your partner. If he won't acknowledge that you're unhappy or won't talk about things and try to fix them, I would say that it doesn't mean that much to him. Someone like that isn't worth your time. In that case, I would let him know things need to change.

[ChibiFelicia]

i wouldnt say playing "games" would be the best idea. Also giving an ultimatium...they dont work. I love playing video games as much as my SO and all my ex's but i still sometimes get ignored when he's playing another game and talking to me. I just sit there doing what im supposed to be doing and jsut listen to him play. I dont know how often you speak to your SO but we speak everyday for hours...As soon as i get home and if he's home we'lll be on skype. Not necessarily talking. Just with headphones on lol...i guess it's nice jsut to feel closer to him.

Honestly though i'll have to agree with the above poster that if the game is more important...then it's time to let him know that you feel like that and if he doesnt give you undivided attention on your dates you set up then it may not be worth it.

[MsAngeeDepp]

well I didnt exactly mean games. I dont want to feel as if I have to not talk to him to get him to talk to me. Thats just stoopid but what else do I have to do? Also I wonder how long its gonna go on like that and if he even contacts me back

---------- Post added at 02:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:42 PM ----------

I have to admit Carolinagirl..When he does talk he is pretty understanding

[CarolinaGirl]

Yeah, I get what you mean about not wanting to feel as if you have to not talk to him to get him to talk to you. You just want him to kind of notice that something is wrong. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. If he is pretty understanding, when he decides to figure out what's going on, you should just expain to him what you're feeling right now. It's not like you'd be telling him to drop everything for you. Your just asking for a little more attention, just so you know he cares.

[MsAngeeDepp]

exactly...I dont know whats going on his man skull for him to not even say..hey look I gotta go ya know. And to say I wanna talk to you tonight and repeat the same thing you did the previous night that I talked you about? OMG nails on a chalkboard. Its good that others go through this crap because I would go mental

[CarolinaGirl]

Haha been there, done that. Idk I really hate when sometimes we're in the middle of like a really nice conversation, like just us talking, neither one is doing anything else but speaking and listening, then out of nowhere, "Oh baby, I have to go. Bye. I love you." *Click* <Me staring at the phone with a horribly confused face>
First, you randomly destroy whatever moment we were having. Then, you don't even tell me why you're leaving. THEN, to top it all off, you say it so fast I have no time to think. Jeez, give me a minute to say I love you back?? Sometimes that really makes me want to like slap him or something lol

[HollzHeartsChris]

Games are the bane of some people's lives. I can't stand it when people treasure a game and playing it more than you. Happened to me once with an ex and it sucked =( I'm sorry. I think what you did was best given the situation.

[MsAngeeDepp]

Im not talking to him for a while to see if I am really am a priority..He doesnt come find me by the weekend, Im gone. Its too early to deal with this. I was in tears today. He never responded to my message about how it hurts me not being a priority and then he gets on some political rant on FB and doesnt even say hi.. Im done.

[SquishyLove]

I'm rarely a fan of ultimatums in relationships, but I think in your case it's perfectly called-for. It seems like he takes you for granted, and that you definitely aren't his number 1. Video games are his number 1 at this point, which is sad. You seem to be doing all the work, and one-sided relationships are never healthy. People can and do become addicted to games, and it can interfere with all aspects of life just like addiction to a substance. It's really unfortunate that you're at the end of your rope with this, but in all honesty, if he doesn't fight for you it seems that he doesn't care all that much anyway and that you're better off if he proves what you're trying to find out. Maybe he'll learn not to take someone for granted in the future. The person who truly deserves your love will never take you for granted or make you feel like you're not number 1 in their life. I wish the absolute best for you!