lost feeling for her please help

[betheyoung089]

hello everyone im new but ill just get to the point my g/f and i have been together for about 9months now and i love her to death i cant see my life with out her but for some reason i have no clue why but it seems that i have lost some feelings that i used to feel being with her.i cannot believe this has happened i just get so up set about it because i dont wanna break up with her or leave her i just feel like i dont like her as much as i used to or something.but no way i wanna end our relationship we have had to many wonderful times.i just feel so down about this.its like one min im all happy and super glad im with her the next i feel so sad and my feeling dont feel the same.im not sure why im like this can someone please help if you can.i have talked to her aobut it i just hope we can work it out and my feeling will grow for her again i dont want them to go away and me just never wanna be with her again because i love her to death any help would be great thanks so much everyone,
aaron

[roosie]

It sounds to me that the honeymoon phase is wearing off. It's completely normal to feel that way and it happens to most couples! It's not bad though, maybe the excitement is changing into a more mature love. This is the time for you to think if you are in it for the long run.

[betheyoung089]

Thanks I was wondering if that might be the case or not I hope that's what it is.if not idk what to do because I do love her I just feel different now I guess you could say but not to where I wanna leave her I Dont want that ever!

[MsAngeeDepp]

Im wondering if this isnt happening with my Beau..Needless to say you arent alone

[ushiwakafox]

I was fixing to say the same thing roosie did. Most likely the initial excitement of a new relationship and a new person is wearing off. It's very exciting to learn and love someone new, but eventually the dopamine and other feel-good hormones begin to wane. People react to this lowering of hormones in different ways. And most likely, judging from how stressed you seem to be about all of this, it probably isn't helping that you're feeling such anxiety over it. You might just be psyching yourself out, making it worse. Focus on other things in your life, hang out with your friends and/or family, go outside, work out, etc.

You could even be talking to your girl too much. I know that sounds crazy, but you might also feel this way maybe due to a lack of things to talk about if y'all talk a lot throughout the day. Just putting it out there. I personally get frustrated when we hit a rut in our conversation. So if y'all have seem to hit a wall, might I suggest looking around the site for more topic ideas.

It seems pretty obvious that you do love her, so most likely it's just the honeymoon phase wearing off. That usually happens around the end of the first year anyway.

No worries

[betheyoung089]

Maybe you guys are right if its not the honey moon phase then what is it maybe i am making it worse than it is. and idk if we talk to much we do talk alot but we always have stuff to talk about.but anyways I hope that's all it is but you guys have great advice! Thanks for the help!! is the honey mood phase normally this hard to deal with if that's what it is?

[ushiwakafox]

Oh yes, it can be very difficult to deal with sometimes. Especially if you read too much into it. Sometimes you feel things that have no logic behind it. And you try with every ounce of your brain matter to figure it out. But with things like this, there is no root reasoning.

Try doing something new with her. Play an game online or a word game, watch a movie together, tell stories. Something fresh may be just what you need.

And above all, I can't stress this enough, calm down. Stop thinking. You love this girl, and you don't want to break up with her, and you feel there is no reason to.

[betheyoung089]

Well you're very right out of the blue I felt this way and had no clue why because I knew that I still loved her.and had no idea why I felt this way.and I wanted to know why I was feeling like this.what had happened to where all the sudden My feelings don't feel as strong as they did.but I guess tone right the homey moon phase is over

[Bethypoo]

It sounds to me that the honeymoon phase is wearing off. It's completely normal to feel that way and it happens to most couples! It's not bad though, maybe the excitement is changing into a more mature love. This is the time for you to think if you are in it for the long run.

I agree. This can be a really uncomfortable part of a relationship but we all go through it. Stick it out for a while and re-calculate who you are as a couple. Try and be patient and work through it. If after a while you cant get into a groove together, then re think things. But I am sure that is all it is.

[betheyoung089]

Thank you all ill take all of your guys advice and really try and figure out what's going on b/c I don't wanna end it I just wanna always love her.i doubt think my feelings would ever change I hope they come back.even tho they have I still love talking to her and being with her its great I love it!

[ushiwakafox]

Don't think of it as a bad thing. There are so many great things that you can gain after the honeymoon phase is over. Now you can truly learn about who your girl is and what she's about. After the honeymoon phase is when you can really have a deeper appreciation for who she is. That and among so many other things.

[betheyoung089]

But what if its not the honeymoon stage what if im really losing feelings for her? Its just one min im happy and so glad I have her and feel all good again the next I just wanna cry b/c I cant believe I Dont feel the same way I used to feel.I just want it to go away I want my feelings to come back.its like i'm in some stupid bipolar mood or something and i'm not like that

[MoveAlong92]

i think its just stupid unknown evil voices that are just trying to break up your relationship lol
just ignore it and tell it to shush! >.<
thats what i did
coz i felt like that before

when it happend
i asked myself, why do i love him in the first place? what is it about him that made me so in love and happy before?
i tried listing down the things about him that made me love him

when i looked back at those good times we had with each other, those good memories
and those bad times that ive gone through my life and how he always help cheer me up and make things better,
he has always been there for me
he has never give up on me
and i was like damn it, how can i feel like that towards him..
hes done so much
compare to the people in my life, hes the only one that has ever been so nice to me, and would never give me up
i feel grateful to have him in my life
id never wanted to lose him
i love him because he loves me
unconditionally

when i think back all those good things hes done for me
i fall in love with him all over again
maybe you should try that?
think of all the good things shes done for you
and be grateful
maybe that love would come back again

i wish you luck

[betheyoung089]

im not sure what it is all i know is i want it to go away,and yes i do think of all the good times we have had and i love those times and then i get to thinking about them and i get sad because i think what if this is the end what if there is not more good times.we have been together for almost 9months i have met her friends and family and she has yet to meet mine i can't stand the fact that she was so close to meeting them and we have been together close to a year and all of a sudden i feel like i have lost feelings for her.like out of the blue it happened it makes no sense how can you lose feelings for someone that you love like that.?because even though they have changed i still truly love her with all my heart.thats why i get so sad about it because i cant believe they have changed after all we have done and been through.you guys say not to think about it but how can i not all i do is think about it i want it to end i wanna go back having the feelings i once had for her.but they come and go one min the feelings will come back the next and a sad train wreck.even though my feelings dont feel the same i still love her the good thing is my g/f has always been there with me no matter what i love her so much for that i just wanna be able to tell her that its all over i hope its over soon and thanks you guys all for you help i cant think you all enough.

[Xanahtas]

To me it does sound like the honeymoon phase is just wearing off, which is perfectly normal! You still have the same feelings, because you love her, but you've just got used to it so it becomes a more natural feeling. We all go through it at one point I wouldnt worry yourself about it, if you love her as much as you say you do then you cant just lose feelings over night.
Just dont stress about it, and enjoy your relationship