How Have You Changed?

[Bethypoo]

I think that I appreciate my boyfriend more and the time that he take to talk to me. It isn't as easy. We do technically have to go out of our way to "see" each other. We both have our own lives but it doesn't mean that I don't want him to be in my life.

But honestly, the biggest thing that has changed me SO MUCH is the communication aspect of a relationship. I am so much more open than I ever have been and dont really have a filter. Because in a LDR you have to be open and honest because he cant always see my face or read my body language. It is easy to be deceptive. So that has been the biggest change in me. Communication.

[sweetshay]

I'm less independent and more needy. I realize that while he was here he took such good care of me and the love I felt was exactly what i've always wanted. Till he came I just had to be patient... then to have him ripped away from me so soon made me realize how much I need him in my life, value attention, and need to feel cared about from him, because no one else knows how to care for me like he does. It gets worse by day especially since I don't know when we will meet again.

[ChibiFelicia]

I've changed alot. Not because it's an LDR but my SO has really helped me. I've matured, become more well rounded, i understand now that there are times were i should depend on someone. I'm a very independent person an dhave never depended on my exes, but with him i think i may have lent on him a little too much. I've now changed that. He's helped me with my temper, my rationalisation, being able to see the bigger picture, thinking more before i open my mouth (lol i have an awful habit of being very blunt so i've learnt to be a little more tactful). And being more laid back, enjoy the little things, being more observant...really i've just matured. I got a long way to go to become the person i want to be.

A long time ago i was going through a difficult time and my man recited this proverb to me, about the oak and the willow. I've heard it many times before from my parents but it never resonated with me. I know it vaguely in chinese but i can't seem to find an english translation (im not great at my chinese so a direct translation i find difficult). Basically, if anyone cares, Theres a storm coming in where the oak and willow tree are standing. The oak says to the willow "im big and strong and can stand this storm, you are however weak and have very thin branches you will not withstand it". The storm comes in and the oak tries with all his might to stand tall and not break, the willow says to the oak "you need to ride the storm". The oak does not yield and eventually cracks in to two whereas the willow, with all it's flexibility, rides out the storm. Ok i typed this from memory and it sounds kinda awful...apologies. So i found something on google which is basically the same thing: -

A man is born gentle and weak.
At his death he is hard and stiff.
Green plants are tender and filled with sap.
At their death they are withered and dry.
Therefore the stiff and unbending is the disciple of death.
The gentle and yielding is the disciple of life.
Thus an army without flexibility never wins a battle.
A tree that is unbending is easily broken.
The hard and strong will fall.
The soft and weak will overcome.(Tao Te Ching, LXXVI)

I live my life this now. I want to be like a willow...just a random fact. My SO is korean and his last name means willow..it's actually when translated into chinese, it's my last name too lol. So fitting i guess.

[Amelia]

one of the main changes that i have noticed is being more physically active and eating healthy. i think i use the physical activity to take my mind of the distance and the frustration at the distance. Running has been a release for all the drama i get from people about being in a ldr. I have also become more independent and focus more on my uni work. Because of the slight time difference and our different uni timetables and work schedules i have become more organised so i do have time to skype with my bf as well as complete work

[HollzHeartsChris]

Chris gave me hope and showed me that not everyone out there wants to hurt you. He brought out in me a side I've never seen before, a calmer, more appreciative side, a more romantic one. He's made me stronger emotionally. I can't really list all the way he's changed me. I just feel like a much calmer, happier person when I'm in his company.

[meganpillow]

These are all WONDERFUL answers! Thank you all very much! I just wanted to be able to look at a bunch of answers and see where I find a common denominator. I told my SO, Sebastian, that if we make it through this long distance relationship, I want to write a book together. So I think that looking at a range of different times of LDRs it will give my book a sense of wide-range and will hopefully encourage a lot of other couples to do long distance relationships... especially since we are always getting bogged down by "professionals" who think that we can't make a relationship work just because we can't see each other face to face everyday.

I hope everyone is having a great day, because I know I am after reading all these lovely posts!!

[lademoiselle]

I think I've grown an incredible amount as a person since my SO and I became a couple. He's my first boyfriend, so I have no experience of CD; perhaps that makes LD a bit easier because it's all I've ever known? I'm not sure Nonetheless, this relationship has given me a sense of independence and taught me emotional resilience that nothing else could. I've become much more secure within myself; nowadays I'm confident in my ability to cope with whatever life throws at me. Prior to meeting my SO I was very much still a young girl, frightened of everything and in need of others' support... 18 months later I finally feel like the strong woman which my SO always believed I could be!

[Deleted]

I had to learn to express my feelings, I used to be really cold and the distance made me expressive, since it is harder to make your love obvious when you can't see your SO. I had never said "I love you" to someone so many times!

[FadedSunrise]

I used to not want anything to do with romantic love. I harbored a long unrequited crush toward someone all through high school, and after graduating high school with lackluster grades (3.65) I held that against myself and threw myself into studying hard core. I thought this kind of stuff was useless.

I'm a bit more open to the idea of finding someone to marry/have kids with now, but at the same time much more bitter, given how fruitlessly my relationship ended (without a single visit, and kind of like an online fantasy instead of a real relationship). Actually, check that, a lot more bitter-I'm in the process of going back full circle to love relationships are not necessary and dedicating myself full time to career advancement again.

[Jassy_love]

I've become patient, something I never thought I'd have in me. And all my flirting with guys has completely diminished ... lol used to b a huge flirt but I was single ...

[lala]

Learned to trust, to be more outhoing and open. I leanrned more to be a woman,not a girl or a "man" who tries to play she's strong. Of course I'm still strong but in a better way. I can show my feelings better, although I need more time to express them in English. I feel more confident, more self-conscious. And last but not least, happy, like never in my life
negative sides: I'm not hangging out that much with friends,because I don't like it anymore.They do boring things and act in a way I don't like, it's just not making fun anymore. The best thing was when my best friend said,that we grew apart, because she has way more experiences and grew fater than me and I'm like still the same. That was the funniest thing I've every heard

[Manoek]

I had to learn to express my feelings, I used to be really cold and the distance made me expressive, since it is harder to make your love obvious when you can't see your SO. I had never said "I love you" to someone so many times!

I'm getting there... I'm not really good in expressing my feelings, but I'm still learning.. and I really notice that this relationship is forcing me to do this.. and that's good!

[leonsfangirl]

I sleep alot less than i used too thats for sure lol (damn you time difference)

I'd say I have more confidence in myself,I have alot more faith in the choices i make. I'm stronger both mentally and emotionally,more secure. I've also become more lovey dovey! before i met my SO i'd laugh and make fun of people doing the "I love you, I love you more...NO i love YOU more..No I love YOU way more" stuff. I full on LOVE hockey now (Go Leafs Go!!) and I'm more open to trying things outside of my usual taste.

On the whole, I'm still me..... just better

Thats all i can think of but I've only had 4 hours sleep so may add more later.