Need some Advice..

[Tomowns]

So I'm a 20 year old Police Officer In England, I deal with rapes, Fatal road traffic incidents, brutal assaults and all sorts of other horrible acts and people. I like to think of myself as grown up. I dont go out and get "Wasted" on the weekend and end up on the news. Im nice mature and kind, ( This isnt my gloating, just painting a picture ) I still live with my Parents, as Im saving up for a mortage without renting. With all of this a lot of my peers guess me as a really mature person. But when my Girlfriend to be comes over in March/April she isnt allowed to sleep in the same room as me, But in the spare room 9 feet away from mine. Traveling 2000 miles to be 9 feet away from me. Someone here must have parents like these? I have tried everything to change their mind but they dont even mention about talking about it. It feels like a kid at 14?! What do? I have tried everything, can anyone shed me some light?

Thanks

[snow_girl]

This isn't the first time this topic has come up here. If you are living in your parents house, it doesn't matter how mature you are, you respect their rules. Some parents are more liberal then others but lots of parents wouldn't be comfortable giving their kids an opportunity to have sex. Just because maybe they know you are sexually active doesn't mean they are going to enable it. If you are not, it is still an open invitation to do something your parents might not be comfortable with. Maybe think about staying at a hotel for a night or two where you can spend some special quality time together, but unfortunately as long as you live under someone else's roof you need to go by their rules.

[anlgp]

Thanks for being a policeman.

On to your topic, 9 feet is not that bad I would take that over the 2,000 miles any day. While I understand where you're coming from, it is your parents house. The only options I see are rent a hotel room, or deal with the situation as is.

[squeeker]

I know how you feel. While I haven't officially asked my parents if my boyfriend can stay in my room, when I mentioned to them about when he wants to come here eventually, they say stuff about him being able to sleep on the couch, etc. I'm scared to ask them because while my boyfriend and I are not having sex (we're saving it til marriage, not purely for religious reasons but because we are both do not want to risk a pregnancy because we know we are unprepared for one right now), the topic of sleeping the same room would be an awkward one with my parents I think because it shows my parents that I'm growing up and that might scare them a bit. Though we are lucky that my boyfriend lives with his dad who is a pretty liberal person and let us sleep in the same bed, though while we were together he'd remind us how his parents wouldn't of let him sleep in the same bed with a girl.. I felt kinda guilty then.. lol .. but I'm waiting til closer to the time when he comes.. maybe we'll even be able to have our own place or a hotel. or maybe I will be able to have a heart to heart conversation with my mom and she might surprise me.. I just got to find the right way to explain things.. but people are right.. your parents are your parents and you have to listen and respect them.. don't get upset with them but rather try and calmly explain yourself and help them understand.. and if they are really insistent and can't be persuaded it might be best to just accept.. you guys will still be able to hang out and have a good time I'm sure.. and maybe rent a hotel for a night or more so you can spend quality time together.. good luck!

[goalie_girl34]

I think all parents are like this if youre still living at home no matter the guy an his maturity level. When I talked to my mom about trying to fly my SO out here for a visit the first thing she said was "Nothing will happen in your room." It really annoyed me becasue that was the first and only thing she said, and I was obviously not going to do anything like that in the same room I slept in as a child and in the same house as my little brother. But, I definitely understand her point. It's your parents house and you've got to respect it, rent a hotel room!

[Tomowns]

Thanks for the advice, I guess it is their rules, but seriously, it does get rather anyoing. Luck is on my side tho, as when they are going on holiday she is coming here for a few days before they get back, so ill guess we will have a few days before the rents ruin something special. Still I guess Ill just admit defeat and accept there ideas and rules

Thanks guys

[Zapookie]

My mother was like this when my SO came over. Eventually she let me snuggle with him in the same bed but that was for the last month of a three month stay. I understand that we have to respect our parents rules... but seriously. They should be happy that at least you're having sex (if you are) at home in a safe environment rather than in a car at night or in a park/public space. That's how I think of it anyways.

[DollOnAMusicBox]

Both my parents and his parents were like this. Though you may find it a bit easier to handle once everything's going on. Neither of us were held to a "bed time" but when we did go to bed we went our separate ways, to our own rooms or whatever. It was sort of nice to have that wind down time at the end of the day to be honest. Nothing against my SO but when you're having that first visit theres SO much to take in that it's almost overwhelming at times. It was nice to have a retreat almost. When we did get to spend 2 nights together, I was almost too excited to just be in his arms that I had trouble sleeping.

If you're hoping to do more than sleeping, well then get creative. Sometimes it makes it a little more exciting to sneak around like a teenager anyways. Orrr, you could do like my SO and I did and take a mini-vacation together...we chose Lodnon because thats where my flight was out of. Next time we'll probably do the same here in Boston. Its far enough away that you can't drive/get public transport home at the end of the night, so getting a hotel is only logical. And if your parents are extremists like mine...just tell them you're getting 2 beds.

[sweetleya]

Ummms, you could sneak into her room once your parents went to sleep hehe and pray you don't get caught...

[Miramaid]

Well hopefully you can take some time off work and your parents are at work during the day so u two can have some private time during the day
Yes it sux but I bet you still want your GF to come. Your parents probably do not want u to become a dad at 20 before u have ur own place to live and all.

[Bethypoo]

Basically, if she is staying at your parents house it is their rules. My dad, a retired police officer by the way so i commend you for what you do, does not like my boyfriend stay over when I am home. It is his house and he obviously doesn't want some guy sleeping with his daughter in his house (before we are married). But whatever I do anywhere else isn't an issue. Obviously he doesn't like the idea of it, but if we pay for a hotel then that is my money and business.

Can you afford a hotel for a few nights of her stay? Maybe that would help some. I defiantly understand where you are coming from though. Good luck.