Skype...problems

[Puramu]

I've known my bf for a little over 2 years and we've been together for 1 year. When I first met him we would have little skype conversations about nothing really. There were quite a few of those that I can remember. But ever since we've been together, he says he can't talk on skype anymore.

You see, he's been kind of anti-social all his life for the most part. He's been home schooled and barely even converses with his family. The weird thing is how I remember how he used to talk fine before we were together, but how come when we're together all of a sudden he can't? Also about two months ago we were in a group skype chat, and he was talking just fine in that. I asked him about it and he said it was...easier with more people.

I would like him to talk to me, even though he's not good at small talk. Usually we use skype I only talk and he types. But when I confront him about not talking he feels bad because he can't do it. It's kind of a psychological thing he claims. I try not to mention it too much to him though, I just go with the flow. I know it's normal to want him to talk to me, but I don't know how to have him do it. Sometimes he may read to me and even once he sang me a song, but that's on rare occasions. I guess I wrote all of this to ask is it selfish of me to want him to talk to me, even though it's really uncomfortable for him? I wouldn't force him of course, but...I don't know.

[garnet]

You guys haven't met in person yet, right? My guess is things will become much easier for him once you do. Are there any plans to meet up?

I was weird about talking too, until I met my then boyfriend (now fiance) in real life. I typed, he spoke. I was soooo uncomfortable with it. That being said, I don't think it's selfish of you to want him to talk. You've been together a long time. I don't understand why he would suddenly stop the way he spoke earlier on, thats quite odd? Do you think he's dealing with depression? Or taking any meds for it? That can alter your normal behavior sometimes. Just a random guess.

I wish I had an idea to try, but his sudden change when you became a couple, I just don't understand that. It isn't like you're brand new to each other, so you would think any nervousness would be gone by now...

Are you two on webcam? Or just voice/typing with skype?

I don't think I would personally just let it flow... it isn't healthy for the relationship imo. I know my fiance was infinitely happier with things once I finally got over it and spoke up. And things improved for our LDR.

I'm REALLY surprised that he would sing, but he wont talk? Are there maybe people in the room or nearby that he doesn't want them to hear him?

[Puramu]

No, we haven't met in person and he says he won't have problems when that time comes, which is whenever we can have enough money, ugh. I've asked him why he could talk in the past but not now, but it's apparently some weird psychological thing I really don't understand much. We usually only have voice chats but sometimes it's with webcams too. He does have other people in the house but that's not really a big excuse. Apparently it feels weird for him to be, I don't know, talking to a computer, hmm. I'm not asking him to go on big long rants like I do, but him having to type out little things like "ok" bothers me.

[garnet]

Yeah, finding the money for the first visit can really suck. >.<
Are phone calls affordable? He would have no choice there...
I might push the issue more. It wasn't weird to talk to a computer in the past, why is it now? There has to be some piece of the puzzle he isn't letting you in on?

[Puramu]

I did find his phone number in white pages once, but I said I would only use it for emergencies. I mean I don't exactly know the rates since he's in Canada and i'm here in the US, I have thought about that many times though.

Ok, the main problem he says is it's somewhat a fear. He took my example of my fear of spiders (ew ew ew!!) and said it's like being put in a room full of spiders. Ok, I understand that's bad, but when he's forced to talk he'll do it, for example if his mom calls he'll answer her right away, ugh. Maybe I should ask him about it again and again and again, but I'm pretty sure he'll tell me I'm being unfair. Unfair...-_-;

[Mio]

The minds works differently. Maybe he can try little by little, a month do a certain amount of pre established talking, and then increase it little by little.