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    crying.... advice welcome!!!

    Hi all,

    I hate long post so I will try to make this one short as i can....


    So my SO's parent 23rd (I think) anniversary was december 3rd. December 4th Michaels aunt messaged him.

    To sum up: Please dont rush into marriage, finish school, get a degree. Than think about getting married

    (I have done NOTHING but support him, not only do I encourage him to get his masters but his PHD as well.)

    His response: I love elizabeth, and you can expect a wedding invitation in 4 or 5 years. Neither of us want to rush anything.

    *6 weeks later*


    his aunt: I tried to hold my tongue but I cant anymore, You need to go and experience other relationships, this girl is not "the one", go to school in a different state, than in 10 years maybe you can find the one youre meant to be with. (both of us read, you need to break up with this girl and move on)

    WTH?!?!?! This lady has never met me. NEVER! It hurt my feelings so much, and between all this his uncle (her brother not husband) called to tell him that we were moving to fast. We are not moving in with each other, we are not having a baby and we ARE NOT getting married right now, so what is the big deal, why cant they let us be happy. I dont mind they love their nephew and want him to be happy, my aunts thought the same thing. Until they saw us together and saw how when i am with him none of the bs matters, he makes me happy straight through to the core.

    I really dont know what i am looking to hear. Am I over reacting. Family is really important to me, and i do want to marry michael some day.

    if you read all this thanks, i know it was long. I just dont know what to do. what to say.

    #2
    Don't let them get to you. LDR are the hardest thing I have ever done... But when it's real, it's real. And while family is important, in the end, only the two of you will matter. In my opinion, those words came from not understanding how LDRs can and do work, and are some of the strongest relationships. When it comes down to it, eventually, the two of you are going to start your own family. As you grow older, your distant relatives float away a bit. Don't give up. Stay strong in what you have with him.

    Comment


      #3
      Most people aren't open to the ideas of LDRs and they view them as a waste of time.

      I do agree on some level, if he hasn't been out on his own and experienced life, HE SHOULD, especially before talking about marriage to anyone.

      It doesn't sound like you two are in any rush to get married and that's fine, if that's the truth, bush the negative comments off. It's his aunt's opinion and she's entitled to it. It doesn't mean you won't be accepted later, it sounds like she really sees this relationship as limiting him and wants to him to experience life. The later part isn't a bad thing to encourage anyone to do (I'm not talking about being with other women).

      From the sounds of it, you guys are fine, try to not let this get to you, just because she's not embracing you or your relationship now, doesn't mean she won't in the future.

      Comment


        #4
        It's none of his aunt's business who he loves and who he's in a relationship with! Don't let her get you down. Some people immediately jump the gun on things they don't understand. Stay strong.

        Comment


          #5
          I agree with the others; LDRs are still quite a bit alien to many people, unless they're a military LDR. I'm very impressed with the way you're handling it, I'd be spitting fire right about now in your situation.
          There really isn't a lot you can do. Don't try to prove them anything. You are dating him, not his aunts and uncles and grandpappy or nephews or cousins. Family is extremely important, but it's not their business.
          Be very grateful that your SO has a good head on his shoulders and knows that your relationship is perfectly fine. Don't worry about what anyone else says or thinks. The only people that matter is you two.
          sigpic
          Began our story ~ July 1, 2007
          Our first LDR ~ August 2009
          Closed the distance ~ January 2011
          He joined the Air Force ~ January 1, 2013
          Our second LDR ~ January 2, 2013
          He proposed ~ July 4, 2013
          Our wedding day ~ December 30, 2014
          Closing the distance ~ Summer 2015

          Proud of my Airman!!


          Comment


            #6
            There are always going to be judgements about your relationship, and those who will be judgemental. And it's always harder when it's family. But they don't know your relationship like you two, they don't know the talks and comment that you guys have. there only looking from the outside. Stay strong, this is where you have to hold onto each other even more. Words hurt, but don't let it break you, and hopefully with time, they will come around.
            And as far as seeing what else is out there, I don't think you need to. I don't believe you have to go and date other people to realize the one your with is a keeper. When you know, you know. And can be that lucky one who found there love early on or on the first try.
            I love you Nathan <3
            sigpic
            5/25/09 <3

            Comment


              #7
              That is their opinion. That is it. Honestly, I understand why it bothers you. I wouldn't be to happy either. But the two of you know that you want to be together. And that doesnt men that you are getting married tomorrow. If you are both doing your own things right now and he is still (as are you) living your life, then I am not understanding what their concern is. He is not compromising for you, nor are you him. You are together while apart. That is what I say.

              Obviously he tells them that you are not getting married any time soon and that they have no reason to worry, but does he say how this is making him feel and what feelings it is bringing about for him? Other than how this makes him feel, that is all that matters. It is not their business. If he is happy and doing what he wants then that is what matters. They can get over it.
              Got together Jan 3, 2011~ Closed the Distance March 23, 2012~ Living Together Since June 19 2012~ Future TBD......

              I miss you more than I ever could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal." ~ Vita Sackville-west

              Comment


                #8
                I think their reservations are stemming from the fact that they haven't met you.

                Comment


                  #9
                  IT IS NONE OF HER BUSINESS.
                  that said, sometimes we just need to listen to such nonsenses. people are never satisfied. there will always be people telling you are moving too fast or too slow.
                  but the relationship is yours and his and only the 2 of you can really decide the future of that relationship.
                  our story.

                  sigpic

                  02.02.2012 - When we got married and closed the distance once and for all

                  "If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."

                  Comment


                    #10
                    To put it in simple terms: People suck. And people can SUCK IT.

                    Sorry about that, just had to get that out there. Nobody knows your relationship like your SO and you. Family is important, but they cannot dictate your relationship and tell you it's not real. If they think that because you both are LD, that it's not real, well that's bullshit. The future of your relationship is whatever you and your SO decide, not his aunt, his uncle, or anyone in your family either for that matter. Try not to take all of that to heart, because all of us here understand that what you and your SO have is real, 100% real and nothing will change that. As long as you both are happy, keep trucking along together happily and try not to let the naysayers get in the way. *hugs*

                    "Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches."

                    Like a drum, my heart never stops beating for you.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Thanks guys your words really helped me see, to put it eligantly like loveknowsnodistance27, people can suck it. Haha

                      But really your words really have helped me.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Some family is just like that. When Robert and I first met, ( Him 15 I 16 ) My dad told me he needed to get a job and support me -_-' at 15, really? Like we were going to move and get an apartment at that age or something.

                        Pretty much all both of you two can do is ignore it and politly ask her to stay out of the relationship.
                        " There is always hope.
                        "

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