How to deal with instability?

[goalie_girl34]

Not quite sure what to do here, and I dont know if anyone else can relate to this but I figured I would ask for some advice.

The instability I'm referring to is more of my SO's future and our future together but not from a relationship stand point. Our relationship is amazing, we dont fight over anything. We're both very supportive and devoted to each other. We're just two laid back people totally in love and ready to share our lives. The stability relates to our living situation and me making the leap to close the distance.

My SO lives in Oklahoma and I was completely ready to move out there in 6 months time as long as I had the money together. But my SO is also a semi-pro athlete and it has come to his attention that there is a realistic possibility that he may be traded and end up in Kansas in a short amount of time. To me its difficult because I visited him in Oklahoma, looked at schools there and set up all my plans according to his living situation and the environment in Oklahoma. Now knowing that he may move to an entirely new place that I havent really experienced or done my reasearch on to see if its feasable for me I'm a little worried. But my mom is kicking me out in 6 months regardless and I know I want to be living with him at that time.

What should I do? How can I prepare myself for this kind of instability and does it really matter from one state to another? Having his place in OK already was a major plus, and I knew my plan of action. Now, I'm not so sure. Has anyone dealt with this before? What is your advice?

[Sierra]

I haven't had to deal with this, but if I was in your shoes I would talk to you SO about how you guys can make sure you travel together. You mentioned school, are you still working on finishing a degree or just starting? Does he have a date that he should know if he's going to Kansas or not? Or a time frame for how long he'll be there? Like forever? A year? Half a year? Two years? Three years?

Your plans can work no matter where you go, if it's feasible, you can go to community college (I don't know what you have yet to complete or anything) or maybe even do school online.

To me, all those states down there including the one I'm moving to, yeah they aren't that different. Obviously your school choices would be different, but it's a flat state with a lot of tornadoes (I think or I could be basing that off the Wizard of Oz, but I know it's flat).

What's your SOs plan of action? Can you guys come up with one that includes the both of you? Want to move in with me in Texas? I'm going in six months.

It sounds like you're under some stress here, with having to move out in six months but I'd just see what happens. When will he know if he's going to Kansas or not? Have you talked to him about how you're feeling?

[Bethypoo]

When will he know if he will be traded? I mean, maybe you can start a life together in Kansas. Would that be bad? I mean at least you are together. I would just keep saving and research your options in kansas. That way no matter which way he goes, you have some what of a plan.

[digitalfever]

What's the timeline like?

Are you starting your BA, MA or transferring credits? If your starting out then sending out a few applications is not that complicated and would be pretty simple. I will warn you that transferring is never easy and is basically a money grab. Research your schools and make sure you make the right decision for you and your future. I think sending out a few applications to schools in Kansas wouldn't hurt just to keep your options open.

[kiti28]

Hei! You know sometimes what we plan doesn't work out and we get confused and stressed out and so on.But I have learned through many years that changes are only for good never for bad.Maybe you can't really see any good in it for now but you don't really have to.Just trust the universe that there is something better it wants to give it to you and make that step and have all your faith.Cause if you start to think, what really matters is that you can finally be with your SO and who cares where? As long as you are togehter you can make it anywhere and thats what we all here want at the end, to close the distance and be with our loved ones.You are very lucky to close the distance,so just enjoy whats waiting you both ahead and everything else will be just great

[goalie_girl34]

Thanks for all the replies everyone.

As far as the timeline, neither of us knows. He just found out yesterday that he may be traded, he told me this morning. I asked him when he would know but he says he has no idea. He just has to wait and see.

With school I started at a 4 year California State school where I completed nearly all of my GE credits. Because of some difficulties and switching my major I moved back home to attend community college until I found a proper place to transfer. I finished my GE at the CC and this semester I start towards my major of graphic design. The plan was to move to Oklahoma and either A) Take a year or two off to establish residency so I wouldnt pay out of state tuition and work to save money or B) Take one semester off, get my transfer stuff ready and start school at Oklahoma State - Tulsa. I was almost poisitve I would go with option A because monetarily it just makes sense. I went and saw the school, it was in a good location for me and it has an excellent graphic design program. I'm really hoping he doesnt get traded so I can move to where I was prepared to go and start school there.

It's just stressful to me because like I said earlier, regardless of where he is I am moving out in 6 months and both of us have agreed we want to be together. Regardless of where he lives I want to be with him and frankly I cant afford to move out in 6 months and stay in California. I was actually very excited and happy to move to OK because I like the area and the cost of living there. I dont know anything about Kansas... My worries are that it will be more difficult because instead of one of us being in a new environment both of us will be, and also I'm worried my mother will be less supportive than she already is of me moving out there. I will still go if that's the case but I dont want the extra negativity.