Hey
I know there have been alot of threads lately about 'Time' and giving eachother space, but i felt like every situation is different so I guess I had to make a new thread.
Well, we are 6months together right now. Everything have been going great, we have sometimes a discussion, then again an amazing time. We were talking all day, in and out, stay up late and look at eachother and just smile, wich i love to do. But i guess everyone has this period the first months of his/her relationship.
So well now a few days ago she did let me know she want some more time, she doesn't want to spend all her day with one person, she also wants to focus on other friends and have a piece back of her old life. I knew this would come, I am home all day -i quit school and have no job right now-, so all I do is wait for her to come home (she is 5hours behind me) from school, and when she is online I am like a little puppy that jumps on her and all I can think of is talk to her because i feel like 'Ahh Finally, she is here!'. Because i know the distance steals already a lot of our time, like not being able to sleep next to each other, wake up next to each other, which means the only time we have to communicate and actually 'be with each other' is the time that she is behind her laptop/desktop, so when she is back from school and other priorities. Phone isn't an option neither, since the connection wont allow us to text or call. We are both in love for the first time, like serious love, i notice she does love me, and she knows i do love her, and we are always being honest to eachother, wich is necessary if you want to keep the relationship rolling.
Yesterday she basically told me that this can't continue, because I simply won't give her the time that she does need. I guess I woke up then and realized this isn't the way to have a relationship. I am not suppose to wait here all day and be impatient for her to come online and then 'steal' her time, because all I expect from her when she is online is that she does talk to me, but that isn't the way to have a relationship. She is very social and likes to talk to friends time by time, also likes to sometimes play a game -just like me, but i totally lost that interest lately-. I told her I agree everything that she said and I'm not suppose to be like this, that i really have to change. I need to be able to distract myself, I might go work again, or try to do some course or just be more around friends. I simply thought a little to much about me, cause i am the one who still has all the free time when I am waiting for her, but once she is online i try to dedicate all my time to her, without understanding that she didn't have any free time at all yet. So I know I have been too pushy with all this. I am just worried that i might be to late to still fix this, but this doesn't mean i will give up to show her that i agree with her and that I can't go on like this, that i do can change and that I do want to work about this relationship.
She's also scared if she will feel the same like this once we close the distance, I didn't really know how to respond on that, but I guess that is an risk you take? You never know how things will fit once you close the distance, we are both young, these are simply thing you don't know how it will work out.
Sorry for bothering you guys with this, there is not really anything i want from you all, but tt feels good to get rid of my thoughts and share this with you guys. All I can hope for right now is that I haven't woke up too late. This isn't any discussion or anything that I do have with her, but it is something that controls our relationship, and if I wont fix this, sadly enough this relationship wont last long anymore.
I know there have been alot of threads lately about 'Time' and giving eachother space, but i felt like every situation is different so I guess I had to make a new thread.
Well, we are 6months together right now. Everything have been going great, we have sometimes a discussion, then again an amazing time. We were talking all day, in and out, stay up late and look at eachother and just smile, wich i love to do. But i guess everyone has this period the first months of his/her relationship.
So well now a few days ago she did let me know she want some more time, she doesn't want to spend all her day with one person, she also wants to focus on other friends and have a piece back of her old life. I knew this would come, I am home all day -i quit school and have no job right now-, so all I do is wait for her to come home (she is 5hours behind me) from school, and when she is online I am like a little puppy that jumps on her and all I can think of is talk to her because i feel like 'Ahh Finally, she is here!'. Because i know the distance steals already a lot of our time, like not being able to sleep next to each other, wake up next to each other, which means the only time we have to communicate and actually 'be with each other' is the time that she is behind her laptop/desktop, so when she is back from school and other priorities. Phone isn't an option neither, since the connection wont allow us to text or call. We are both in love for the first time, like serious love, i notice she does love me, and she knows i do love her, and we are always being honest to eachother, wich is necessary if you want to keep the relationship rolling.
Yesterday she basically told me that this can't continue, because I simply won't give her the time that she does need. I guess I woke up then and realized this isn't the way to have a relationship. I am not suppose to wait here all day and be impatient for her to come online and then 'steal' her time, because all I expect from her when she is online is that she does talk to me, but that isn't the way to have a relationship. She is very social and likes to talk to friends time by time, also likes to sometimes play a game -just like me, but i totally lost that interest lately-. I told her I agree everything that she said and I'm not suppose to be like this, that i really have to change. I need to be able to distract myself, I might go work again, or try to do some course or just be more around friends. I simply thought a little to much about me, cause i am the one who still has all the free time when I am waiting for her, but once she is online i try to dedicate all my time to her, without understanding that she didn't have any free time at all yet. So I know I have been too pushy with all this. I am just worried that i might be to late to still fix this, but this doesn't mean i will give up to show her that i agree with her and that I can't go on like this, that i do can change and that I do want to work about this relationship.
She's also scared if she will feel the same like this once we close the distance, I didn't really know how to respond on that, but I guess that is an risk you take? You never know how things will fit once you close the distance, we are both young, these are simply thing you don't know how it will work out.
Sorry for bothering you guys with this, there is not really anything i want from you all, but tt feels good to get rid of my thoughts and share this with you guys. All I can hope for right now is that I haven't woke up too late. This isn't any discussion or anything that I do have with her, but it is something that controls our relationship, and if I wont fix this, sadly enough this relationship wont last long anymore.
Welcome to LFAD! I just wanted to say that a time difference of more than a few hours does make things harder as far as communicating goes. My SO and I have 8 hours (I'm 8 hours behind his time zone) to deal with which is very hard. I've never had this issue in my relationship because both my SO and I aren't "social butterflies" and prefer to spend most of our time being "alone together" when we're long and close distance. But I can see in your situation how your girlfriend might need more time to herself just to have "quiet time" after getting home from school or work, and how on your end of things you have all this free time all day and are bored and impatient waiting for her to get home. I highly recommend that you do get yourself a new job and get back into school if possible, or at least do one or the other. I don't think it's good for anyone to just stay home all day with nothing to get them out of the house, honestly. It will give you something to do outside of home and some socialization so you're not just waiting all day. Another thing to consider while chatting (do you guys do Skype?) is that you can be online together and do stuff while on webcam but not actually talking, but still feel like you're together. Just like if you were together in the same room. I've heard of a lot of people who keep Skype and webcam running with their SO on the other end and they're both reading a book, or studying if they're both taking classes. If your computer can handle it, you guys can get the same movie and watch it together while you're on Skype. These ideas allow you to interact without always talking. Me and my SO watch movies online together pretty frequently. Then after the movie we'll talk about how we liked it.
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