The ex girlfriend

[dutchgirl]

This summer i'll be with my bf for 2 year.
A little bit more than a year before he met me, he was in LDR with another girl (he's from Malta, she's from Mexico, but they never met for real).
She had promised him to go to him in summer but she never did and later she broke up with him (a few months before I met him).
She deleted him from Facebook and MSN but later she regret it.
I was already with my bf and told him not to add her again, and he didn't.

Her fb wall is public and i read that she had a new bf (mexican) but after a few months they broke up.

Since October 2011 she is writing that she has been to Malta, that she loved it and that she will live there in the future.
She even put photos of Malta (the ones he had sent her) and photos of him.
Writting that she loves him soo much and that he is her bf.
It's been almost 2 years that they broke up!! Why after more than a year is she suddenly so crazy about him again?
He promised me that he didn't talk to her and he never will.

Maybe she'll be crazy enough to go to Malta and look for him.
She got his address so she can find him.


I don't like this

Anyone else with exes like this?

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

I don't want to breed mistrust, but y'know, these things can happen...are you sure he's given her no indication that there might be hope, unintentionally?
I've had similar issues in the past with an ex not-really-a-boyfriend. I thought I was really into it, but I wasn't, so I broke it off, and I'd found someone new (my current SO). I tried to be friends with him, but every time he took it as some sort of sign that I wanted him back, which, y'know, just wasn't the case from my end. I tried to be nice because I thought it would hurt him less if I was kind, and in the end, it just wound up hurting us both, because I had to be firm and angry in order to get him to back off. It wasn't fair to my SO, and to his credit, he dealt very well with it. I don't talk to that guy anymore, because I don't know how it will affect him.
I was just wondering if it was possible that something similar has happened for your SO?

My SO was very well behaved towards me when all this happened. I let him know what was happening when, and he stayed calm and collected. He let me fight my battle by myself, and didn't get involved (although there were times when he threatened to call this guy to tell him to back off). I think that when someone is still holding a torch for someone else, it's very difficult to be in any kind of contact and not just be re-opening the wounds for them, even when you're trying to tell them that you don't want them.

[Babypuppy21]

Well you can’t control her actions or what she says or posts, the only person you have influence on is your SO. If you trust him and he hasn’t given you any reason to doubt then I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Yes it her loss and your gain as such, and if your SO has given you his word you have to take that until otherwise proven.

I know that’s easier said than done, and I’m sure you’ll have doubts and we all have insecurities that may add to your doubts..but you really have to trust your SO and IF she ( the ex) bothers you then at this point ignore her..she doesn’t matter and isn’t worth it.

[dutchgirl]

Thanks for both replies! I think he's telling the truth. But I don't understand why she was quiet for about and and a half year. She didn't write anything about him and was dating other guys.
Now after 1,5 years, she is suddenly crazy about him again....what started this??
I know you don't know either, but something/someone made her think of him and she is in love with him again. I just don't understand....

[snow_girl]

Maybe she realized she made a mistake breaking up with him. Let her talk smack, you and your SO both know it is BS. Yea it is annoying but there isn't really anything you can do but both block her from your facebooks and not watch her craziness.

[carolynred]

Well you can’t control her actions or what she says or posts, the only person you have influence on is your SO.

Exactly what I was going to say. Don't worry about people or things you can't control. Your SO sounds like he will stay away from her. I wouldn't worry too much unless if she becomes in between you and your SO, but for know you both seem just fine.

I had an experience with my SO and his ex right when we started dating. His ex lives in Maine and he lives in Texas, so they were in an LDR for awhile. He found out that she cheated on him so they broke up. When she found out that my SO and I were in the picture, she constantly started texting him saying how much she loved him and that she wanted him to visit her in Maine. After some time, my SO couldn't take it anymore and just stopped responding to her. She ended up stopping as well.

Some ex's are just so clingy, give it some time and maybe she will move on.

[Sharon Q]

In this case it seems as if she felt she made some sort of mistake. As to why she waited almost two years, well I don't know.
At this point I would have him message her saying that he's moved on and to please stop. Then both of you need to block her, because frankly she sounds kinda nuts at the moment.

[dutchgirl]

Thanks for all the replies!
We are not her fb friends but her wall is public so we can still watch it. Our walls are only visible for friends, so not for her.
Probably she doesn't know that we are watching her wall. But we don't write or chat to her, so she has no idea that we know all this.
We were thinking that maybe she wants to make her ex-husband jealous....he is one of her fb friends.
We will keep ingoring her messages/photos and hope that one day she will stop.

[Bethypoo]

Maybe she realized she made a mistake breaking up with him. Let her talk smack, you and your SO both know it is BS. Yea it is annoying but there isn't really anything you can do but both block her from your facebooks and not watch her craziness.

If you trust him, and know that there is nothing going on, then don't let her and her actions cause a problem that isn't there between you and your SO. She needs to move on with her life. The only think that I think you should do, after talking to you SO and making sure that everything is good, is to have him ask her to not post stuff like that due to the fact that it is not true. But if she wont do it, there is nothing you can do and just don't look at the FB or be involved with her any anyway.

[dutchgirl]

We are ignoring her and decided to make fun of her crazy actions. I won't let my so write to her, because that's what she wants. We just hope she won't go on like this for another 2 years.