Reuniting (for some time)

[deseonadie]

Every time my boyfriend and I see each other again (December, March, and May-July...usually) we always have to adjust to each other. I take a lot longer than he does. After the initial ecstasy of seeing each other wears off, it's usually replaced by this "weird" feeling. The adjustment period is actually pretty painful, because there's so much expectation built into finally seeing each other again, that the "weird" feeling just creates doubt and fear with the relationship. We've found that it's easier if we've been apart for less than 4 months, any longer than that and the feeling is exacerbated. It's just scary. Does anyone else go through this? The first time it happened I scoured the internet for answers and found people talking about the same thing, but I can no longer find those supportive internet postings. We're fine after the adjustment period is over, so I try not to worry about it, but we're about to reunite in 5 days and I'm getting nervous

[Zephii]

I don't have this problem, but don't worry, lots of other people here have mentioned in the past that they do, too.
I have no advice really.

[So_Far_Away]

No advice, but I can tell you that I'm scared of a similar thing when we go back to close distance in (hopefully) October. So solidarity if not support.

[sam]

Me and Elina dont get that. I guess it depends how long you're together? The longest we've had together is 3 weeks and it didnt happen then, at least.
It seems like the opposite with us. Things sometimes get kinda weird online, after spending time in person together then going back to being words on the screen. I guess the missing each other and stuff doesnt help..

[ErinKristine]

My SO and I experience this in the first day or two of seeing each other after time apart. We've been together for two years and distance has always been a part of our relationship. For us the adjustment is just adapting to each other as part of our daily routines, sleeping in the same bed and sharing a living space. I think the "weirdest" part of readjustment for us is sometimes we just find ourselves sitting in silence since there's only so much information we can give eachother about our days when we've been together most of it or one of us is home most of the day while the other is working (depending on if I'm visiting him or he's visiting me).
I'd say it's normal and I don't think it means there's anything wrong with your relationship, I guess just go into the reunion knowing that there will be a period of adjustment.

[ntenzer]

I haven't really experienced this (yet). The longest we've gone apart was probably 4 months. But now, my SO is in med school and I won't see him until hopefully September but definitely December. I'm scared that it might happen but I know that we love each other and it will pass. Since you said that after the adjustment period you're fine, I don't think you have anything to worry about. It definitely is hard getting used to being around someone that much again. I mean, it takes a little bit to get back to the way things were after the summer when I move back to college, and I think it's the same thing. You both know you are in love, it just takes time to adjust and I think its fairly normal.

[MAB15]

What you are going through is completely natural. My boyfriend and I experienced this both times we had a visit. We have been together for 2 years and in a LDR for 8 months thus far. The fact that you have to adjust to each other is actually a positive thing I have realized. For a while I didn't see it that way. The adjustments will always happen for the rest of your lives. Think about how much you have to adjust to on your own as an individual. It's that much more to adjust to when your S/O is physically with you. Adjusting usually means that growth, change and 'moving forward' is happening. If this isn't happening then maybe you are in a stagnant period where growth just slows down a lot or if its always stagnant then you might not feel good all the time. But sounds like to me that you and you S/O are growing a lot! Which is the most beautiful thing in the world because you have done a lot of growing on your own and your S/O gets to experience who you are in that moment as opposed to the last moment your boyfriend was with you (and that goes the other way of course to) I also take a lot longer than he does to adjust to the 'weird' feeling...it just feels weird because everything is so different, it does not feel weird because you aren't in love anymore or anything silly like that...unless the connection really isn't there (but you would know trust me) Often what causes those doubts for me is the thoughts in my head (they repeat) and cause me to question my real feelings-my heart. Remember guys 'generally' don't think as much as women do (I am guessing by your post you are a woman) Expectations aren't usually that good...some can be, but in a LDR we do tend to put more expectations on the time being together which can be a bit stressful. It does feel scary, but just focus on the moment. (this usually helps me) My boyfriend and I are always fine after the adjustment period to...just keep that in your mind when its happening but maybe put most of your energy into what's happening in the moment. Being nervous is totally natural to, I recently experienced this bit of anxiety and it is a challenge for sure...just one step at a time, breath and you know you will get through it...It is important to just 'go with the flow' and let things happen as you work through them, don't swim against the tide

Hope this helps, I can relate A LOT so it actually helped me to!