I'm extremely upset and can't stop crying. :(

[AmandaZamar]

Me and my boyfriend had a fight yesterday (today its 3:47am on Jan 27th) I have not slept yet because this fight feels like its the end. It was over something so stupid that had to do with Second Life. It blew up into a big argument and he broke up with me and deleted me off facebook and even blocked me he even departnered me on second life. we have had fights before about stupid things but today he said he had it he wanted my email password because I had forgot to change my email back to his on his account on second life and I never told him. (my mistake yes) so he well I read through our messages now that he wanted to both swap email passwords mainly because he wanted to see what was sent from his account to my email and me being stubborn I told him no, and ugh it was a mess so we got into a fight hes done this to me before (insecurity issues that need to end on both ends) the fight was disgusting but we have had worse this one was just pointless and stupid. He broke up with me and I have been calling his house or was and no answer. Ive been so upset and afraid that this is really it for us, my eyes have been sooooo puffy from this crying I dont know what to do I emailed him because that seems to be the only way I can message him and I don't know if he will read it. We have been together for a year and 3 going on 4 months no we havent met yet and thats been my major stress with him because I really want to see him but hes been lazy, his sister thinks something is going on with him I know hes depressed lately about his life and this guy who has been a bad friend to him. I dont know what to do I dont know if he will call me or answer my calls. I'm so upset and I hate the fact that I cant just drive to his house and talk to him Canada and US seperation here. Someone help ='/ and I know, I havent been using this site like I should, we were becoming useful with this site with the handbook etc but we stopped. I dont know what to do I feel like half of me is gone. . . .

[Rach321]

I'm very sorry to hear this! It does sound like there is something bigger going on than the fight over Second Life.And if his behavior has changed enough for his sister to notice, there may be something going on (depression, drugs?, etc. that you're not aware of) I'm sorry that I don't really have advice for you. Perhaps you both need a few days to calm down and think things over. If you can, try writing him an email or letter that gives your side of the issue (without placing blame on him). Even if you don't send it, sitting down and writing down your feelings may help.

[Laura]

Okay... to me it sounds like there's a lot more to it. He's stressed about something else; you know how it is with stress. Sometimes things just build up and you snap over the silliest things. That's exactly what this sounds like. Whilst it's excruciating to do so, I'd suggest giving him a few hours (ideally until the next night) to cool off. That way he'll have had time to think, and you can have a (hopefully) calmer discussion. I hope it all gets sorted out.

[Alisz]

I'm sorry that happened *hugs* I would give him some space (as hard as that will be) for a few days to sort some things out in his head. It sounds like he's having a rough time right now and is dumping his anger on you. I know you want to help him and I totally understand feeling helpless because you're so far away, but he'll come to you when he's ready. The worst thing you can do is pressure someone and force them to tell you what's wrong. Do you have contact with his sister? Perhaps talking to her might help. You could let her know your concerns and worries about him. Maybe she can find out what's wrong and update you on the situation.

[Naori]

yeah you guys should let it simmer for a day or so ... me and my guy had fights where we are at the brink of breaking up.. we didnt talk to each other for two days.. but we missed each other so one of us had to make the contact..

but, if things work out maybe you or he should find time to go meet up... cause Canada and US is not that far away.. I wish mine was that close..

[lunamea]

I'm really sorry, too, but I have no other advice than the others already gave you. I know every minute of waiting is killing you right now, but there's not much else you can do. I guess you already told him that you at least want to talk to him when he's ready, so then you can only wait. I have no idea which way this will go, but it's important not to pressurize him or put blame on him. I guess it depends on the kind of guy he is generally and has been lately (if he changed, as you say) - I know I'm also hot-tempered (to the point of wanting to de-friend my husband on facebook if in a fit of anger...) and my hb can be like that, too (to the point of deleting pictures of us from his cell phone), but we usually come round again. I just hope all he needs is a little time and you'll be able to talk calmly about it once his anger has subsided.

[AmandaZamar]

We made up, he called me the next morning and apologized and we talked it out. I appreciate all of you so much for giving me the advice, we are working on our issues, I have to work on my frustration of him not being here even though he needs to be here. I don't know how else to get through to him I've tried everything. His family and I know hes in a serious state of depression but how much more time has to go by till I meet him its been a year and a couple months. I love him and I am here for him but I don't know how else to make it known to him that I am starting to give up if I do not see him soon. =/ anyone had any issues with seeing your SO if they were in a depressed state? I'm still in mine and trying to get out I wish I could go up but my parents don't want me leaving my country until he comes down first so they may meet him and his dad is in support of that and doesn't want me to disrespect my mother and father's wishes. BLAAAAAAH I know I'm 20 going on 21 but I can't leave without my parents blessing.

[lunamea]

I'm glad you made up again! I'd been hoping that it was only an impulsive reaction.
The main reason I went back home to visit my husband and family in winter break was because my hb and I had a rough time most of last semester and I was really depressed and wanted to see if we can make this work or not. So, *he* had to deal with me being depressed. The visit really reassured me, made me regain my faith in our relationship. Even though it is different for us, because I'll go back home for good after my year abroad, I still think you should try to visit asap, too (easier said than done, I know). I can see why your parents don't really want you to visit him on your own, but what if you brought a friend? Why can't he visit you?

As people on here will tell you, the most important thing is to at least have a date in mind when you'll eventually see each other. As a lot of people here (who met their SO online) have said: after having met him in person, it might still be harder (the first few weeks of "back to LDR" will be hell), but I think your relationship will benefit from it in the end. Right now, you might not know for sure if the two of you will connect as well in person, but once you're sure of that, you will have more faith in the relationship itself and that will give you strength to go on and stay more optimistic, I think.