Got a lot of thinking to do

[Sharon Q]

-sigh- So Robert got a phone and I called him the first time we had a talk for a good few minutes. I called the next day and tried to talk to him but he didn't want to, The next day, same thing, and today I called to apologize for continusly calling him. He didn't want to hear it saying he didnt have time to let me explain and to email him. I got pissed hung up on him and then called back a little latter. ( extensive I know. ) He pretty much told me not to call and that he needed his minutes and to talk to him via email.

Now mind you he only gets 250 minutes per month. So I understand Him being upset about my extensive and imulsive calling.

I talked it over with my counselor and have decided to give myself some time away for both of our sakes. So for the next week starting tomorrow I'm not going to check my email or call him.

We are still on break and not back together nor have we really discussed it. When ever I've brought it up he just said he was concerned with me brinnging it up so soonl. It hadn't even been a month yet.

I'm realizing that how I've been doing things hasnt been healthy. I've been so wrapped up in our relationship over the past few years that I've forgotten about my own needs just concerning me. I need to be focoused on school right now and my mental health.

So for now I'm going to take a week to myself and do what I should have done during the start of this break, worried about school instead of me and him. I'll continue to focous on school this year. ( this isnt to say I wont focous on us later on but right now its not healthy. )

He's been asking me for away time and I really havent given him any. I keep emailing and calling and annoying him, and pestering him.

Idk I just got scared of losing him but all I'm doing by acting this way is pushing him away.

Not to mention I've been really stressed.

I'm just going to focous on me, ( which is what he asked me to do in the beginning )

[digitalfever]

That’s a good step to take

[sweetshay]

Definitely! Like i've told someone previously, it's good to learn how to be alone and find what makes you happy and able to get through the day with as little thought of issues as possible. Even little things like painting your nails or doing some yoga. Whatever you don't get to do often in your busy life that you would like to do, it helps.

[ushiwakafox]

I think you're on a good path. My good friend and her boyfriend at the time (now husband) also took a break after a few year of being together. She said that she constantly tried to keep in touch with him, but she finally couldn't do it anymore and just stopped contacting him. After maybe a week or two he started trying to contact her.
I think giving yourself more time to focus on your life is what both you need.

[Sharon Q]

Thanks guys I wrote him a draft email just to get it off my chest but I wont send it until I hear from him. Once he responds I'll ask him to extend the break for two weeks. To give me time to focous on me, and I explained that I should have done that from the start of the break.

-sigh- I feel like and idiot, thank god for counselors