My birthday is coming up and I feel no love

[OLT]

deleted

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

You're going to probably hear a lot of this, but this is a case of coming out of the honeymoon period. He's probably not trying to make you feel less special, but this is a sign that your relationship is becoming more solid and stable. It's a good thing. And it's not unusual that it takes two people different amounts of time to get over the honeymoon period. Yeah, all the heat and passion is calming down, but that doesn't mean that he cares any less or loves you any less. It means he feels comfortable and trusting and happy in the relationship. It's normal.
If I were you, I would give him a chance with this birthday stuff. Wait until you have it, in your hands, before you pass judgement. It might be more incredibly special than you could possibly have imagined. It might be a big disappointment. But give him an opportunity to either prove or disprove himself. Yeah, he hasn't exactly helped himself by leaving it late, but just wait on this one. If it gets there, and you still feel let down by him, just talk to him about it. Don't just ask him to send you letters, tell him WHY it's important to you. Tell him it makes you feel close to him, and that you're missing it. Be honest and open about how you're feeling. But really, do give him a chance. He might surprise you.

[marbear31]

^^^I agree exactly with what you're saying. I think each person's way of communicating is different (check out this book called "The Five Love Languages"--it's fascinating/completely accurate), and his way of communicating might be more physical affection (for example), instead of gift giving, talking for hours, etc. It sucks, but maybe just be honest with him about your need for that sort of communication. I think it's also important to remember you could be coming out of the "honeymoon" phase as well. And that's okay. If he starts ignoring you, that's a whole other kettle of fish, but I think he's just not relying on communication as much as he used to. Give him time, but don't let him treat you like crap.

I hope you like your birthday gift!! I'm sure it'll be wonderful--and don't forget, mail services (especially international ones) are notoriously crap for sending gifts, so being more flexible about the arrival date is jus something that us LDRers have to deal with. :P