Does anyone else have this problem??

[dynomitegurl]

Okay so my boyfriend is the type that procrastinates and likes to do things without planning. As for me, I'm a total planner. Sometimes it just gets extremely frustrating and annoying trying to get through to him the importance of planning things. Its hard for me to try just let him do things at his own pace because I know when I do...it takes him forever. I'm pretty sure that my always wanting to plan things gets on his nerves too. Does anyone else have this problem? Any Advice?

[Sara]

i'm afraid that i've been on the opposite end of this problem, many times. things like visit planning, holidays, and gifts, always seem to create the most trouble. i think the best thing for you to do, is to try to be clear to him about what you think is important to plan. if you focus on a specific thing, like something you want to do together, he's probably more likely to respond well. if you establish the kinds of things that are most important to plan together, then maybe the other stuff he doesn't keep up with you on won't be so annoying.

[MAB15]

Okay, I definitely know what you mean! My boyfriend loves to just go with the flow of things and take it one day at a time and live in the moment (and for the most part I do to) but I am way more of a planner than him. I had a situation happen where I am trying to figure out what I want to do when I come home (where I will live) and we plan on living together...but he needs to figure out if he's going to school or not but he's procrastinating and I really want to know where I'll be living because I do not have a house to come 'home' to. Anyways so yah the key is patience. He is more laid-back for a reason and you are a planner for a reason...you are both meant to learn from each other, as am I and my boyfriend. It may be really important to you to plan things but it isn't necessarily that important to him and he doesn't have to be to right. I am trying to learn to accept that my S/O isn't like me in that sense and it is kind of a beautiful thing actually! It may be hard to allow for him to have the space to go at his own pace because you are use to your pace, but this quote that my dad told me once has really helped me "You cannot force a flower to bloom when it isn't meant to, you cannot force a butterfly to grow wings when it isn't ready" so perhaps just accepting him as he is and having patience is crucial (always growing in this area though, I know I sure am!) It may take him forever but there is no rush, just allow him to room to grow in that area as he is meant to. Maybe that is just how he is and how he'll always be...so what do you do? You cannot force someone to grow at your own rate because we are all different beings with different needs and beliefs and opinions The fact you both get annoyed with each others need to plan and not plan is just natural but practice patience and you will see a difference Hope this helps! Best wishes and everything is okay!

[Hannah]

This is my situation EXACTLY. My boyfriend has a job and can't really miss even a week of work without getting fired, but I am constantly badgering him about finding out when he can come up again. He tends to either make empty promises to make me quit nagging him or get irritated with my constant pushing for solid plans.
I think I have a right to be so anal about planning though; plane tickets get more expensive by the day!!

[kraut]

Ha! I have the same problem. Except it's not just him it's his family too. Yesterday I received an invite to his grandparent's 50th anniversary party. The party is today! lol I'm kind of sad that I can't go because I have to work today

[agentholli]

i have the same problem too....i think its a girl, guy thing...unfortunately, that is what makes girls different from boys.

[dynomitegurl]

thank you all for your advice and your stories of how you deal with your situations!

@ agentholli: i think so too unfortunately it's hard to change a man! is it just me or is it not annoying that men cant make plans?! lol grrr I guess that is only part of the people we love :P

[agentholli]

it is SUPER annoying!! Its extra annoying to me, because I still haven't met Mark, and he just doesn't want to set final plans...what can you do..I just love him, and that includes his faults

[dynomitegurl]

it is SUPER annoying!! Its extra annoying to me, because I still haven't met Mark, and he just doesn't want to set final plans...what can you do..I just love him, and that includes his faults

oh trust me I KNOW! Yeah I can see how that would be annoying especially since you all havent met. Simon has been annoying in the fact of procrastinating in getting my ticket to come back over to see him....his waiting ends up costing him money, but does he listen to me...no lol MEN! i hope you all get to meet soon!

And indeed, it includes the good and the bad!!

[agentholli]

lol that is so funny because I keep telling Mark that the longer he waits to get a ticket, the more money its gonna cost him...I guess they just don't understand that...lol yes truely MEN! haha

[Tanja]

Andy and I are the complete opposite, he is the planner and rational one whereas I'm the spontanious and sometimes irrational one - I always get very excited about things and I'm very very impatient. Andy always thinks everything through and makes solid plans and he will follow them through, probably cause he's a mathematician so he just likes to calculate everything and always have a back-up plan. I think he balances me out quite perfectly lol.

We don't argue about it though, he knows how I am and I know how he is and usually it's just a good thing that he keeps my feet on the ground when I'm about to jump from excitement.