Looking For Support System

[mrshutcho9988]

Hi Everyone my name is Samantha im a US citizen from Florida. My Husband is an Australian Citizen and we've been together for 3 years-with actually only being physically on the same continent, same time zone, same space for 1 year total. He just left yesterday and my family is very supportive, but I feel like the best support can come from other people going through the same thing as me. We're married and very secure in our relationship so that isn't a problem, its just so damn hard to get use to spending every second together, and then he is gone and your not sure of when you will see each other again. We were going through immigration, but I lost my job and I was unable to find someone to sponsor him for me, so he has no choice to go back, and basically start over. He got a job that is making great money, but we will be unable to see each other for at least 5 months so he can get set up there, pay off debts etc. I feel sick to my stomach, and just generally lethargic. I am constantly online (waiting for him to get on Skype) lol. Is anyone else out there feeling like me? Im sure there is! Please dont hesitate to send me a message on here, or email me @ sammijo9988@yahoo.com. Id like to hear your story, and offer my support.

Best Wishes

[n3rdkate]

I know the feeling well kinda. I have sporadic times of depression where I just don't feel like doing anything. I'll literally just lay in bed and listen to music or play games on my computer. It sucks but it'll all be worth it in the end =)

[mrshutcho9988]

Thats what ive been doing all day, just laying around sitting here waiting for his plane to land lol I know it will be worth it, but grrrrrrrrrrr.

[n3rdkate]

Aww...My SO always tells me to keep busy but I don't feel like it lol. I actually spend most of my time on this website or beating him in games lol. I craft and bake like a lot. It all just sucks and I hate it lol

[mrshutcho9988]

Yeah right now Im in the grieving stage, Ive done this about 4 times before, so I know Ill get through it, but with just losing my job I have so much time to spare. Im contemplating on whether or not to even try to find a job because next time I see him I will be moving to Australia, so not sure. It's so complicated, and frustrating, and costly that Im overwhelmed before I even start lol

[n3rdkate]

Aww take a deep breath lol. Do you have a date yet as to when you're going to move to Australia?

[mrshutcho9988]

lol No not yet unfortunately. This decision was seriously made about 2 days ago lol He has to get established in Australia, work for a while, has to buy a car, save to get a place, etc so all that has to happen before we can even attempt it. He wants to go through a lawyer to make sure we do it right, so even more expense on top of that. I cant go there on a visitor visa, I have to wait for paperwork to be accepted and approved. I looked online and it usually takes 3-4 months to process everything, so on top of waiting to be able to go, saving for car, apartment, furnishings, a ticket, paying everyday expenses, lawyer fees, immigration fees, etc..its looking like anywhere from 6-8 months maybe as soon as 5 if he works 6 days a week. Ahh just typing that could give me a panic attack LOL how long have you guys been separated?

[n3rdkate]

Oh jeez thats a lot lol. That makes my head spin just reading it lol. We've been separated 7 months now. We started out CD for the first year and a half of our relationship. We're both working on living together but that takes time and money and right now he's the only one with a job so its tough.

[mrshutcho9988]

I hear you on that for sure it is defenitly hard!! Over in Australia they make on an average 3 times more money, and since hes living with friends he wont have that much cost right away, but hes going to be paying for my bills on top of saving so its going to be a long road. It's nice to know that there are thousands of people going through the same thing at any given moment. 7 months omg!! Thats a long long time, is it expensive for you to visit? Be thankful you dont have immigration worries LOL i tell everyone, dont ever fall in love with someone from another country you will have so much trouble lol I dont care if your 100 miles or 10,000 miles its tough either way.

[n3rdkate]

I agree. It's not to expensive to visit but my boy doesn't want a visit. He wants me to save up my money for the big move. Plus I'd have to stay at a hotel since his parents won't let me stay there. We both moved back home after we finished school in Florida lol. Just thinking about expenses is nerve wracking lol

[marbear31]

Sweetheart, that absolutely sucks. *hug* I'm in an international relationship myself, so I understand the immense distance/money factors/etc. I'm sorry you lost your job, and that you're having to deal with all this at once. I understand, the whole "I feel like I'm constantly in suspension, wanting to talk to him, just be with him, crying some nights just because I miss his touch so badly" thing. I'd say just push yourself to other activities--look for job opportunities, even temporary ones, throw yourself into doing things you love so you're not just sitting around, and make an effort to live life to the fullest, and be the woman he's fallen in love with, not just a shadowed version of yourself. I offer my prayers and hugs and send my love to you! I'm missing my boyfriend particularly painfully at this moment, too, so sending out much empathy to you! <3 <3 <3

[mrshutcho9988]

Thank you!!! Every LDR is hard, but international ones I think are a bit more frustrating and agonizing. My husband just left yesterday so I have to go through the whole what do I do without him phase, it will pass. I have spent most of the day cooking, and being with family. I figure if im going to be moving to Australia in the next 6 months, I might as well use this time to be with family, & do things I couldn't do with him here (like watch the notebook twice a day) lol. Its nice to feel like im not the only person having to deal with this. Its comforting, and I really appreciate it. What is the distance between you guys? What's your story id like to hear it. Thanks for the support. I offer my empathy to you as well, stick with it, its definitely worth all this heart-ache.

[mrshutcho9988]

Yeah so I guess just have to push through now that sucks..but in the end you will be so happy you wont care what you had to sacrifice now. I think about all the $ im going to have to come up with and it gives me a panic attack so I have to just take one thing at a time, one day at a time! its definitely a lot to handle though!