Just wish I could freaking go home! ( just venting )

[Sharon Q]

So Robert and I arn't on talking terms too much other than the occasional email I get from him. Fair enough we are still on break. I've sorta lost hope for us getting back together.

I currently go to Job corps and an aquantiance of mine ( not really friend but I knew the guy and he's pretty cool.) Tried to commit suicide. By jumping out of the four story center from the top floor. He some how survived and is at the local hospital in critical condition.

At first I didn't think I knew him ( I'm not good at remembering names ) and then my old friend zack ( we are on talking terms but I don't consider him a friend really ) Told me I did know him and described him. As soon as I remembered his face I started crying, This guy was always nice to me, never had anything bad to say about anyone and always helped people. Almost the entire school was in tears.

To make it worse some of my friends saw it happen. And they even described it to me, ( not good seeing as I picture things when told about them )

I was also in security getting ready to have one of the staff members take me to work base.

After lunch class was canceled for the day I felt totally drained and went to bed, then they woke me up to go to a staff/student meeting and informed us that he was in critical condition, that its a 50/50 chance he may live and that there is some brain injury.

After all this I went back up stairs and tried to go back to bed, but then I kept thinking about the last email I got from Robert asking me not to call again and to just email him and to be more considerate if I wanted to be his friend. Making me lose hope for us getting back together, but right now thats not important. Its just something extra weighing in my mind.

I called my mom after all of this to let her know what happened and ask if I could come home for the weekend. The thing is the school wont send me home I have to have someone come get me. And with my mom sick and my dad working Idk who can do that. ( i'm 45 minutes away from home atm )

at this point I just feel numb, I need a break, from school, from crap with me and Robert, from myself. just from life ingeneral. I just want to go home and see my mom and dad, I want to snuggle in my blanket and watch tv for the next three days.

[Manoek]

Wow.. your story chokes me up.. when it rains.. it pours..

Things will be better for you!! Sometimes you just need to be sad, and numb... its ok! There will be better days!

There is always something to be thankfull for, hold on to the positive, even though it's hard to find at this moment!

[Engel]

I hope you feel better. those things can get to us really badly. I had never had a friend die, until the end of 2010, that is. He was a nice friend (not on calling on the phone to tell about our lives term, but to see each other every other weekend, and having many many friends in common, and me giving him rides home more than once after parties, and him being ever so lovely to me, always). Even though he wasnt my best friend, when he died it got to me, i felt numb, how someone can be just gone like that, someone my own age, with so much life ahead of him, so so we thought.

I really have no words to console you, all i can say is those things get to us, wanting or not. Just go home, hug your parents, tell everyone you love how they are important to you, be kind to yourself, snuggle in your blanket as you said.

Hope you feel better. *hugs*

[Sharon Q]

We got an update at 9:30 this morning from staff. He was doing relitivly good last night, he had some brain activity and one eye was responsive when checked by the doctors. That was at 12:20 last night. This morning at 9:30 the staff called an assembly and informed us that he had passed on.

I'm doing okay I didn't know him very well. I'm sort of numb to the situation because this has happened to me before where a friend of a friend has comitted suicide, three different people, three different schools.

At this point I just feel things like this follow me, each time its been indirectly. Someone I hardly knew.

Right now I'm just going to take my mind off of that by helping my friends through this.

As for myself I'm okay.

[goalie_girl34]

So sorry to hear about his passing.

Stay strong, I know it seems like your life is a bit of a shit storm right now. I hope you can get home soon. During times like these familiar faces and the unconditional and unwavering love of our families get us through. As for your relationship that email does sound like he is not interested, it may be over. Give yourself sometime to gather your feelings calmly and voice to him that you'd like to know for sure what you are to him now. Friend or lover? I have never been a fan of breaks because I believe it leaves one person or the other wondering what is over and what's a break and gives them something to worry about day after day. Once you have a definitivee answer youj'll be able to either work things out or accept the outcome, deal emotionally and move on.

We're all here for you in case you need to talk.