Dealing With Visit Disappointment

[elina]

Talked to him about it and he said he'd do everything he could to get the shift covered. If he can't, I'm not going. I have to say if I don't go I'm going to be devastated. It'll just be another Valentine's Day ruined.

I'm glad you guys talked about it, and I really really hope he'll get that day off, so you can go and feel good about going, knowing you'll actually get to spend some time together. Let us know how it works out?

[Sierra]

I will for sure, I said please get your shift covered or pretend to be sick lol
We'll see what happens. He said he's working with a ton of people tomorrow so he'll ask everyone he sees and a manager owes him a favor so we'll see. Fingers crossed.

[agirl]

Best of luck! So, did he say he just forgot to get the shift off originally?

I would be so angry. I HATE waiting around on my SO when I visit, and that's when we both agree & know that he needs to work while I'm there!

[Sierra]

He was able to get the Sunday shift covered so I'm happy. It means we get to spend one whole day together. Thanks everyone for your support. Of course I'm annoyed that he'll be working while I'm there but it's what I have to do to spend some time with him, and well, that's what real life will be like.

I have a major case of the Valentine's Day blues though. That's ok, I just keep telling myself I'll see him the day after tomorrow.

[elina]

I'm glad he got Sunday off after all, what a relief. Hope you have a wonderful time with him and get to spend Valentine's Day properly together

[Sierra]

Me too! Even though last night he was telling me "Oh blah, blah, blah wants to hang out Sunday" I just yelled NO!!!!!!!!! I WANT TIME ALONE FOR US!!! And he cracked up.

[Engel]

Yeah I can ask him if I can. You're not pestering at all, I want the help. I just feel really disappointed.



Honestly, I think I'm going to be EXTREMELY annoyed just sitting around waiting for him. I mean he works 8 - 10 hour days, doesn't come home until late, late at night. And while I'll get to spend part of the morning with him, it'll just be for a few hours.

Before he was suggesting I hang out with his friends, but the one friend who was saying she wanted to be my friend has my phone number and has never reached out so I feel EXTREMELY shy about reaching out and that I would be a burden and I don't want to do it. If they don't want me around that's ok and their choice and I have to respect it.

He didn't mention anything about why he didn't get the Sunday off. I don't know why he didn't ask for it. And now he's twisted it into me saying I wanted a 'normal weekend with him', which wasn't what I said at all. He volunteered to take the Sunday off before I booked the tickets. He could have forgotten and he said there's a 1% chance someone will cover his shift, which to me just means he won't ask.

My tickets are nonrefundable and nonchangeable but I may be able to call them with a sob story and get the tickets pushed back to another time. I can't help but feel like it would devastate him if I did this but I don't want to just ... be there alone when we are supposed to be celebrating Valentine's Day.

do ask him about his clothes! I've used my SOs winter clothes countless times! specially when i didn't have many of my own. but even now that i do have winter clohtes, sometimes i put his on, just to feel his smell and because they are comfortable.:reface:

i understand you are disappointed, i would be too! buy a book, a book you want to read for some time already, and take it with you. go to a coffee, starbucks or something, bring the book with you, read, enjoy a hot coffee or latte (helps a lot when the weather isn't helping), go to the cinema on your own if you are comfortable with that (i don't mind going to the cinema on my own, i actually quite enjoy it)

do you have a special stuffed animal you like? bring it with you so you ca hug it when he isn't around, that used to help me when i was long distance or when my SO is working long hours and i just feel like i need a hug

[loveknowsnodistance27]

So glad it worked out that you get the day together. Have fun!!

[Ivy]

Everything is set? Good one. And I must say I reaaaaally relate - right now, I am sitting on my SO's couch, waiting for him (every day since monday) to come home from work. Thankfully , before I come last week he got his overtimes, everyday he worked for 2 hours more so he can work 2 hours less this week. So this is good enough for me.We get to spend all evening and some of the afternoon together. Even though he is so tired of work. But as some of you said, if moving in together is in future - we gotta get used to this schedule. I hate it too, I don't find it particularly amusing sitting and waiting some more. But it's way better. Time spend together is precious and imagine how much I try to use it, last night I got mad at him that he wanted to take a long relaxing bath instead of quick shower. I was really egoistic haha. I just feel that Sunday is coming so fast, and I already feel so sad and depressed about saying bye (((((((((( It really gets to me this time! (( It sucks.

p.s. - whatever happens, hug him hard and live in the moment!

[Sierra]

For sure Ivy. I want to get used to the being alone part but I guess what upset me is that I spent all this money to go out there and see him but not to be alone, that wasn't our plan. If he had told me he had to work Friday - Sunday I wouldn't have flown out. He is working Friday and Saturday nights, I am just bringing a book, going to watch Netflix, probably take a nap and play some video games. Not my idea of how I want to spend my weekend with my boyfriend but I'll take what I can get. I'm thankful to get to spend time with him at all you know?

I just can't wait to I guess be in the normal life routine, these visits are starting to take a toll on me.

[Ivy]

Yes, I know. I really want NORMAL too.
And it certainly sucks to go on there, just so you can sit on his couch. I am leaving in 1 day and this past week we seen late afternoon after his work and evenings he is sleepy and tired. I just try to imagine that when I move here, I won't be bothered by how long is he missing from home,because then I will see his face everyday. Ah it's hard, and we all know it. Courage!

[rsvpnj]

I used my SO's clothes last year when we went skiing because I had absolutely nothing...