rough Valentine's day

[dorabase93]

my SO and I have been fighting for the last 3 days. she told me that I neglected her and took her for granted. After a while of thinking, I realised that I did somehow neglected her and made she feel like that. Recently there're so many thing bugging my mind (school, family...) and I couldn't focus on all of them. But I admit that I was wrong not giving so much care about her posts of fb, not writing as much emails as before.
This afternoon there's a package came and it was my SO's vday gift and I wasn't able to receive. When I talked to her about it, and said that tomorrow I will get that package, she told me that I wasn't so excited about her gifts and got mad with me. this time it's serious. I told that she was hurt because she prepared this gift 2 months ago and said this is not what it deserves. I apologise and she said she got tired of apologies. What should I do now? I don't want to lose her, especially on this day.

[marbear31]

Awww I'm sorry!! I know what you mean--it's so hard to balance everything. *hug* You can do it, though! Show her that care a LOT tomorrow--maybe write her a poem, draw her a picture, a list of why you love her--something that she will see as unique and treasure. You know her better than I do (obviously :P), but just get the sentiment across about how much you care for her. Best of luck, and I hope you have a great Valentine's Day!!!

[dorabase93]

thanks for your kind words I bought some roses, and wrote a vday card but unfortunately she couldn't get on skype to see them and she didn't sound so happy when I talked about what I did. I'm feeling so bad right now oh karma

[fitfilipina]

Aww, I'm so sorry

I've been in your place before. For a while, our relationship was really rocky and we were constantly fighting because of LD insecurity and trust issues on my part. On the night of our 10 month anniversary, we were yelling at each other on the phone and he even suggested we take a break, so it was a hard hit, especially since we really like our monthly anniversaries and do cute things for each other then. What I'd suggest is to show EXTRA care. Even if you're busy, take the time out to show her that you care and that she's a priority. If you have little time, just send her a note letting her know she's on your mind. Be extra attentive and romantic, even if it may be difficult for you to express that. She said she's been feeling neglected, so make her feel extra special. If you have to, have a serious talk with her that you've been busy and stressed lately and that you're really not neglecting her because she's still at the forefront of your mind while you're doing all these things and that your love for her hasn't changed despite not having paid as much attention lately. Good luck!

[Fra101]

Well I've been there before, it seems that once your in a good place in your relationship simply slacking off a wee bit can unravel all the good days you've gone through recently. You won't lose her, sometimes when you think you sound appreciative or enthusiastic about your SO's gift it doesn't always appear that way, it's happened to me many a time :P It can get annoying if you say you're sorry over and over again so phrase it in a different way and try and do something to make it up to your SO, and then you can take it from there

[uniquefem]

huffftt... i am on the same boat as your SO.

My so always been busy with works, he just moved back and seemed still trying to settle down there and lately he not even had chance to write emails or chat with me, always "im busy" just like that. I felt the same way like your SO does and its really bothering me until now. I finally burst out on Valentine days and got so mad and wrote lines of lines crazy stuff like he doesnt care at all. He dont even had chance to say happy valentines or anything like that, no mails, no offlines no phone calls.

I dont know how youre SO is, but for me when you're on and LDR communication is very important. I had this experience, horrible when i was in University, a friend of mine also had LDR, and one time she cant contact her SO until two weeks later, she said its just all right because he sometimes get too busy that he cant even wrote offline msgs on yahoo messenger. He normally will contact her on daily basis or at least several times per week. But one day when she got online and someone else told her that her SO passed away because of a car crash. How tragic that would be???

I could remember how she goes crazy. SO in USA and shes in Indonesia. For over 2 weeks she doesnt know that her SO already buried. He's gone and just like that... she never even had chance to say good bye.. cant come to his services... She kept telling sorry for all the fun thing she did, while thinking he was gone and she just dont know. Its just very bad thing to see one of your friend goes crazy like that... but..could you ever imagine that happened to you??

I dont know how i could handle those things if its ever happens to me... i really dont know. So when i loose contact with him all this bad thought coming to me and drive me nuts. I dont know why guys cant understand a simple mail, a hello could ease all of this bad feelings.

When you love someone, the biggest fear is to loose them.... because there is only one them in this world.. nothing could ever replace it. If you do love her please.... do contact her every day for at least saying you think of her or you love her.

I still havent talk with my SO about this, but soon. He said sorry already... but i just hope he never took me for granted anymore just because knowing that i will always be there for him ALL THE TIME.

Its not the roses, its not the presents that most girls want, just one or two minutes of your time to made us believe that you do feel the same way like we do that you miss us and you love us.

Hope things get better with you and your SO.

[dorabase93]

Thanks for your help my SO and I had a long talk about this after a whole day without seeing each other but it turned out to be good we made some compromise. I would try my best and spend as much time as possible and she wouldn't expect too much I guess that was one big challenge and I'm glad we made it through