Nothing came on V-day :(

[beaton]

So, I'm bummed. I'm PMSing and irrational. I just need to vent.

When we talked about Valentines day I said that I didn't want us to do anything crazy. What I meant by that was that he didn't have to rush out and buy me a dumb "heart" necklace or anything flashy. He said "Yeah, "I was just gonna send you something." So I assumed, you know, a card.
I spent a few hours making him a cute card and sent him some of his favorite candy- nothing special, just a token. I enjoyed it-it was fun picturing his face when he opened it. I rushed to mail it and make sure it got there on the day.
When we skyped on V-day ( because I asked him if we could, it wasn't a date or anything special), he thanked me for my card and said "Man, you're making me look bad." I asked him what he meant, and it turns out he didn't send me anything because "Valentines day is pointless." He told me before that he was going to send me something!
When he realized I was bummed he was like "Fiiine, we can go on a date next time I'm there."

It's not the same. He didn't put any thought into the day at all. If he hadn't told me he WAS going to send me something it wouldn't have been as disappointing, but he doesn't even remember telling me that!
OK. I get it, it's a hallmark holiday. I get that there shouldn't be a specific day to do something special for your SO, but it's not like he's ever sent me anything on any OTHER day. It's still nice to check your mail and see that little red envelope. It's a day brightener. I said that I was kind of bummed about it and he made fun of me, because he thinks it's funny when I do stereotypical "girl" stuff- like get emotional over cute animals, and apparently, when I expect a romantic holiday to be romantic. I was really sad, though. I'm PMSing really hard, so I know I'm probably blowing this way out of proportion but I'm really sad I had to watch my roommates doing cute things with their SOs all week, and didn't even get a stinkin' card.

[Katelyn]

I understand I'm in the same boat. I was hoping for a card or something. I also told him to not buy me anything crazy. I guess he took it as don't do anything and ignore the day. I guess we need to be more direct haha. But, yeah I agree it was a bummer. Especially when they say they will do something and don't (I am still waiting for a christmas gift haha, but I am over it lol) I feel bad bringing up that I was upset because I pretty much told him not to do anything.

[Amatory]

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. D: I would be so upset, too. An ex of mine used to do things like that all the time, but then.. he was actually kind of an ass. It's understandable though. I often forget the things I've said, and I'd feel so bad if I did what he did. nn;

[beaton]

Yeah, I'm trying not to be upset, he is really not a gift guy. I get that maybe he's more of a "lets go do something together instead" person, but this is a LDR. We aren't together, so the gifts count!

[Katelyn]

Yeah, it's hard not to feel upset..especially when everyone is enjoying the day and whatnot. I wish my SO understood that gifts were important. I know people are always like "well if you give gifts or write letters than he will get the hint and do the same" but my SO has never caught onto that. I always feel like I'm forcing a gift or letter out of him. I dunno...it is frustrating.

[ushiwakafox]

I guess we need to be more direct haha.

I think that's a big one in this situation. I personally am the type of person who doesn't naturally ask for things, because it makes me feel like I'm being selfish. But my SO is the type of guy to think "well if she doesn't care enough to spit it out, why should I?"
Yes it's really awesome to have a guy who is super romantic and surprises you with lavish gifts, and even just a simple card and say "I knew you'd want something special, even though you said not to go all out" But in reality, a lot of guys don't think this way. It's not being selfish, and in the end, it probably would have been better to just not say "well don't go all out" that makes you sound like it's not a big deal to you, therefor giving it little importance to him.
I think us gals give too much credit to our SOs. Help them out, give them a much bigger, more obvious hint. You know what you want, now be confident and let him know what you want.
I am this way now because the type of guy my SO is demands me to be more direct and confident in myself.

[littleblue]

It may be that he feels a bit uncomfortable and unsure about gifts. I am terrified of gifts - I hate receiving them, because I get all embarrassed and while I love giving someone something I KNOW they will like, I am so scared of giving a gift the recipient would hate. I panicked so much over valentines day, and in the end, I just sent him a card, and even that was late, because I didn't post it enough days in advance.

I am absolutely in love with my SO, and I got so stressed over valentines because I felt as though I was supposed to give him a gift. He sent me roses and fairy lights to brighten up my boring student room and I did feel awful for not sending anything. But I really didn't know what to send that was thoughtful and I didn't want to give a gift just for the sake of it.

People who say Valentine's is pointless seem to be judged as either single and bitter, or lazy and cheap, or unloving, but I really don't like valentine's as it has been turned into a money making scheme, that adds pressure to a relationship. It's supposed to be about loving the person you're with, not showering them with gifts and cards. Its just one day out of the 366 we get this year