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My girlfriend is feeling the distance. Please help!

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    My girlfriend is feeling the distance. Please help!

    My girlfriend and I have been in a LDR since August-September of last year. I met her earlier that year, the fact that I had to move for a job made her slightly distant so around August we cut contact briefly from one another. We realized we still had strong feelings for one another.

    Since then I've seen her in October, November, and she came out for nearly a month during December - January.

    This has been one of the bigger gaps between our long distance relationship. I have not seen her in nearly eight weeks. I will see her in about a week and a half actually, roughly 10 days, but tonight she told me that she felt that she "forgot what it feels for me being there". That dropped my heart.

    She still has the same feelings for me, she loves me, she still gets these strong sexual feelings of me. She later expounded and told me that sometimes it feels like us being together physically was so long ago. I'm thinking to myself it has only been less than two months.

    The positive thing is that we have an end in sight: May. She is finishing her degree currently and her plan is to be completed in the first week of May. In reality we are about ten weeks away from being together for good. I just believe that between work and school in which she is taking a full course load, she is extremely stressed out.

    With that said she talks about how she is reminded of how much she loves me, how she remembers how I smell, our great sex, everything. I recall a week ago her mentioning that she felt the distance between us one day, just being apart, and that is natural. I just don't want us to forget one another.

    We communicate on a daily basis. We always are energizing one another and challenging each other. I gave her a challenge to start exercising more and she is enjoying that. She is challenging to do small changes in my life. We learn from each other so I believe we grow together in a positive direction. Of coure I want her to worry about the present, but I am concerned about the future.

    This is the same woman that said she wants to have my babies, and honestly I want the same in the future, but for now I just want us to be together. How can I make this work until our end date? She was talking about buying a couch but I think she gets stressed out sometimes about my indecisiveness about making small decisions on items like this (lol) that she is putting it on a low priority right now. Even last week she bought a ticket to come and see me in April. So I will see her for 10 days in March, I will see her for a weekend in April, and I will fly out and see her in May! I'm optimistic but I sometimes wonder about others in LDRs on how they cope as well. Any advice appreciated!

    #2
    Okay so, I'm not really quite sure what the problem is for you? You say that you have great communication and that you feel you both positively encourage and grow with each other. These are all good things!

    You guys have what seem to be frequent visits. This is a good thing, too! You need to focus on the positives instead of trying to find negatives within your relationship, and from what you've explained, I can't really see any.

    I felt the same way your SO did when my boyfriend left me. He was here for 3 months and flew back home in October. I felt like those entire 3 months were a dream, because now I was suddenly back in the reality that he wasn't here with me anymore and life was mundane again. Having him with me was too good to be true. I felt like even though I remembered all the experiences we shared and everything about him, it still felt like it never really happened and it took a while for my brain to comprehend it.

    I haven't seen my SO since October and I won't get to see him until April or May. We don't even have a set date yet, but you know what? I don't care! All I care about is that each day is one day closer to being in his arms and feeling his presence again. Positivity is key! Keep communcation open and honest, and frequent.

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      #3
      I've been on both ends of that, Biscous and I know how hard it can be. Unfortunately, there have been times when I have felt like I can't take the distance for another day, but you just need to find something to get you through that feeling and in your case, closing the distance so soon should really help the both of you remember why you're fighting. I've also been occasionally hurt by things my SO has said about how the distance is getting to her and I can give you one piece of positive advice: No matter how hard things are while you're apart, things get better the instant you get back together. I've felt completely hopeless before, but as soon as I saw my girl's smiling face and felt her arms wrapped around me, I couldn't think of anything except how perfect everything is

      And of course, like Zapookie said, keep up the communication, it's so important!

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        #4
        I just tend to overthink and worry sometimes. She sent me a funny text this morning "Will you marry me? lol" So I told her that I should be proposing to her. There isn't a time where we don't laugh and talk with one another. She clarified for me and told me that she just misses me so much and it is hard sometimes. She wants to be with me. I'm a bit sensitive at times

        So I think things are headed in the right direction. It's just hard sometimes, but I've met so many people between work and life in general that are in Long Distance Relationships. It certainly gives me hope.

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          #5
          Have you tried skype? Maybe her being able to see you will help ease the feeling of the distance. I know that it has worked for me in the past. It's only a temporary fix, but usually helped me.
          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~*** So Much Love to Share ***~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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            #6
            I feel for ya on this one and am glad you get to close the distance in the near future. Maybe send a small care package or hide something at her place where she will find it after you are already gone. Keep up the communcation and enjoy the fact that your end is in sight The distance can be really hard from missing someone but as others have said remember each day is a day less til you can be together.

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              #7
              Originally posted by chef.rae View Post
              Have you tried skype? Maybe her being able to see you will help ease the feeling of the distance. I know that it has worked for me in the past. It's only a temporary fix, but usually helped me.
              I seriously light up when I see her on Skype. Instant attraction too. We do that at least once a week. Often times she doesn't like to use it because she doesn't always think she looks her best when she's online with me. I seriously don't care. Makeup or no. There's been a couple of times where she Skyped me immediately after the gym or spur of the moment. We've done dinner dated on Skype as well. I do enjoy those.

              ---------- Post added at 01:08 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:06 AM ----------

              Originally posted by jsymons View Post
              I feel for ya on this one and am glad you get to close the distance in the near future. Maybe send a small care package or hide something at her place where she will find it after you are already gone. Keep up the communcation and enjoy the fact that your end is in sight The distance can be really hard from missing someone but as others have said remember each day is a day less til you can be together.
              I've seen her some food before with a shirt of mine...bad combination She "stole" a shirt of mine before. At my place she left her shoes, some underwear, hair bands, and some bracelets. A few other small things too. I laughed when I cleaned the bathroom a few days after she left to find a hair of hers there.

              I've sent pictures of each other for us and she definitely appreciates them. Luckily my family and her are in the same town but it's not like they come in contact. I know may family enjoys seeing her. Her friends know about me and want to get to know me more. It is all just time.

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