IN DIRE NEED OF HELP!

[jenjepp]

we talked last night and he came up with an idea. i'd really like to know what you all think about it. once he gets a job and moves out of his parent's house, he would like me to move there for a while. two years max. so that he can have more time with his family and he can prove to them that he can do it and be on his own and that they don't need to be so worried about him all the time. and then, after that, we would both move back here to my hometown. maybe for good, or maybe just for a while. the idea is appealing to me, but i don't want him to do this if he doesn't really want to. and also, we have had a lot of trust issues in our relationship, so it's a little difficult for me to accept that he would actually move here once i'm there and everything is settled and perfect. thoughts?

[keypatalina]

A plan's a start ! Talk out the trust issues and it'll work out in the end, at least he's willing to compromise on a plan (which is a HUGE step imo). I believe you two can work it out, if the trust issues are big though then it won't work even if you're close distance because trust is the foundation for a good relationship. All in all, it sounds like a good plan but you've got to work on the trust which just takes time and faith. Good luck!

[Sierra]

we talked last night and he came up with an idea. i'd really like to know what you all think about it. once he gets a job and moves out of his parent's house, he would like me to move there for a while. two years max. so that he can have more time with his family and he can prove to them that he can do it and be on his own and that they don't need to be so worried about him all the time. and then, after that, we would both move back here to my hometown. maybe for good, or maybe just for a while. the idea is appealing to me, but i don't want him to do this if he doesn't really want to. and also, we have had a lot of trust issues in our relationship, so it's a little difficult for me to accept that he would actually move here once i'm there and everything is settled and perfect. thoughts?

If everything is settled and perfect you may not want to leave.

I've got to admit, something is REALLY bothering me about this thread. I understand your mother is sick. I'm leaving behind a good number of sick family members as well. However, in your posts it's ALWAYS coming back to you both moving back to your home town. Life is full of compromises and you have no idea where it's going to take you in 6 months, let alone in 2 years.

If you guys want to close the distance and you're willing to compromise by moving there, move there only if that's what you want to do. If you're going to have a timer in your head and in two years be all TIMES UP TIME TO GO TO WHERE I LIVE, I really think you need to rethink your decision to move at all. Quite frankly, and please, just be honest. Are YOU ready to move? Or do you not want to?

He can live on his own in his home town and prove to his parents that he can and then possibly close the distance to you. At a certain point we all have to leave our parents. (That includes you)

[deecakkes]

You both definitely need to compromise...
For example, with my boyfriend and I, if we can't figure out where to move, we've decided to meet half way. A relationship is a two way street hun. If both of you are too stubborn to try to make the relationship work then I would say it isn't worth it in all honesty...
But if you can talk to him about it and figure something out, go for it!