so unsure and feeling so alone

[ay91]

My boyfriend and me have been in a ldr now for almost a month. The last week has been really rough on me. I have been feeling so sad and lonely. I am having a really hard time with not being with him. To go from being with him almost everyday for the last two years. we lived together last year and now to go to not seeing him at all is really killing me. I have been feeling very unsure about a lot lately, and at this point I am very lost in what I should do. Even before him moving all the way to Tennessee I was doing a lot of thinking about our relationship, but after he moved it made me realize that I do love him and want to be with him. my feelings are all mixed up at the moment. I think it doesn't help that I don't get to Talk to him. I have only talked to him on the phone once since he moved. We do text but it's almost always me who sends the first text. I am starting to feel like he doesn't care. Even before he moved and when he was living with me we hardly texted, but I knew that he would be coming home to me and we would get to talk and be together, no matter how long he was gone for, but now he is living in Tennessee and I don't know when I will get to see him. I know that has to do a lot with how I am feeling, but I cant help keep thinking this way. I have been doing so much thinking about that. I know I need to talk to him but I am afraid of what will happen if we do. At this point I am thinking it might do us both some good to just break up and just have some time to ourselves. I know if we are meant to be we will meet again sometime in our life's. I really don't want to break up but at this moment my mental state is not doing so well and I can't keep this up. I am making myself so depressed. I need to get my life back on track. I have been unhappy for a very long time now and I need to focus on me. At this moment I am not sure how he feels about me and I am not sure if its just me being so unsure that i am sabotaging our relationship. i am just so unsure about a lot and unhappy with a lot. The one thing that I was sure about was my relationship and now I am so unsure even about that. I really need to talk to him but I am just to scared of what will happen after we are done with that talk.

this was more of a I needed to get this all of my chest and out of my head. I really don't have many people I can talk to about this, or more of a I don't want to bother my friends and family with this.

[jenjepp]

you need to talk to him. i know it's scary, but talking everything out will usually always help.

[ay91]

I know and I am trying to work up the courage too.

[Zapookie]

Yes, you do need to talk to him about how you're feeling. Let him know any of your concerns and your thoughts. I'm sure he will appreciate your honesty. You have to remember to keep your communication open and honest, that is the most important thing in an LDR.

[magician13134]

LDRs are definitely hard, but there are a few things that make them easier and one of those things is just figuring it out. I thought my SO and I had everything figured out for the first two years; we would spend all day every day video chatting. When we got so busy with classes that we lost that, I could barely deal with it and it really made me need to rethink the whole style of our long distance relationship. Once I realized that she could be my girlfriend, but couldn't be all of my friends and my support system, things got much easier.

It sounds like you need to do the same thing, talk to him (I know it can be scary) and tell him exactly how you feel. If you both want to work through the distance, figure out how you can make it work. For me that meant promising one phone call a day to say good night even if it's only a minute long.

[Bethypoo]

Communication is NECESSARY in any relationships but especially in LDRs.

I know that is a repeat of what everyone said. But it really is true. And those who can do it and be honest, make some of the strongest relationships!

Good Luck to you.

[BirdofAFeather]

You don't need to be so lonely. Go out and make new friends and keep yourself entertained with more people. Maybe even get some that will understand your situation! Nobody can survive mentally with only one person to talk to, or a even just a group of people online. Human interaction, of any kind, is essential. Also- as yet ANOTHER repeat of what everyone else said- talk to him Remember! Communication is key! Enjoy life, you only get one shot at it.

[Zephii]

I think that the first step would be to sort this shit out in your head - and on paper. Write down why you're unsure of your relationship - no matter how stupid the reasons might seem. Also write a list of why it's a good relationship. Try to remember all the good times you've had. Remember why this is worth it and hang on to that.

Texting is not the greatest form of communication, and some people simply don't enjoy it. If he doesn't want to text with you find a method of communication he will do. It could be three minute phone calls. It could be snail mail, or email. Or pictures posted into a private album from his phone to his facebook just for you. There are so many ways to communicate, don't let the distance limit either of you.

It's ok to say "I need more" or "I'm scared". It's alright to be needy. If he wont stand by you at your worst, he isn't worth it.

[ay91]

Thanks everyone. I think I am going to text him today and see if we can talk. I really need to be honest about how I feel, that's one thing I have a very hard time with. I don't want to hurt the other people so I put them before me. I have been trying to be more honest with how I feel but its hard to kick old habits. Its also hard because I don't want to be where I am now, but i want to finish the last two semesters I have at the current college I am at. I have a lot to sort out and one of the first has to be talking to my boyfriend and how I feel.