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New member intro and thoughts. (long)

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    New member intro and thoughts. (long)

    Hey LFAD community, I'm Ed. I'm a 25 year old guy from CT. When I found this site through "100 things for LDR couples to do", I was pretty excited. I don't have a good support system here of people that think I'm not a complete idiot for doing this online thing *again.* So let me give you a little backstory and by the time I'm finished, I promise you'll grow to like that I'm a "wall of text" kinda guy.

    When I was 19, I met a girl online... Unintentionally of course, as I wasn't one for *silly* LDRs. Being relatively new to love I general, I gave it a naive shot. A year later, we planned week stays in each others states and my eventual move to live with her. It was all great. I had a new better paying job, new friends, an upgraded life. Until 3 months in she cheated on me and slept with her tattoo artist. That was heart breaking, and after driving my firebird 1,200 miles back home at 90 mph with my tail between my legs to all the "I told you so's"( and my first speeding ticket), I swore to never do it again.

    Fast forward 5 years and countless relationships of varying duration: I'm in love with my best friend. She lives in South Carolina.

    I met her when I was 13 years old, goofing off in an AOL chatroom. Since that day, we never missed more than a few days communication (short of my stay with the other LDR). We've talked/texted/emailed each other through hard times, relationships and lonely nights until late last year we decided enough was enough. When I tried to enter a new relationship, a month ago because I felt she would never give in to my advances, she said we couldn't be friend's anymore. Maybe once a year to catch up. It hurt too much to watch me date another girl for her. If I had to choose between her and this new girl, it wasn't even a contest. I guess my relationship and her words were the breaking point. She asked me to be exclusive, I broke it off with the new girl(who was amazing and I'm sorry for hurting her) and it's now been 16 days exclusive and 8 days "Facebook official." I'm scared it'll end up like last time, but I've never loved another human being more. 12 years is a long time.

    She wants to take the lovey stuff slow(the opposite of my *full throttle attitude), but we've already planned two week-long vacations and a tepid 3 day weekend. We even did a over the phone movie night (thanks 100 things) on sunday. The first time she called me "babe" in our lives was two days ago and while weird, was the most amazing feeling ever.

    Wish me luck! I'm glad to be here amongst like-minded people. I hope to give back as much advice as I get.

    -Ed

    #2
    I am wishing you a lot of luck!! I have been in an LDR for about 7 months, but the last 2 have been super hard. My personal life has been tough and I am feeling the distance in the worst way. Couple that with not having enough money for us both to travel (CO to NJ) its hard not to feel that this LDR thing is too hard. But when it comes down to it, every time....I love him. I love him a lot and breaking up with him because I cant stand the distance seems like throwing out the baby with the bathwater!

    Yesterday when the doubts were starting to get to me, I searched online and found this place! I immediately felt better knowing there were people who understood the crazy and a little different relationship that comes with LDRs.

    I wish you all the best of luck...and I hope you see you around the forums!

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      #3
      Hi Ed! Nice to see another Connecticut-er here! I wish you lots of luck and patience, and I hope you enjoy it here.

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        #4
        Its easier when the other person is putting in as much energy as you. something as simple as "I was looking up things we can do when you come down today and..." or "this song reminded me of you."

        For valentines day, she hand wrote out the lyrics to a song she feels is "us" (Gavin Degraw - Where You Are) and it was the best present I've ever gotten for that day.

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          #5
          You're right...it is about the energy and effort. Its the little things that make a HUGE different in LDR I find. Almost more then in-person relationships.

          That is an awesome V-day present!! I also got something hand made from my BF, I just need a frame to hang it up in

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            #6
            You're going to do great---and super awwww to the falling in love with your best friend!! I'm so happy for you, and isn't it great to be among like-minded people? You're going to do wonderfully.
            "I love thee to the depth, and breadth, and height my soul can reach..." ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

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              #7
              It is nice to be around people with the same problems as yourself. Regular people don't get why I dumped a nice girl that was close by for some girl 800 miles away.

              "how can you trust her?" "what if she's screwing around?" "can't get a real girl?" etc

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                #8
                Sometimes people are negative about LDRs because they don't understand how you can trust a person and love a person you don't see often, but that's when I come here. I love being among people who know exactly what I'm going through regardless of ages. We all have unique stories and it's a great site to share stories, offer advice, and give advice. Welcome to the LFAD community and see you around the forums!


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                  #9
                  Hey, I'm from CT, too! And welcome, I get really excited when guys join because we seriously don't have enough of them. I'm excited for you and I think you'll like it here.
                  Canadian permanent residence APPROVED!
                  Closed the Distance: 09/26/2019
                  Engaged: 09/26/2020

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