Someone cheer me up... =(

[fitfilipina]

Feeling down and like I'm wasting my time with my relationship... feeling like the only people who understand are those in an LDR. Anyone have any encouraging words or just want to talk to me?

[Lizzie Blue]

I certainly don't have all the answers...which is one of the reasons I came here. BUT...there are a few things I try that help when I am having the ugly doubts you are facing.

I do something special for my BF....I buy him a card and send it. Or I will find a graphic or something to email for his phone. Even if you cant talk, I will leave voicemails for him to get latter. It helps to ease the loneliness of it all when I am doing something "for him".

But for me it always comes down to the same thing when I start to think about how hard a LDR is. I always think about how much I love him...and breaking up with him will not help me feel any better. Then I will indeed be alone 100%. At least now, you have someone who is carrying you in their hearts, thinking about you, missing you....even if you can't touch/hug/hold/kiss etc.

Stay strong!

[keypatalina]

I totally understand, this quote has helped me get through the past few days...maybe it'll help you too?

"If two people are meant to be together, they will eventually find their way back into each others arms. No matter what."

It'll be okay, don't feel your relationship is a waste. Think about how much you've learned and grown throughout LDRs are hard, but I think they teach us what we're made of.

[Lizzie Blue]

Love that quote!!

And I think its 100% true

[fitfilipina]

Thanks guys! I just don't know...I believe we are the ones for each other, but I feel like on his end that's starting to fade away. Worst part is...I can't even tell him because he just thinks I'm being a downer when I should suck it up...when the reason I'm coming to him is for support and he's basically telling me that I should learn to deal with this on my own. Makes me feel even more alone. Oh well.

[Lizzie Blue]

My BF and I had a similar situation a few weeks ago. I was feeling insanely lonely and it is his "turn" to fly out to see me. I felt like he wasn't putting in 100% effort in getting the money to do that. The conversation did not go well and turned into a big disagreement.

But at the same time, I needed to be heard, and he needed to hear my feelings and understand them. It has gotten better since then, and finding this place has helped deal with the distance.

[keypatalina]

If you really believe you're meant for one another and have tried everything you can, sometimes it helps to just relax and be glad that you found love (some people never even get that much). If you're like me and are contemplating giving him emotional space to figure himself out, then you've got to just believe that what's meant to happen will happen in the end. Sometimes guys get sick of talking about how we miss them and it just becomes too much for them to deal with, I know you want his support but maybe he can't help right now...I know people on here say that you should always talk and never take a break in ldr, but I've found that sometimes you've got to. Especially if you were close distance for a while, like you and I were, sometimes talking about the same thing over and over without being physically present creates more distance (emotionally anyway). The whole thing sucks, but it'll all work out in the end...you just have to believe it will

[fitfilipina]

Thanks key...how are you initiating taking a break without it sounding like a breakupp?

[keypatalina]

Well, we're a bit older (not that it matters) but we've said we're not going to see other people and I just know that he needs to figure out what he wants to do with his life without the added pressure of a relationship...it would be the same if we were close distance too, I think because he doesn't want to stay in Pittsburgh regardless but he hasn't got a set plan for what he wants to do in life career wise or where he wants to live, he just knows he doesn't want to stay in Pennsylvania forever. I left him a voicemail the other day that I needed to talk to him, but he's been really sick so I'm just waiting for him to call back and then I'll say that I love him but right now he needs time to figure out his life. He was really upset about his job and his life just a few months ago, though not my role in it, and now he wants to just go with the flow career wise. Since, I have a definite timeline (graduation in May, bar exam in July) and I don't have the luxury of just seeing where life takes me, I think it's best we do our own thing and re-evaluate later...if he still wants to be part of my life, great. But if not, then, even if I want him in my life, I have to accept that I deserve someone who wants to be a part of mine and wants me to be a part of theirs. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I feel like if I don't let him go for now then he'll resent me and then I'll lose him for real. Idk if that makes any sense lol, but it's just what I've come to realize after months of back and forth/running around in circles.

I should add that since I have to take the bar in May, I am from Florida, and he doesn't want to stay in PA, my only option is to take the FL bar and hope for the best. Even though, it means I have no control and totally sucks.